


The Trip

by NorthShore7911



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Actress Clarke, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, American Lexa, Artist Clarke, Australia, Australian Clarke Griffin, Domestic Fluff, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Lawyer Anya, Lexa hates Vegemite, Lexa is a Giants fan, Lexa is an Ozzie-phile, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, Mentions of domestic abuse/Past domestic abuse, Police Officer Lexa, Smut, Soulmates, Soulmates Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Strap-On, Stunt woman Raven, Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-01-08 16:49:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 66,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12258249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthShore7911/pseuds/NorthShore7911
Summary: Lexa goes on the trip of a lifetime with her cousin Anya and meets the famous Clarke Griffin, only Lexa has no idea who she is. Clarke's an Australian actress who meets a sweet American girl drinking at a bar and falls head over heels. Fluff and Smut and everything in between. As always, Clexa is endgame.





	1. It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!
> 
> So I've had this story rattling around in my head for a while and finally decided to write it and post it. I have been suffering with some writers block, especially after losing everything I wrote for my other active story and have been struggling to sit down and write. I hope to get an update up for OTDO sometime soon. For the readers of that story, I apologize immensely for leaving you hanging. I hope now that I've gotten myself somewhat motivated that I can get that next chapter out soon. As for this story, it's going to be a few chapters long but I'm not holding myself to any set update timeline. I do intend to finish and hope to give you all something worth your time. Let me also preface this by saying I have never been to Australia and I'm trying my best to be as faithful as I can with locations and slang.
> 
> As an American, after what's happened in Las Vegas and what I see happening in France and Canada and everywhere else where terrorism seems to seep into our lives, all I can say is that I needed something a little light and fluffy right now and I'm sure some of you do to. I hope you enjoy this little story.
> 
> Ste Yuj.

Four years. Lexa had been saving for this vacation for four whole years. It was always her dream to go to Australia. Ever since she was an eight-year-old little girl and her Aunt Jackie took her to the Bronx Zoo and she saw her first koala bear, she was a girl obsessed with all things Australian. After that trip to the zoo, her formerly pink and fanciful Disney princess room had been replaced with a soft blue hue and posters of kangaroos and koalas supplanted Jasmine and Ariel on her newly painted bedroom walls. The crown jewel of her new décor was a full size Australian flag pinned to her ceiling. She would stare at it every night her emerald eyes tracing the outline of the six white stars against the blue filed until they grew heavy with sleep.

When little Lexa bloomed into teen Lexa, her iPod filled became filled with Sia and Kylie Minogue. Her Netflix queue brimmed with documentaries on the indigenous Aboriginal tribes, Mount Augustus, Mount Kosciuszko and the Great Barrier Reef. Her bookshelf bulged with Australian books, historical and fiction alike. She loved all things Ozzie.

Except Vegemite.

Lexa learned that the hard way when she very enthusiastically put a whole spoonful on her tongue after finding a jar in the local grocery store.

Yes, Vegemite was the devil’s cruel practical joke on the amazing people of Australia (and Lexa.)

Lexa sighed as she started out the window of her hotel. It had rained every day since she got here two days ago and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. She had booked a room at the Four Seasons in Sydney. It was a little bit pricey but Lexa wanted to go all out for this trip. Plus it had an amazing view of the Sydney Harbor and the Opera House, a benefit she appreciated at the moment, as she was now and for the foreseeable future, essentially room bound.

“Jesus fuck, does it ever stop raining here?” Anya grumbled as she threw herself on the chair.

Lexa smiled at her cousin’s exasperated huff as she continued to stare out of the floor to ceiling window. “It typically only rains periodically throughout the day and only about thirteen days a month in Sydney at this time of the year.”

“God you’re a fucking nerd.” Anya huffed again as she picked herself up and dramatically flung her body on the bed. She propped herself up on the pile of fluffy pillows behind her as she grabbed the remote from the nightstand and flicked through the TV channels. “Ooo Wentworth” Anya murmured as she tossed the remote on the bed and sprawled out like a starfish.

Lexa could only chuckle at her cousin as she watched the raindrops trickle down the glass in front of her. Her eyes followed a few as the carved their way down the window, leaving watery trails in their wake. She then focused beyond the water to the scene below her. There were a few stray pedestrians covered by umbrella shaped canopies traversing the street below. Dusk was settling over the city swallowing up the overcast and gray skies that had haunted the daylight hours. Lexa reached over to the desk next to her and grabbed her thoroughly dog-eared Fodor’s travel guide to Australia and began thumbing through her bookmarks.

Two hours later as Anya comfortably snored below the mountain of blankets and pillows she had burrowed herself under, Lexa decided to give in to her grumbling stomach and popped on her well worn gray New York Giants hoodie and her tan Timberlands before turning off the TV and slipping out the door to her room.

Lexa would never admit this to Anya, but as much as she was enjoying Sydney, she was feeling slightly homesick and was craving something distinctly American. She Googled the local restaurants until she found an American BBQ place in Darlinghurst. A short Uber ride later and Lexa found herself in front of Surly’s American Grill. Lexa shook off the rain as she made her way inside.

The restaurant was an eclectic mix of modern industrial deigns and rustic Americana décor. Lexa smiled as she sidled up to the bar and took a seat. A young man with a thick Australian accent approached and placed a napkin on front of her as he took her beverage order. Lexa ordered an IPA and the jalapeno veggie burger with a side of coleslaw.

The beer arrived first and Lexa took a generous gulp of the delicious draught, smacking her lips with pleasure from the frothy and hoppy beverage dancing delightfully on her tongue.

“Good?” A sultry and husky woman’s voice called like a siren’s song from the barstool next to her. Lexa’s brain was so utterly consumed by the sweet sound; it forgot how to swallow resulting in her choking on her beer.

“Oh my gosh are you ok?” The siren’s voice called again as Lexa felt a gentle slap on her back as the woman handed her a paper bar napkin. Lexa only nodded as she turned and finally was able to catch a glimpse at the owner of the sexiest voice she had ever heard.

She was golden blonde, her hair cut into a shoulder length bob that flattered and framed her face perfectly. Her blue eyes glittered like sapphires in the dim light of the neon bar signs. Her skin was as smooth as fine porcelain, completely flawless, only accented by a beauty mark above her lip and one above her left eyebrow. Her lips were pink and full, pulled back into a smile that revealed pearly white teeth. She was more intoxicating than all of the beer in the South Pacific combined.

Lexa finally got her coughing fit under control long enough to engage the woman in conversation. “Thank you.” She spoke quietly as she took another napkin from the Greek Goddess before her and wiped her mouth. She watched as the woman’s perfectly shaped brow arched in surprise.  


“You’re an American?” The woman asked softly as she reached behind the bar and grabbed a few more napkins and placed them in front of Lexa.

Lexa took a deep breath, finally seeming to be in control of her body. “Yes.”

“Where from?” The woman spoke in the most perfect Australian accent. Lexa eyes followed the woman’s every movement as she took a drink from her own mug of draft beer, watching as pink lips meet the rim of the glass and an elegant throat bobbed seductively as she swallowed.

“Uh, New York.” Lexa spun her glass mug around so she could grip the handle with her left hand and took another sip of her beer. Her eyes never leaving the woman next to her.

“Oh, I love New York.” The woman smiled. Lexa was completely entranced.

“You’ve been?” Lexa asked a small smile curling up at the corners of her lips.

“Hmm yes.” The woman answered as she took another sip from her beer. “Last month actually for business.”

“Really?” Lexa raised an eyebrow at that. “And what kind of business takes you to New York?”

The goddess looked down into her mug swirling it around a few times, a bright pink blush bloomed across the apples of the woman’s cheeks and Lexa had worried that maybe she had crossed some invisible social line by asking about her work. But the blonde looked back up with a sweet smile on her lips, unknowingly reassuring Lexa that no social faux pas was made. “I’m an artist.”

“Oh?” Lexa asked genuinely interested, subconsciously shifting her body towards the woman. “What kind of artist?”

“I mostly paint, but I do a little bit of drawing and some mixed media. Whatever strikes my fancy.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about art.” Lexa shrugged apologetically as she took another drink.

“You’re from New York and you’ve never been to the Met or the MoMA, or the Guggenheim?” The woman asked as she moved her own body closer to Lexa. The woman’s proper Australian accent caressed Lexa’s ears like a finely composed melody.

“Uh, no.” Lexa shook her head meekly. “Fraid not.”

“Well, I might have to take you then.” The goddess whispered in her ear and a chill ran directly down Lexa’s spine.

Lexa’s food arrived and the woman moved away from Lexa. Lexa missed her presence immediately. She looked up at the man behind the bar. He was handsome with his floppy hair and bedroom eyes and infectious grin. He smiled graciously at Lexa as he delivered her food and politely asked if she needed anything else before turning to the goddess.

“And you hot stuff?” He asked the woman next to her, his tone beyond flirtatious, his thick accent barely comprehensible to Lexa’s American ears.

She eyed Lexa’s food before reaching over and snatching one of Lexa’s french fries and popping it into her mouth. “I’ll have one of what she’s having Finn. Throw some avo on it yeah?”

“Good on ya.” Finn replied with a wink and a smile. He gave Lexa another glance before heading back into the kitchen likely to place the woman’s order.

“You vejjo?” The woman asked, her attention fully back on Lexa as she stole another fry and popped it into her mouth.

Lexa had to think for a minute to try to wade though what she knew of Australian slang. “Yes I’m a vegetarian.” The woman nodded as she took another fry and Lexa mentally high-fived herself for recognizing the term.

The woman’s food came out a few minutes later, Lexa only had a few fries left by that time, but she didn’t mind. She dug into her veggie burger and closed her eyes in delight. The food was amazing, probably the best veggie burger she ever tasted and she lived in New York, the food capitol of the world. Lexa hummed in appreciation as she chewed her burger.

“Good food yeah?” The woman asked as she bit into her own burger.

“Yes. Very good.” Lexa hummed again as she took another bite.

“You have a bit of-” The woman picked up a napkin and carefully wiped a smudge of sauce off of Lexa’s cheek. Lexa found herself blushing at the intimacy of the gesture.

“Oh, um thank you.” Lexa felt the heat creep up her cheeks again.

Both of the women continued eating their food, exchanging casual glances with each other and engaging in small talk. Once they were done, they both ordered another round of beers.

“So, Yankee.” The woman asked with a chuckle as she pushed her empty plate to the back edge of the bar. “You know what I do, what is it that you do?”

“Well, I um, I’m a cop actually.” Lexa said quietly but proudly. She was very proud of the fact the she wore the uniform of New York’s finest.  


“A police officer?” The woman asked and Lexa could almost believe for a second that she perceived a wave of concern come over the woman’s beautiful features. “That seems so dangerous.” The goddess’s fingertips traced over the back of Lexa’s wrist as her hand was resting on the bar. Lexa felt a chill roll down her spine again at the woman’s proximity.

“Not too much. I mean, yes, there is a certain inherent danger that comes with the job obviously. It’s just the nature of the beast. But my beat is pretty calm, mostly break up a few fights here and there and make sure the drunks get where they have to go.” Lexa spoke matter of factly as she took another sip of her IPA.

She gulped hard as the woman’s fingertips traced over the back of her hand before intertwining with her own fingers. “So you’re a glorified bouncer?” The goddess teased with a certain husk to her voice and Lexa’s whole essence burned at the sound.

“Something like that.” Lexa whispered quietly as the woman moved closer.

“Do you um…do you want to get out of here?” The woman asked and every molecule in Lexa’s body rattled with anticipation.

“Yes.” Lexa barely squeaked out as she tried to control her breathing and palpitating heartbeat.

The woman slid off the barstool next to her and wrapped her leather coat around her shoulders hiding her black Metallica t-shirt underneath. Lexa’s eyes tried not to focus on the woman’s ample chest as she dropped money on the bar to pay her bill.

“No need.” Finn leaned over the bar pushing the money back towards Lexa. “Already taken care of.” He spoke in his heavy accent.

“How?” Lexa asked clearly confused. Finn nodded his head over towards the goddess. “Hot stuff picked up your tab. Have a good night.” Finn smirked before he turned back to the register behind the bar.

Lexa turned to the woman next to her. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.”

The woman smiled seductively and Lexa was convinced all the planets in the universe revolved around this brilliant star before her. “It was my pleasure.” The woman spoke softly and Lexa felt herself being dragged directly into this star’s gravitational pull.

She was on a crash course for certain doom and Lexa was impatiently waiting for the imminent collision.

The woman linked their hands together again and led Lexa through the crowd of people to the exit. They huddled under the building’s awning together as the woman fished an umbrella out of her expensive looking handbag. She found what she was looking for and opened the red Chanel umbrella at least that’s what Lexa thought the logo was with her very limited experience with designer well, anything. The woman raised the umbrella between both of them and hooked Lexa’s arm with her own.

They walked a few blocks and even though the rain was pelting the nylon of the umbrella and their feet splashed through the puddles on the sidewalk, Lexa was barely cognizant of anything aside from the sound of the thudding of her beating heart. They stopped in front of a large building and Lexa watched as the woman pulled a key card out of her purse to swipe the door to the lobby.

The woman shook out her umbrella and left it in a stand by the door. Lexa was nervous that something like that was likely very expensive and probably shouldn’t be left in an umbrella stand in the lobby, but the goddess didn’t seem too concerned about it. They made their way to the elevator and Lexa gulped again as she saw the woman push the button for the penthouse. She didn’t have too long to think about the implications of what that meant as she was quickly enveloped by the sweetest pair of lips she had ever had the pleasure of kissing. The woman had pushed her up against the wall of the elevator and Lexa wrapped her arms around her waist as the woman wrapped her hands around Lexa’s neck, playing with the fine soft baby hairs found there as her lips danced magically with Lexa’s own. They were plush and soft and sweet and tasted faintly of the beer they had been drinking at the bar and Lexa could not get enough. She wanted to drown in this woman and have those lips be the last perception of humanity imprinted on her existence before her soul drifted away to the next plane of reality.

The woman pulled back, her eyes bashful and her lips bruised from their kisses. Lexa’s heart dropped, she fully expected that the goddess was going to stop whatever this was. Her body prepared for the forthcoming heartache, she withdrew her hands from the goddess and fisted themselves nervously around the fabric of her long sleeves. She didn’t even know this woman but she knew her heart couldn’t take being separated from her.

The woman pecked her lips quickly before pulling back again. “I just realized that I don’t even know your name.”

Lexa smiled, internally relieved that she wasn’t being rejected. “It’s Lexa.”

“Lexa.” The woman smiled brightly, seemingly testing out Lexa’s name on her tongue. The woman’s arms wrapped tighter around Lexa’s neck, sliding under the hood of her sweatshirt as she leaned in and kissed Lexa’s lips again. Lexa’s hands slipped back around the woman’s waist, they felt comfortable there, like this was the only place they could ever belong.

“And you? Who do I have to thank for buying me dinner?” Lexa whispered into the woman’s ear.

The woman batted her eyes as Lexa nosed her neck, peppering the skin there with light kisses while drinking in her intoxicating and addicting scent.

“Clarke. My name is Clarke.”


	2. The Night Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke takes Lexa home and things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> I'm so happy with the response to this little story. I'm so glad you all are liking it. Here's another chapter that's pretty much all smut.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Clarke?” Lexa murmured. “That’s an unusual name.”

Clarke chuckled quietly as she fumbled for her keys. “My dad was a big Superman fan. I’m lucky I wasn’t named Lois or Lana.”

“Lana? Oh, I can definitely see you as a Lana.” Lexa spoke with a shy smirk through hooded eyes, trying her best to be charming. She had no game. Literally zero game. She had no idea how she ended up in this hallway with the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on.

“Oh, could you now?” Clarke laughed as she finally found her keys at the bottom of her expensive (Louis Vuitton?) handbag. “Could you see me as a Jimmy? Because I’m told that was also an option.” She flicked though the keys on the key ring, trying to find the right one for the door.

“Hmm, Jimmy? Not quite as sexy as Lana. Definitely not as sexy as Clarke.” Lexa saw the pink flush on Clarke’s cheeks and she knew that her lame attempt at being charming was somehow apparently working on this virtual goddess.

“Ah ha!” Clarke hollered triumphantly as she found the key she was looking for and slid it into the deadbolt, turning the lock and pushing the door open. Clarke turned the lights on and Lexa was dumbfounded by the apartment she now found herself in. “Come in. make yourself at home.” Clarke smiled back at Lexa as she toed off her shoes and hung her coat in the closet near the door. Lexa walked down the hallway into an open concept kitchen, dining room, and living room floor plan.

“Holy shit.” Lexa whispered under her breath as Clarke disappeared down a hallway that Lexa assumed led to the bedrooms. The whole place was modern, yet light and airy. It was all decorated in whites and light grays. The kitchen was all white, with white cabinets and counters; the dining room table was made of marble and seemed very expensive looking. The living room had a huge white couch with matching settee and gray ottoman with a fuzzy gray blanket folded neatly over the back and gray throw pillows offering a cushy and comfortable lounging area. It was all placed strategically around a large and modern fireplace that was notched into a wall of marble with a huge flat screen TV hanging above it.

Lexa’s eyes then wandered to a wall of sliding glass doors that led to a large balcony. The rain was still falling, beating at the glass panes and pooling on the floor of the balcony, but Lexa still had a clear view of the matching wood outdoor table and chairs. But what really caught her eye, was the canopy of green that enveloped the balcony area. It was like a living forest was transplanted to the 30th floor. It was amazing and Lexa couldn’t help herself. She opened the sliding glass door and walked outside.

The fat raindrops pelted her face, but all she could see were the trees and shrubbery that lived on top of this building, neatly tucked into niches and alcoves thoughtfully put into place by the building’s architects. She turned around and looked up at the sea of green that even in the darkness was elegantly cascading down the edifice. Lexa had never seen anything like it in her life; even the spectacular view of the Sydney skyline couldn’t shake her attention from the impressive foliage.

Only one thing could divert her attention and it was the view that was now stood in front of her commanding her consideration. Clarke stood leaned against the doorframe dressed only in an oversized Dallas Cowboys t-shirt that hung partially off her left shoulder.

“And here I thought I had met the perfect woman.” Lexa smirked as she pointed to Clarke’s shirt. “But alas, you’re a Cowboys fan.”

Clarke chuckled, her laugh heavenly and infectious. “Is that a deal breaker?”

“That is a _huge_ deal breaker.” Lexa laughed herself, wondering how she found the only Dallas Cowboys fan on the continent.

“Do you plan on staying out there in the rain all night?” Clarke asked, her tone flirtatious.

“Um, no.” Lexa replied sheepishly as she headed back towards Clarke, stopping before she crossed the threshold back into Clarke’s apartment, not wanting to ruin her very nice floors. “I uh,” Lexa looked down at her damp clothes. “I’m wet.”

Clarke raised her brow provocatively as she reached for Lexa’s hoodie. “Isn’t that the whole idea?” She asked with a wicked smile on her face as she pulled Lexa into the living room by the pocket of her sweatshirt.

Lexa smiled shyly as the blush crept up on her cheeks again, flushing her face with a heat that seemed to be ever present around Clarke. “Yeah I guess.” She barely got the flustered sentence out before soft pink lips found her own again. Clarke’s lips tasted sweet and moved against hers like they were made for no other purpose. Lexa felt her Giants hoodie being tugged up and she raised her arms to allow Clarke to remove the item. She watched as Clarke dropped it on the floor, clearly not concerned about ruining the finish of the luxurious wooden flooring. She opened her mouth to say something but Clarke’s lips were back on hers before she could utter a word.

Her arms snaked around Clarke’s waist, her palms flat against the soft cotton fabric of her t-shirt. Clarke felt warm and soft and pliable beneath her fingertips. Lexa melted into her kisses, their tongues dancing in perfect time with each other’s own. Lexa slid her hands up and down Clarke’s back, noticing quickly that she seemed to no longer be wearing a bra a thought that had her smiling against Clarke’s lips.

Lexa then felt Clarke’s hand nervously fiddling with the button of her Levi’s and Lexa pulled away from her to help. She covered Clarke’s hands with her own and guided them, carefully unfastening each button on the fly of her jeans. She felt Clarke’s lips reattach to her body, kissing the delicate skin of her neck. She closed her eyes and moaned silently as Clarke instantly found her most sensitive spots. Clarke could clearly read the signs her body was transmitting louder than a fire alarm and focused her attention on the area right beneath her ear that instantly turned Lexa into an amorphous blob of jelly.

Lexa hummed her appreciation at Clarke’s careful ministrations as she felt Clarke’s hands wandering back to her waist trying to tug down her jeans. But because Lexa stood out in the rain, the wet denim clung to her like a second skin and Clarke could only pull them down as far as the tops of her thighs. Clarke tugged a few more times trying to will the fabric to obey her command and Lexa couldn’t contain her amusement any longer as a bubble of laughter erupted from her throat. Clarke sighed in frustration, burying her head against the warmth of Lexa’s chest before breaking out into her own peal of laughter. Lexa pressed a kiss to the side of Clarke’s head, reveling in the beautiful sound while breathing in her intoxicating scent.

Clarke holds her hands as they carefully shuffle over to the couch. Clarke pushes Lexa down on the plush fabric before sliding down on her knees and forcefully extricating Lexa from her boots and her very offending pair of pants, tossing all of them somewhere over her shoulder. Lexa laughed as she heard her apparel clatter against the hard wood floor, but her laughter quickly faded as she caught Clarke’s eyes, hooded, wanting, dark blue and filled with lust.

Lexa gulped audibly as Clarke crawled up her legs, planting small kisses to the smooth skin of her calves and thighs before gently pushing Lexa’s knees apart and settling in between them. Lexa knew her arousal was more than evident; she could feel the stickiness clinging uncomfortably to her skin since the moment Clarke opened her mouth and started speaking to her back at the bar. She shivered uncontrollably as Clarke placed soft kisses to her inner thighs.

She looked down and beheld the woman before her; she was heart stoppingly beautiful in this moment, hell in every moment. Lexa couldn’t imagine any scenario in which Clarke could not be _utterly_ beautiful. There was something about her, something soulfully deep, yet exceptionally bright, Lexa tried to find the right word to describe it, but it stretched beyond the limits of her vocabulary.

Lexa was pulled out of her thoughts by Clarke reaching up and hooking her fingers around the waistband of her lime green boyshorts. Clarke began slowly pulling them down revealing the damp, but neatly trimmed mound of brown curls beneath. Lexa could only hold her breath as she lifted her hips to let Clarke remove the garment. Clarke tossed them in the same general region as Lexa’s other clothing before smiling sweetly up at Lexa. Lexa reached down and traced the outline of Clarke’s jaw with her fingertips and watched spellbound as Clarke leaned in and used her tongue to run through Lexa’s folds.

Clarke’s tongue was skillful, magical and completely destructive. Lexa’s head lulled back into the posh fabric of the couch as her hands fidgeted with the seam of her white V-neck t-shirt that for whatever reason she couldn’t understand was somehow still on her body. She wanted to run her fingers through the golden blonde hair now tucked between her legs and pull her impossibly closer, but she thought that might be too forward, too aggressive. She didn’t want to do anything to scare Clarke off, so she resigned herself to nervous fidgeting.

Clarke had been mischievously running her tongue up and down and all around Lexa’s most intimate area. Lexa could tell she was exploring, testing, playing, teasing. Clarke hadn’t even hit the zone that Lexa was longing for her to touch but she was already convinced she had died and gone to whatever her idea of heaven was. Clarke finally seemed content to dive in and her tongue stiffened as she found Lexa’s sensitive nub.

Clarke’s tongue rolled around and over her clit, expertly flicking, circling, stroking and thrumming. “Clarke.” Lexa moaned out into the silent apartment. Lexa wasn’t normally very vocal in bed, but she couldn’t help the lewd sighs and vulgar moans that were escaping from her lips.

Lexa sucked in a deep breath as she felt a finger teasing at her entrance. Clarke looked up, silently asking for permission and Lexa shyly smiled back at her, expressing her consent. Clarke slowly inserted one finger letting Lexa adjust to the sensation. Lexa faintly nodded indicating that she was ok and Clarke began slowly sliding in and out, her tongue and lips gently sucking on Lexa’s clit, her fingertip curling into the previously undiscovered sensitive spot on Lexa’s front wall. Lexa usually wasn’t one for being penetrated, but Clarke was tender and sweet and _loving_. Lexa was almost convinced that she was back in her room dead asleep next to Anya and that this wasn’t anything more than some erotic dream because no one has ever made her feel this good.

Lexa’s eyes squeezed shut as she could feel her orgasm rapidly building and any other time she would have been embarrassed at how easily Clarke was making her cum, but now it was all she could do to keep from humping Clarke’s face like a dog in heat. Clarke had built her up in the most delicious way and Lexa was on the edge of falling over into something deep and unfamiliar.

“Lexa.” The sweet and husky voice pulled her from her thoughts and Lexa opened her eyes and looked back down at Clarke. “I want to see you. I want to see those beautiful green eyes.”

Lexa couldn’t do anything but obey Clarke’s request. The two locked eyes as Clarke dropped back down and worked Lexa’s clit as her finger began a tortuously slow but smooth rhythm in and out of Lexa and Lexa was spellbound by the blue eyes that stared back at her. She could feel the muscles in her stomach and thighs burning as they tensed with each thrust and suck, and the sounds that were escaping her mouth were embarrassingly pornographic but she could not care. “Clarke.” She whimpered meekly as she came harder than she ever had in her life.

Clarke worked her back down as beautifully as she had worked her up, blue eyes focused on her own the whole time. She cleaned her up with a soft tongue and pressed gentle sweet kisses to her mound. Lexa only watched, her limbs too slack and her chest too relaxed to do anything else as Clarke crawled slowly back up her body.

The goddess straddled her legs and laid a sweet kiss to her lips. Lexa blushed again as she tasted herself on Clarke’s lips and tongue. Lexa willed her arms to move around Clarke’s waist and thankfully they complied. Clarke nipped lightly at her pulse point and Lexa could feel Clarke’s eyelashes flutter against the sensitive skin of her neck. “Clarke?” Lexa whispered.

“Hmm?” Clarke’s breath was hot against her throat.

“Where is your bedroom?”

Clarke picked her head up with a sweet smile and snaked her arms around Lexa’s neck. “Down the hall, last door on the left.” She answered breathlessly in her perfect Australian accent.

Lexa nodded and hoped her legs wouldn’t fail her as she hooked her hands under Clarke’s exposed thighs and jumped up, Clarke’s legs wrapping instinctively around her waist. Lexa’s hands were trembling with nervous excitement at where they made contact with Clarke’s milky white skin and she could feel Clarke’s arousal that had seeped though the goddess’s panties as it pressed firmly against her stomach. Lexa closed her eyes and the sensation, only opening them again when Clarke giggled, literally giggled as Lexa carried her down the hall. Lexa couldn’t contain the smile that broke out on her own lips at hearing the beautiful sound.

Lexa arrived at their destination and awkwardly pushed through the bedroom door with her foot before unceremoniously toppling them both onto Clarke’s king sized bed, Clarke giggling sweetly in her ear then entire time. Lexa looked down at Clarke, her eyes twinkled in the dim ambient light of the room, her smile was bright and genuine, her blonde hair sat splayed all about the white comforter beneath them and Lexa felt her chest ache at the ease of this situation, how Clarke felt familiar and comfortable and _earnest_ underneath her. Lexa had to shake her head to chase away feelings that were all too intense and had come on far too quickly for a woman she had only met hours ago.

She leaned down and kissed Clarke and their tongues languidly danced against each other. She wanted to reciprocate and show Clarke exactly how much she appreciated what she had done for her inly moments before. She longed to taste Clarke on her tongue and feel her naked skin pressed up against her own. Her hands wandered down to the edge of Clarke’s long t-shirt, fingertips lingering momentarily over the soft skin of Clarke’s thighs only before gently tugging on the fabric. Clarke sat up as Lexa moved back on her knees removing the garment and dropping it on the floor.

Lexa could only gulp as she laid her eyes upon Clarke’s body for the first time. Clarke was all soft curves and creamy white skin. Her breasts were perfect, nipples pink and proud and standing tall under Lexa’s gaze. Lexa couldn’t help herself and she dropped her head and wrapped her lips around a stiff nipple with Clarke’s throaty moan indicating that her attention to that particular area was more than welcome.

Clarke arched her back into Lexa’s touch, forcing her nipple further into Lexa’s mouth. Lexa was more than happy to oblige Clarke’s subtle demand and took her time licking and teasing at the stiff bud. She grazed lightly with her teeth and sucked in her breath causing Clarke’s flesh to pucker into goosebumps. She then turned her attention to Clarke’s other breast offering it the same treatment.

Clarke’s soft sighs and heady moans prodded her on. Her name on Clarke’s lips was like pure uncut heroin. Lexa’s only had one hit and she was already completely addicted. She couldn’t get enough. Clarke’s skin tasted as good as it smelled and once Lexa finally decided she had worshipped Clarke’s breasts enough she set out to lavish every remaining inch of her skin with thorough attention. She nibbled sweetly at her collarbones, licked lightly at her ribs, kissed softly at the plane of her abdomen and sucked tenderly on her hipbones. All while Clarke panted and sighed beneath her.

Once Lexa finally settled between Clarke’s legs she took in a deep breath. Clarke’s panties were soaked with her arousal even if Lexa couldn’t see how turned on Clarke was, she could absolutely smell her. Her scent was heavenly and Lexa could only imagine how Clarke would taste on her tongue. Lexa was hoping to not have to imagine long as she hooked her fingers into ruined white panties and slid them down Clarke’s legs, dropping them on the floor near her nightshirt.

Clarke spread her legs open and Lexa looked up at her and smiled before beholding the sight before her. Clarke was completely shaved, pink and glistening. Lexa sat back on her knees and ran her hands up the expanse of Clarke’s thighs. She wanted to savor this moment. Clarke open and wanting and waiting only for her, at least thats what Lexa hoped. She hoped that she wasn’t the next person in a string of one-night stands. The next notch on Clarke’s belt or her bedpost or whatever other place people kept records of that sort of thing. The thought of her goddess spread open before someone else made Lexa’s stomach turn.

“Lexa?”

Lexa blinked away her jealous thoughts and swallowed back the flash of anger she felt at the prospect of Clarke being with someone else. She knew that she had no right to feel any of those things.

“Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” Clarke asked as she pulled Lexa up her body by the fabric of her somehow still on shirt. “It seemed like I lost you there for a minute.”

Lexa only nodded as blue eyes searched her face. “I’m fine.”

“Then kiss me.” Clarke husked with a smile and Lexa did exactly as she asked.

Lexa nestled her hips between Clarke’s, their bodies slotting together perfectly. She propped her weight on her left elbow and kissed Clarke deeply as her right hand traveled soft curves. She trailed her fingertips over Clarke’s ribs and abdomen, then the sensitive skin of her hips before slowly traveling further south. She ghosted over the soft skin of Clarke’s mound before dipping lower into Clarke’s folds.

“Lex.” Clarke whispered reverently as Lexa softly explored. Lexa listened to her moans and sighs and learned quickly what, how and where Clarke liked to be touched. She used small tight circles around her clit, occasionally dipping back down into her opening to seek out more of her wetness before moving back up. She wanted to work Clarke up as slowly as Clarke had worked her up. Lexa seemed to hit a particularly sensitive spot and Clarke opened her legs even wider. Lexa used this opportunity to gently tease at Clarke’s entrance and Clarke canted her hips up to meet Lexa’s fingers.

Lexa slowly eased two fingers into Clarke and was amazed at how velvety smooth she felt around her. She gave her a minute to get used to the stretch before gliding in and out of her. If Lexa thought her moans were pornographic, Clarke’s were downright filthy. Lexa set a even pace, making sure to curl her fingers on Clarke’s front wall eliciting a string of expletives to fall from Clarke’s lips with every pass.

Lexa nipped at the delicate skin of Clarke’s throat as she worked in and out. Even through her t-shirt she could feel Clarke’s nails gripping into her shoulders hard enough that Lexa had no doubt they would leave bruises.

“Fuck Lexa, I’m so close.” Clarke moaned quietly in her ear, as the grip on her shoulders got even tighter. Lexa upped her thrusts, moving her own hips behind her hand to add muscle. She picked her head up and watched as Clarke fell apart beneath her.

If she thought Clarke was beautiful before, Clarke writhing and moaning while cumming underneath her was absolutely _stunning_ , and the only thing Lexa could do was observe and listen.

Clarke’s body relaxed and she sunk into the bed, a lazy smile drawing up her full lips, a light pink blush over her cheeks and upper chest. Lexa smiled as she felt Clarke pull her in for another languid kiss.

“You still have your shirt on.” Clarke whispered with a smile as she played with the cotton fabric.

“Someone forgot to take it off.” Lexa whispered back though her own smile.

Lexa felt fingertips dancing near the hem of her shirt. “Here, let me.” Clarke whispered again as Lexa felt the fabric pull over her head. She pulled her arms out and Clarke threw the shirt somewhere on the floor.

“You really like throwing things, don’t you?” Lexa asked with a grin.

“Easiest way to rid yourself of something you don’t want.” Clarke laughed and Lexa hummed in agreement.

Clarke picked up her hand as Lexa felt as fingertips traced her jawline, her chin, her brow and her cheekbone. Her own eyes fixed on Clarke’s, suddenly feeling wary under the artist’s scrutiny.

“You’re beautiful Lexa.” Clarke whispered and Lexa felt her heart skip a beat at the words. She leaned down and kissed her again before Lexa begrudgingly removed herself from Clarke and rolling on her side. As she did, Lexa was suddenly overcome by a distinct sense of awkwardness. She had never had a one-night stand before and she didn’t know what exactly she was supposed to do now that the sex was seemingly over. Does she stay? She wanted too, God she really did. But would that be weird? And if she does, does she just stay or does she wait for Clarke to ask? Or is she supposed to ask Clarke? Or does she just leave? Gather up her clothes and do the walk of shame back to her hotel? Does she give Clarke her number or does she just say a polite thank you as she exits? Lexa squeezed her eyes shut. Why did this have to be so fucking complicated?

“Lexa?” Clarke asked quietly.

Lexa opened her eyes and saw blue ones gazing back at her. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

Clarke wiggled her body closer to Lexa, mirroring her position. “I’ve never done this before.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

Clarke seemingly understood and she explained further. “This.” She said as she pointed back and forth between the two of them. “Brought someone home that I just met. I’ve never done _this_ before.”

“Oh.” Lexa let out a relieved breath. “Me either. I’ve never done this before either.” Lexa used her hands to mimic the same gesture Clarke used.

“Stay?” Clarke asked sheepishly, her body language timid and her eyes utterly genuine and God, Lexa’s heart broke at the shy uncertainty that crept though the sincerity of her voice.

Lexa nodded as she nudged closer to Clarke and wrapped her arms around her. “I would like that.”

Clarke nodded in agreement as she tucked her head under Lexa’s chin. “Me too.” She whispered into the skin of Lexa’s neck as she cuddled into Lexa’s chest. Lexa reached behind her and pulled the part of the comforter they weren’t laying on over them before wrapping her arms back around Clarke. She listened as Clarke’s breath evened out before deciding to close her own eyes, the tapping of raindrops against the window lulling her into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.realestate.com.au/property-apartment-nsw-sydney-125978370
> 
> Clarke's apartment if you all were interested.


	3. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke wake up after a night of passion, but what happens now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Here's another chapter. Thank you for all the comments and kudos! I really appreciate the feedback. 
> 
> FYI: Below the chapter is a picture related to the story.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lexa blinked a few times before opening her eyes. She squinted as she looked up at the ceiling, panicking for a minute that it was not one she recognized until she remembered the events that transpired last night. A small smile broke out on her lips at the thoughts of Clarke on her knees before her, about Clarke under her naked and writhing and _beautiful_.

Lexa used the back of her hands to try to rub the sleep out of her eyes. It was just starting to get light out, so it must have been somewhat early. She propped herself up on her elbow and peered out the sliding glass door to yet another balcony, noticing the clouds that still hung gloomily in the sky. She yawned and stretched out her back, several satisfying pops later, she decided to take a good look around Clarke’s bedroom.

While the rest of Clarke’s modern style apartment (at least the parts that Lexa had seen) was decked out in whites and light greys, her bedroom was much warmer. It was adorned with deep chocolate browns, slate greys and muted beiges. The only break from the earthen palette was a large painting that hung on the wall to the left of the bed. It was a huge canvas, and on it was a magnificent moonlit beach and dark blue star filled sky. But what really caught Lexa’s attention was the figure in the foreground. It was an astronaut, dressed in a full space suit, sitting on a hollowed out log next to a campfire.

Lexa freely admitted to Clarke she didn’t know anything about art, because she really didn’t. But this piece was captivating. The juxtaposition of two seemingly opposite worlds, the complex vastness of space and the simple beauty of earth, colliding in such a way really resonated with Lexa for a reason that she just couldn’t really understand. She squinted again and caught the looping initials painted in the bottom left corner.

C.G.

Lexa looked over at Clarke, she was on her side curled up into a little ball. A tuft of blonde hair peeking out from under the off-white comforter which, by the way, she had totally pilfered from Lexa at some point during the night. Lexa didn’t mind though, her body ran so hot she was practically a furnace, especially when she was asleep.

She lay back down on her side and watched as Clarke slept. Her fingers itched to reach over and trace Clarke’s features, to run through her hair, to tilt up her chin so Lexa could properly place a kiss on her full pink lips. But as much as she was dying to do all of those things, Lexa was unsure if that level of familiarity was still acceptable. Clarke had asked her to stay, yes, but that didn’t mean Clarke would want to be accosted in her sleep by someone who was for all intents and purposes, a stranger. Lexa folded her hands and moved them under her head, restraining her wayward limbs in order to better fight her inner urges to touch. She sighed quietly in resignation, knowing that she could only stare at the other woman slumbering peacefully.

That’s not weird………..right?

She must have fallen back to sleep because the next time she opened her eyes, the full light of day has found its way into the bedroom. It was still dark and gloomy, but had thankfully stopped raining, at least for the time being.

She felt a cold nose nuzzle against the bare skin of her chest and would have yelped at the shock of the temperature change if she weren’t so completely happy with the situation she now seemed to find herself in.

Clarke was practically lying completely on top of her, her face curled up into Lexa’s chest, cold nose snuggling happily against warm skin. One arm haphazardly thrown across the expanse of the bed, the other wrapped tightly around Lexa’s torso. The comforter lying flat as if the bed was made and pulled up high on Clarke’s body, blonde hair poking out of the top and tickling at Lexa’s chin. Lexa wasn’t sure if she should wrap Clarke up in her arms or try to tap into her finely honed stealth skills to silently extricate herself from underneath the blonde. Then it hit her.

Clarke didn’t accidentally roll into this position in her sleep; she knowingly placed herself on top of Lexa and pulled the comforter up tight over her head.

Apparently Clarke was absolutely _fine_ with this level of familiarity.

Lexa smiled as she finally gave into her near primal urges and wrapped her arms around Clarke. Lexa closed her eyes at the feeling of how right this felt, how right _Clarke_ felt pressed up against her skin, safe and content in her arms. She wondered how it would feel to wake up like this every morning for the rest of her life, because right now the thought of waking up in her shitty Queens apartment all alone in an empty bed made her chest physically ache. Lexa sighed; chasing those impractical and impossible thoughts away as she pressed a soft kiss to the top of Clarke’s head before once more drifting off to sleep.

The next time Lexa woke up she was alone. She was lying on her stomach, face buried in a fluffy pillow, Clarke’s comforter carefully pulled up over her shoulders. Lexa picked her head up and looked around, she noticed that her clothes were neatly folded on the chair by the windows, her boots tidily lined up on the floor next to the chair. She righted her body as sat up in the bed, smiling at Clarke’s thoughtful gesture. She wasn’t smiling for long as her bladder started protesting loudly because had reached max capacity. Lexa hopped up from the bed, grabbing her clothed before making a beeline for Clarke’s en suite bathroom.

The heavenly smell of breakfast foods lured a now completely dressed Lexa back out towards the kitchen. She spied Clarke at the stove, one hand stirring something in a pan while the other held the handle steady. Clarke was dressed casually, fuzzy red socks, loose fitting navy blue sweatpants and a white t-shirt that looked suspiciously like the exact one Lexa was now missing. Lexa could only cross her arms and casually smile at this newly discovered domestic persona of her goddess.

Clarke turned around to plate the scrambled eggs she was cooking in the pan, smiling brightly when she caught Lexa in her line of vision.

“You’re awake.” Her smile stretched even wider.

“Yeah, um your bed is really comfortable.” Lexa said timidly, suddenly nervous under the weight of Clarke’s gaze.

“It really is.” Clarke said as she evenly dispersed scrambled eggs onto two white plates. “I hope eggs and toast are ok?” Clarke asked hopefully and Lexa nodded her agreement. Clarke motioned for Lexa to sit at the dining room table as she brought over a stacked plate of buttered toast and two plates of eggs with a side of grilled tomatoes and mushrooms. She then hustled back to kitchen and gathered up a variety of jams, jellies and yes…Vegemite and brought that as well as a bowl full of fresh cut watermelon, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries over to the table.

Lexa sat down, taking the white line napkin from the place setting that Clarke had fixed and folded it over her lap. “Wow.” She stated as she eyed the spread laid our before her and her stomach grumbled obnoxiously. “This is impressive Clarke, but you really didn’t have to do all this.”

“Nonsense. You’re my guest and I’m sure your starved.” Clarke replied happily spreading a thin layer of Vegemite over her buttered toast. Lexa eyed the dark brown paste with a clear and apparently quite obvious contempt as Clarke took a bite and hummed her appreciation. “Would you like some?” Clarke asked as she held the jar out for Lexa.

“No thank you.” Lexa responded as she waved her hands frantically and shook her head in an exaggerated manner.

Clarke smiled as she took another bite, chewing with vigor. “Not a fan?” she asked after swallowing her toast.

Lexa sat back from the table and scratched as her chin. “How do I say this politely?” she spoke as she pondered the correct choice of words to fully express how deep seeded her hatred of the yeast paste really was. “I would rather eat a hot steaming pile of horse shit.” She said as she tried to maintain a serious expression but only ended up with a crooked smirk.

Clarke barked out a happy laugh and Lexa grinned stupidly at the sound. “So _really_ not a fan then?” she asked with a chuckle as Lexa shook her head again.

Lexa spread some apricot jelly on her piece of toast and picked up her fork and dug in. Her eyes widened in surprise as the flavor exploded on her tongue. Either Clarke had Bobby Flay stashed away in a closet somewhere in this apartment, or she was an amazing cook. And seeing how Lexa didn’t find the Iron Chef flitting about the kitchen this morning, it must have been her goddess that made these fluffy and heavenly eggs. Beautiful, talented, successful and she could cook?

This woman was _marriage_ material.

That is of course, if they weren’t living on opposite ends of the planet.

The thought of being separated from Clarke by 16,000 miles made Lexa’s eggs get stuck in her throat. She coughed and quickly grabbed for the drink Clarke offered her, taking a big swig of the apparently freshly squeezed orange juice and cleared her throat a few times. Clarke politely handed her another napkin to wipe her mouth.

God, she was a complete fucking disaster.

And in true disaster form Clarke watched the train wreck that was Lexa with rapt fascination.

“You ok?” Clarke asked with genuine concern.

“Yeah.” Lexa loudly cleared her throat again. “Just went down the wrong pipe.” She replied before taking another big gulp of orange juice and just like that Clarke’s furrowed brow smoothed out and her smile lit up the room brighter than the sun.

“This food is amazing Clarke, I mean like really amazing. I’ve never had scrambled eggs this good before.” Lexa added as she took another bite and silently prayed she wouldn’t choke to death on this one.

“Thank you.” Clarke hummed as she took another bite of her toast. “I really love brekkie, it's the best meal of the day, and eggs are my all time favorite. I’ve picked up a few tricks over the years, developed a few secret recipes.” Clarke said with a wink and Lexa had to slowly and carefully swallow her food.

“Well I’ll have get you to spill your secrets because these eggs are fucking fantastic.” Lexa said with her own wink, trying to be charming. Zero game be damned.

“Oh?” Clarke asked with a raised eyebrow and a devious smile. “And how will you do that?”

“Well.” Lexa took another drink. Wow, this juice is good. “I am a cop, I have been trained in _all_ forms of interrogation.” Lexa smirked like a goofy adolescent schoolboy.

“Is that so?” Clarke brought out her own sexy smirk and fuck, Lexa could already feel herself already getting uncomfortably wet at their frisky banter. Clarke stood up out of her chair and stalked towards Lexa like a tigress. Lexa gulped audibly as Clarke leaned in right next to her right ear, teeth gently nibbling at her lobe.

“Salsa Verde.” Clarke whispered breathlessly into her ear.

“Wait? What?”

Clarke stood up and sauntered back to her own chair, hips swaying seductively, before sitting down with a gracefulness that Lexa had never possessed and Lexa was left slack jawed and utterly dumbfounded by what had just happened.

“That’s my secret.” Clarke spoke smugly as she took another forkful of her own eggs.

“Well shit.” Lexa uttered as she sat dejectedly back in her chair. It took almost thirty seconds before both women broke out in a fit of raucous laughter.

The rest of their breakfast was filled with free flowing laughter and light conversation. Being with Clarke was relaxing, comfortable and so _easy._ Lexa felt like she had to pinch herself to wake from this dream because she has never felt this at ease with anyone in her life. She didn’t have to pinch herself; the distinct ringtone blaring from her IPhone brought her plummeting back to reality.

“Fuck!” Lexa shouted as jumped up from the table and ran over to the source of the noise. Clarke had thoughtfully plugged her phone into a charger on the counter and Lexa slid her finger across the screen taking a deep breath before she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hello? HELLO?! That’s all you say is fucking HELLO? Lexa do you know how fucking worried I was? You’ve been gone for fifteen fucking hours, FIFTEEN FUCKING HOURS! No fucking calls, no fucking texts. Where the fuck are you????” Lexa was holding the phone away from her ear, Anya’s voice shrill and deafening.

“Anya, take a deep breath. I’m fine. I’m perfectly safe. I’m sorry I didn’t call or text.” She turned and looked at Clarke who was now leaning against the white kitchen island, concern furrowing her brow once again. “I’m at a friend's house. I’ll be back soon, ok?”

“Lexa, you better come up with something better than that by the time you get here, because you near gave me a fucking heart attack and that bullshit excuse isn’t going to cut it.” Anya sighed, pausing for a moment before her voice softened. “I’m glad your ok, get back soon?”

“I will.” Lexa answered apologetically before hanging up her phone. She stared blankly at the black screen for a minute before taking a deep breath and looking up at Clarke. The sight that Lexa found tore at her soul.

Clarke looked positively heartbroken.

“Your girlfriend?” Clarke asked, her shaky voice betraying her hurt.

“What?” Lexa asked shocked. “No.” She stepped towards Clarke and wrapped her arms around her, no longer even attempting to fight that urge. “No Clarke.” She whispered into her hair as Clarke clung desperately to her. “Anya, she’s my cousin. She came on this trip with me so I wouldn’t be here alone. I’m…I’m very much single.” She felt her own heart breaking as Clarke cried fat tears into her Giants hoodie.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke whispered as she pulled away. “I just saw your phone when I picked up your clothes and I shouldn’t have looked but your phone was blowing up and Anya seemed like she was someone…important. I shouldn’t have looked and I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I have no right to do either of those things.” Clarke sobbed and tried to wipe away her tears with her napkin as she sniffled.

Even her sniffle was adorable.

“Clarke, no I…my phone battery sucks and I know it was almost dead when we left the bar. I should’ve let Anya know I wasn’t coming back. I’m the one who should apologize. This is all my fault. I didn’t…I’m sorry this upset you. I’m sorry _I_ upset you.” Lexa spoke sincerely and hoped Clarke believed her. Clarke nodded and Lexa pulled her back in to her body, her arms embracing her tightly.

“Lexa?” Clarke whispered into her chest.

“Yeah?” Lexa answered, wrapping her arms tighter around Clarke.

“I…I don’t know how all this works, one-night stands. I don’t know what the rules are. And I know I’m probably breaking one, hell crying all over you is probably breaking another one.” Clarke spoke though a strangled laugh and Lexa laughed nervously with her. “All I do know is that I don’t want you to walk out that door and never see you again.”

Lexa felt Clarke’s fingers wrapping tightly into the fabric of her hoodie. “I don’t know how this works either, but I do know that I don't want to walk out that door and never see _you_ again.”

“How long are you here?”

Lexa sighed, “I have about two weeks left before I go back.”

“Two weeks?”

Lexa nodded against Clarke’s head, pressing a kiss there as she pulled her impossibly closer. “Two weeks.”

“Can I take you out on a date?” Clarke asked sincerely, hope tingeing her voice and betraying her eagerness.

The logical part of Lexa’s brain knew she should say no, knew that whatever this was, it would _never_ work. Knew that in two weeks time she would be thousands of miles away and utterly heartbroken, knew that she was unworthy of someone like Clarke. Knew that this was a huge mistake.

But her heart, her heart was a romantic, wistful, hopeful and emotional son of a bitch. It led her down the wrong path once before and she literally had the scars to prove it. She knew that it couldn’t be trusted and shouldn’t be trusted. But if that was the case, how did the woman in her arms that she’s known less than 24 hours feel so right, how did she already feel like home? Yes, her heart was a fickle motherfucker.

But goddamn if it wasn’t winning the tug of war with her head.

“Yes. I would love to go out on a date with you Clarke.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clarke's painting. Credit to the original artist. 


	4. Exodus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds out who Clarke really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> This chapter is a bit of light angst, it doesn't get too heavy as this is intended to be a lighter story. Also, I have no beta so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lexa slid the cardkey into the door, knowing full well what was awaiting her on the other side. Anya was a softie at heart, but that was after you chipped away at the cold, austere and downright intimidating exterior. When Lexa crossed the threshold into her room she was confronted with her stone-faced cousin. Arms and legs crossed, icy glare fixed firmly on her face and posture that told Lexa her cousin was in full on prosecutor mode.

“Ahn.” Lexa greeted Anya politely before trying to stealthily slip into her bathroom.

“Oh no Lexa, you are not sneaking off to clean your shame away without providing me an explanation.”

Lexa sighed as she scratched nervously at her neck. “I’m sorry, I should have called or texted you to let you know I wasn’t coming back.”

Anya sunk further back in her chair. “Lex, you’re a cop, I’m a D.A., and we both know we have seen a lot of horrible things happen on our watches. Do you have any idea how much dreadful shit has been going through my mind?”

Lexa sat down on the edge of the bed facing her cousin. “I know Ahn, if it was you I would have been thinking the same stuff. But I also know you can take care of yourself.”

“I know you can take care of yourself Lexa, I’ve seen all that krav maga shit you do.” Anya said with a slight chuckle. “But you’re like my kid sister, _I worry_. I will always worry.”

“I know. I’m sorry I worried you.” Lexa offered, genuinely apologetic.

‘C’mere asshole.” Anya stood up and opened her arms, her formerly hard posture now soft. Lexa fell into her cousin’s embrace.

“Now.” Anya pulled back from their hug. “Tell my why you smell like Chanel No. 5?”

“What?” Lexa pulled her hoodie up to her nose and took a deep breath. Clarke’s scent was embedded in the cotton fabric. A large smile broke out on her face.

Anya laughed at Lexa’s toothy grin. “Alright, spill.”

Lexa sat down on the couch that lined the sitting area of her suite and Anya sat next to her. She pulled the throw pillow into her lap, wrapping her arms around it as Anya settled in on her own side.

“I met someone.” Lexa smiled wide, unable to contain her joy.

“Fucking obviously.” Anya laughed before lightly smacking Lexa’s thigh. “Who is she?”

Lexa hugged the pillow tighter to her chest. She was suddenly nervous although she wasn’t sure why. Anya was not only her older cousin, but also her best friend. She had had these kinds of talks with Anya several times in the past. Memories of Anya explain the birds and the bees to her when she was 12 suddenly popped into her head. Lexa had been mortified the first time Anya said the word ‘vagina’ and her mortification continued for the entirety of the discussion. But in retrospect, she was glad Anya had given her good truthful information and didn’t coddle her like some of the adults in her life did.

Lexa blew out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding in. Anya looked at her through squinted eyes, her fingers tapping her knee impatiently.

“Her name is Clarke.”

“Clarke.” Anya repeated the name nodding her head.

Lexa “Clarke um... shit.” Shit. Lexa just realized she didn’t know Clarke’s last name.

“Clarke Shit?” Anya asked with a raised eyebrow. “That’s an interesting name.”

“No. Her name’s not… hold on.” Lexa pulled her phone out of her back pocket and scrolled though her contacts. She gave Clarke her phone this morning so she could put in her number.

“Griffin!” Lexa exclaimed as she held her phone up for Anya to see. “Her name is Clarke Griffin.”

Anya’s jaw nearly unhinged as it dropped open. Lexa would have laughed at Anya’s expression being so undignified if she weren’t so concerned about her cousin possibly requiring medical attention.

“What?” She asked nervously, secretly hoping that Anya’s jaw wouldn’t need an orthopedist in order to be reattached to her skull.

“Clarke Griffin? The. Actual. Clarke. Griffin?” Anya asked still slack jawed.

“Um. I guess so?” Lexa shrugged.

“Holy fuck Lexa? How can you in good conscience call yourself a card carrying gay and not know who Clarke Griffin is?” Anya asked incredulously as she pulled out her own phone. Lexa watched as Anya scrolled though her phone for a few minutes before handing it to Lexa.

Lexa’s eyes went wide as she looked down at the screen.

“Holy Shit.”

_@BigBellBlake Congrats to @CGriff for the Emmy nod!!_

_@JAZZTAY Miss you Griffin!! Congrats on the Emmy nomination!_

_FX’s “Exodus” leads the pack with seven Emmy nominations including a Best Actress nomination for star Clarke Griffin…_

_“Exodus” fans clamoring for more scenes between Clarke Griffin and Jasmine Taylor…_

_Jasmine Taylor spills all! “Clarke Griffin is the best kisser!! I just love her!”_

_“Exodus” producers give the behind the scenes details regarding the long-awaited love scene between star Clarke Griffin and guest star Jasmine Taylor…_

_Clarke Griffin admits she’s bisexual and proud. Rolling Stone writer Jarod Joseph talks to the “Exodus” star about love, fame, growing up in Sydney and yes, that infamous kiss…_

_Clarke Griffin, star of FX’s popular hit series “Exodus,” talks about that racy kiss between her and guest star Jasmine Taylor…_

_Clarke Griffin talks about the rigorous training her role requires as queen of the outcasts in FX’s latest hit “Exodus.” “I had no idea that I would be getting put on my arse so much!” Griffin laughed as she described her…_

_“Exodus” ratings soar after teasing possible pairing of Rachel (Clarke Griffin) and Alexis (Jasmine Taylor)…_

_@CGriff So excited to be working with @JAZZTAY!!_

_Jasmine Taylor cast as Alexis on FX’s new breakout hit “Exodus.” “Exodus” stars Clarke Griffin as Rachel, Bellamy Blake as David, Jasper…_

_Australian export Clarke Griffin in running for the role of Carol Danvers in the upcoming Marvel production of “Captain Marvel”…_

Lexa scrolled through the accompanying pictures and there were thousands of them. Clarke as her character, Clarke at Comic-Con, Clarke with reporters publicizing her show, Clarke out with her friends, Clarke shopping for groceries, Clarke volunteering at a pre-school. There was her goddess, beautiful and sweet and oh… Lexa clicked on a picture that immediately caught her attention. It was a modeling photo shoot with Clarke on a white couch in a short black skirt that showcased her creamy thighs and a black lace bodice that pushed up her more than ample breasts. Lexa couldn’t help the surge of jealousy that tore though her body. That other people got to see her Clarke, her goddess, like _that_.

Lexa threw the phone down on the couch between them.

“You really didn’t know?”

Lexa shook her head and closed her eyes as she sunk further into the couch. “No.”

“I swear you live under a rock sometimes.” Anya muttered as she picked up her phone and continued scrolling.

“Ahn, you know I don’t have cable, I only have internet for my PS4 and Netflix and I’d much rather read anyways.”

“Oh yeah.” Anya looked up from her phone with a smirk. “Fucking nerd.”

Lexa threw the pillow she was holding at her cousin, hitting Anya with a dull thud.

“Lexa you worked Pride last year, how did you not see her there? She was the Co-Grand Marshall of the parade with George Takei.”

Lexa perked up. “She was?”

“Yes.” Anya answered with a singsong voice.

“I was working Ahn, not there to socialize or check out the Grand Marshalls of the parade.” Lexa huffed. “Wait, George Takei was there too?” Lexa asked and Anya nodded as she continued to scroll.

“Oh man, I love Star Trek.” Lexa whined.

“Sooooo.” Anya asked as she poked Lexa in the thigh with her toe. “Was the sex good?”

“I am _so_ not talking about this with you.” Lexa pulled her hood up over her head trying to hide her smirk, rather unsuccessfully.

“Ahh, Griffin’s got some moves huh?” Anya prodded with her toe again.

Lexa pinched Anya’s toe, causing Anya to hiss and throw the pillow back at Lexa, which she easily deflected. “It was nice, ok?”

“Nice?” Anya asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, it was…nice.” Lexa answered with a smile. “She’s…she’s not like anyone else I’ve ever met. She’s…” Lexa decided that she didn’t want to tell Anya too much, not yet anyways. “Nice.”

“Um, okay, so she’s…nice and the sex was…nice. Very elaborate descriptions there.” Anya laughed.

“Fuck off.” Lexa huffed as she pulled her hoodie down further and pulled the drawstrings tight leaving only the tip of her nose exposed.

“Oh come on Lex, I’m just teasing you. I know it’s been a while since whatshername.”

Lexa sank impossibly further down into the couch, hoping the blue cushions would swallow her whole. “Please don’t mention her.”

Anya sighed, knowing she had crossed a line and said too much. “Sorry.”

After a few minutes of uncomfortable and awkward silence, Lexa pulled her head out of her hoodie. She took a breath as she rubbed at her eyes. “She wants to see me again. She asked me out on a date.”

“She does?” Anya asked and Lexa nodded. “Damn, looks like you’ve got some moves too kid.” Anya added with a laugh.

Lexa exhaled loudly. “Ahn, please. I don’t know what to do here.”

“Ok, ok. Just happy to see you’ve been living up to the Woods name.” Anya smirked again and Lexa huffed. “Do you want to see her again?”

Lexa knew that answer to that question; at least she did an hour ago when she left Clarke’s apartment. Yes, of course she wanted to see her goddess again. She wanted to spend every morning waking up next to Clarke. But she had her doubts, doubts about distance and whether or not a relationship like this could even be feasible. But even with those doubts swirling like a storm in her mind, she knew she had to see Clarke again.

Now those doubts weren’t just swirling, they were raging. Raging like a full on cyclone, with rolling and violent waves crashing up against the inside of Lexa’s skull.

Clarke was and actress, no scratch that, a _famous_ actress. Lexa understood why Clarke wouldn’t volunteer that information to someone she just met in a bar. There had to be an inherent safety risk for Clarke and as a cop, Lexa certainly appreciated that fact. But Clarke could have told her last night or this morning. Certainly maybe before Lexa agreed to a date.

Suddenly the expensive handbag and umbrella and ridiculously amazing apartment made a lot more sense. Lexa internally cursed herself for letting her mind get clouded with lust. Her instincts were better that that. But that painting, that painting that spoke to Lexa. Clarke painted that, at least Lexa assumed that she did and with that information, Lexa just presumed that Clarke’s wealth must have come from her being a very successful artist.

“Lexa?” Anya calling her name pulled her out of her thoughts.

“I don’t know if I want to see her again, I thought I did, but now I… I just don’t know.” Lexa answered honestly.

“You _did_ want to see her?” Anya asked and Lexa nodded. “What changed?”

“What changed?” Lexa guffawed. “Ahn, she’s famous. She’s an actress who is famous enough to be a Grand Marshall at one of the biggest pride parades in the world. With George Takei mind you. _That famous._ ”

“So?” Anya asked like the answer wasn’t glaringly obvious.

Lexa shook her head. “So? Even if there wasn’t the obvious fact that we don’t even live in the same city, or hemisphere for that matter, we don’t even exist in the same universe. She’s a Hollywood actress; she’s fancy parties and red carpet events. I’m a New York cop, I’m dive bars and Monday Night Football.” Lexa sighed sadly. “Women like her don’t end up with women like me.” She shrugged. “They just don’t.”

“Lexa.” Anya said sadly with a disapproving tone and Lexa just could not stand to hear any more.

Lexa got up off the couch and headed towards her bathroom. “I’ve got to shower.” Lexa threw over her shoulder and didn’t even wait for Anya to respond before she closed the door.

She turned the lock on the knob before turning around and sliding down the door. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs. Clarke’s sweet perfume wafted up from her hoodie and Lexa buried her nose in the fabric and took a deep breath.

She was instantly transported back to last night, back to Clarke’s lips on hers, back to Clarke’s naked skin pressed up against her own, back to Clarke sleeping soundly on her chest, her strong arms wrapped tightly around her goddess. Everything about those moments, everything about Clarke felt so right. Felt like home.

But everything was so wrong. As much as Lexa wanted to be mistaken, she was right, girls like Clarke didn’t end up with girls like Lexa. That was just a simple fact. But her heart, her motherfucking fickle heart was already longing to see the dimpled smile of her goddess.

What was she going to do?

  
_*Ding*_

Lexa pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket and looked at her text notification.

 

**Clarke Griffin**

  
**Hey Lexa.**  
**Is it weird that I miss you already?**  
**Lol, probably.**  
**So I have a great date planned for you Yankee.**  
**Are you free tonight?**

 

Lexa stared at her phone like it had the power to worm into her head and find the right answer for her. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, itching to type out a response.

But would that response be a polite refusal or an enthusiastic acceptance of Clarke’s offer?

**Yankee**

**…**


	5. All the Single Ladies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into what Clarke is feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> First of all, let me just say how much I appreciate the comments and kudos. You guys really know how to make a fic writer happy! Thank you all.
> 
> This chapter is a little bit shorter, but it is from Clarke's POV. Just a little glimpse into how she's feeling and some explanation as to why she didn't tell Lexa who she is.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Yankee**

**…**

 

Clarke impatiently stares at the three little dots on her screen, waiting for the reply that she now knew Lexa was typing. Three little dots. Apple’s way of completely fucking with people. Yeah, you are getting a reply, but stare at these three dots until the person you are texting hits send. Or, stare at these three dots until the person decides they don’t want to reply and they delete what they are typing, leaving you breathlessly waiting until you are completely scorned by their abrupt disappearance. Why bother with the three dots at all? Why not just let people reply or ignore without all that pressure? Why Apple? WHY?

The sound of a key in the door shook Clarke from her thoughts as she watched her best friend push through into her apartment. “Hey Rae.” She called out, blue eyes locking back on her screen with laser focus.

“Hey Griff. What’s up?” Raven asked as she dropped her bag on the floor near the front closet.

“Uh, not much. Just waiting for a text.” Clarke replied, eyes never leaving the glowing screen.

“I can see that.” Raven chuckled as she opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. “Fuck boy Finn?”

“What?” Clarke huffed. “God no. That was a mistake. One that was well over a long time ago.”

Raven took a big gulp of from her bottle. “But weren’t you at your place last night?”

“Yes, but just to check up on business, not to hook up with one minute Finn.” Clarke replied, not looking up from her phone.

“One minute?” Raven laughed as she placed her beer down on the kitchen island.

“Worst minute of my life.” Clarke laughed with her, before taking a swig of Raven's beer.

“Well, cross him off the list of possible Ozzie conquests.” Raven chuckled, taking another drink.

“You can do far better than Finn.” Clarke commented, eyes still glued to her phone.

“What about that other bartender, the blonde? Nelly, Nehru, Nora, what was her name?” Raven asked as she fished a bag of chips out of the cupboard.

“Niylah?” Clarke answered and Raven nodded.

“Yeah.” Raven replied. “Her.”

“Single and definitely into the ladies as far as I know.” Clarke answered.

“And on the list she goes.” Raven laughed and Clarke could only shake her head.

“Well since you aren’t rekindling your short lived and now in retrospect, completely unsatisfying romance with One Min Finn, what’s got you glued to your phone?” Raven asked as she stuffed a handful of chips into her mouth.

Clarke placed the phone down on her pristine white countertop. Lexa’s three dots still on the screen, either she was typing out ‘War and Peace’ or she was carefully constructing some sweet and romantic prose, at least that’s what Clarke hoped.

“I met someone.” Clarke admitted to her friend, barely containing her beaming smile.

“At the bar?” Raven asked, chip crumbs flying out of her mouth.

“God you are uncivilized,” Clarke reached into the cupboard behind her and picked up a stack of napkins, placing them in front of Raven. “Yes, at the bar.”

“A guy someone or a girl someone?” Raven asked as she wiped the chip fragments from her lips.

“Her name is Lexa.” Clarke’s smile now nearly blinding.

“Lexa, sounds Greek.” Raven replied before taking another drink.

Clarke chuckled. “No, but she could easily be a Greek Goddess. She’s actually a Yank like you, from New York.”

“No shit?” Raven asked as she eased onto one of the chairs next to the kitchen island.

“No shit.” Clarke replied as she looked back down at her phone, dots still mocking her.

“You came all the way back home to Sydney to find an American girl? Guess all the hot models and gorgeous actresses we see every day in LA must get boring to look at after a while.” Raven smirked.

“As a matter of fact yes, they do.” Clarke opened the fridge and pulled a bottle of frosty beer out for herself, popping off the cap with practiced ease. “I want something more Rae, yeah actresses and models and hell even bartenders are great for a while I guess. Luciana was really great, we got on well. But, even though we stayed together for two years, I knew she just wasn’t the one. Finn was nice, the few months we dated were fine, but we just didn’t connect, you know? I want that connection with someone. I want something real.”

“And this Lexa? You feel that with her?” Raven asked with genuine concern.

“I know it is going to sound crazy, but yes.” Clarke paused for a second, trying to find the right words to verbalize how she was feeling. “There is something about her, something I can’t quite explain, but when I’m with her, I feel like I’ve finally found my place. Do you know what I mean?”

Raven smiled sweetly at her friend. “Yeah I do.”

“Actually, I’m glad you had to go to Melbourne last night.” Clarke stated nervously.

“Wow, you wound me Clarke.” Raven laughed as she dramatically grabbed her chest, feigning some kind of fatal injury. Clarke laughed in spite of herself at her pal’s corny antics.

“Fuck off, you know I love you Rae.” Clarke playfully shoved her friend’s shoulder.

“Well, my Clarkie, if you love me so much, why were you glad I was in Melbourne and not cozied up with your obscenely fuzzy blanket in front of that fireplace last night?” Raven asked as she pointed to the neatly folded and quite fuzzy blanket draped over the back of Clarke’s couch.

“I brought her home.”

Raven shot up from her chair. “You brought her home? The girl from the bar?”

Clarke nodded as she assumed Raven’s seat on the chair. “I did.”

“Dry spell officially over!” Raven bellowed as she held up her hand for Clarke to high five, which Clarke slapped half-heartedly.

“Yes, ok. My sexual dry spell is now over.” Clarke replied somewhat annoyed.

“Clarke that wasn’t a dry spell, it was a barren desert. It was the Mojave of dry spells, the Sahara of sex free landscapes, the Gobi of-”

“I get it Raven.” Clarke interrupted. “Thank you.”

“Speaking of dry, did Lexa pull any cobwebs out of there?” Raven asked with a theatrical eyebrow waggle.

Clarke could only roll her eyes in response. “Ha ha. Funny.”

“Come on Clarke, I’m only messing with you. I mean it has been like what, two years?”

Clarke huffed as she took a drink of her coldie. “Three years, one month. Not that I’m counting.”

“Shit Clarke.” Raven sat down in next to Clarke. “That long?”

Clarke nodded taking another long sip of her beer.

Raven swallowed what was left in her bottle and wandered back to the fridge, fetching two more bottles of beer for her and Clarke. She popped the caps off, tossing them in the trash bin under the sink before placing the fresh bottle of beer in front of Clarke.

“Thanks.” Clarke responded quietly.

“So Lexa?” Raven asked as she took another drink.

Clarke knew just by her friend’s tone what her question was implying. “She’s here on holiday for two weeks.”

“And then?”

Clarke shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“So, you really like her?” Raven asked.

“Yes, I do.” Clarke replied honestly.

“Does she know who you are?” Raven asked, knowing this was a touchy subject for Clarke.

“No. I don’t think she did. She didn’t have that look, the one when you know people know who you are.”

“Did you tell her? Does she know what she might be getting into?” Raven asked.

“Not yet. I wanted to just let us have the night and the morning, you know? It was so nice to not have to put up false pretenses or worry if she was just there because of who I am. I just wanted to enjoy our time together, before she found out… I don’t know.” Clarke admitted honestly.

“Well then what are you going to do?” Raven prodded.

“I asked to see her again, planned out a really romantic date for tonight. I was going to tell her then.” Clarke took another drink as she stared out the sliding glass doors that led to her balcony, watching the trees sway in the light Sydney breeze. The sky was till overcast and gloomy, but the rain had stopped. Clarke hoped the weather would stay as the date she had planned involved outdoor activities.

“And you were cemented to your phone waiting for her response.” Raven stated sympathetically.

“Yes.” Clarke responded reaching over and pressing the home button on her phone. Watching patiently as the device sprung to life before pressing on her messages app.

The three dots had disappeared.

Clarke felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Her fragile heart nearly breaking at Lexa’s apparent rejection. She wrapped her arms tightly around her chest, trying to soothe the painful bubble forming between her ribs.

“She didn’t reply?” Raven asked watching as Clarke tucked her nose into the collar of the white V-neck t-shirt she was wearing and took a deep breath.

“No.” Clarke responded as she sucked in another deep breath of Lexa’s scent.

Raven exhaled loudly, feeling for her pal. “Sorry Clarke.”

“I thought she felt it too. The pull, the connection.” Clarke reached over and took a long draw from her bottle. “I guess not.”

_*All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, now put your hands up!*_

Raven only smirked at Clarke’s text tone.

“Really Rae? Beyonce?” Clarke asked with a crooked eyebrow.

“What?” Raven replied her smirk getting bigger. “Who doesn’t like Queen Bey?”

“Last time I leave you alone with my cellular.” Clarke replied as she picked up her phone.

Her eyes shot open wide.

“She replied.”

“She did?” Raven asked trying to peek over at Clarke’s screen. “What did she say?”

 

**YANKEE**

**Yes.**


	6. First Date Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> I'm so glad to hear all your feedback! I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your comments. Here is part one of the first date. I hope you like it!
> 
> Enjoy.

Lexa hit send on her phone. Her response was one simple word. Yes. Who knew that one three-letter word could be weighted so heavily with anxiety and angst? One word that was opening the door to what could possibly be the biggest heartbreak in Lexa’s life. A heartbreak that she was sure she would never recover from.

But even as she was typing that word, something odd popped into her brain. A feeling. Somewhere in the depths of her pessimistic mind, a tiny little bulb switched on, one little shard of golden light that filled the darkest recesses of her brain with a glimmer of something bright.

It was as she pressed the send button that she realized what it was.

It was _hope_.

Hope that even though the only thoughts she could focus on were the negatives, the nevers and the impossibles, there was that fragment of hope that the maybes could some how chase all those negatives away.

Lexa knew, she knew deep down that it was a foolish thing. Hope. It was something that caused people to make stupid and unfortunate mistakes. Something that drove people to do crazy things. Hope of stardom, hope of success, hope of money, hope of love. She had seen enough in her life to know that very few people, if any, found their happy endings. That was the stuff of fairly tales, not real life.

Yet here she was, saying yes to a date with her Princess Charming.

The beautiful goddess who in fifteen short hours, wormed her way into Lexa’s soul, setting up a beachhead and fortifying her position there even further with every smile and innocent bat of her long dark blonde eyelashes.

It should have been a red flag for Lexa, how easily Clarke moved right in. But it was anything but that. Clarke felt like a comfortable old hoodie that you loved, she felt like a warm fleece blanket on a cold night, she felt like an ice cold beer on a hot day. She felt like every thing good in life. Safety, security, comfort, and well…love.

 _Love_ , that word was something else that should have scared the shit out of Lexa. But she felt it, or something that felt very much like it. Seeds of something big, seeds that were planted in her heart the moment she heard Clarke’s voice. Watered by the feel of Clarke’s lips. Fertilized by the softness of Clarke’s skin. Something beautiful had already taken hold; Lexa knew there was no way of denying that fact. She felt it. She felt its roots spreading out from her heart and anchoring themselves to the walls of her ribcage.

In other words…she was completely fucked.

 

**Clarke Griffin**

**Ok. Yankee.**

**Meet me at 100 Market St. at 1830.**

**Wear something casual and trainers.**

**Oh and come hungry, I’m going to feed you as well!**

**Yankee**

**Alright. I’ll see you then.**

**And btw, I’m always hungry. Lol.**

 

 _Lol?_ What the fuck? Lexa internally cursed herself for being that much of a dork. Do people even use that anymore? Lol? She would have to ask Anya, she was so much better at this that Lexa was.

Lexa carefully put her phone down on the bathroom sink’s wide marble countertop and began stripping off her clothes. She reached over and turned on the walk in shower, waiting until it reached a comfortable temperature before stepping in.

The hot water soothed her skin as she scrubbed her body. The creamy peach body wash assailed her nose with its fresh fragrance. Her thoughts wandered to Clarke, her beautiful Australian goddess. Her sweet smile and the scent of her perfume were permanently etched into Lexa’s brain.

She had her concerns of course about Clarke’s celebrity status. She knew Clarke must have her reasons for not revealing her true occupation. It was a shock, yes. Finding out that Clarke was not only a famous actress, and apparently an LGBT icon as well. There certainly weren’t many out women in Hollywood and from what Lexa could see as she perused the many headlines about her goddess, Clarke was out and proud. Lexa was ashamed that as a gay woman that she wasn’t more up to date on those who were the public face of the LGBT community. She knew she should be more aware, especially as a member of the Gay Officers Action League. She silently berated herself for not knowing who Clarke really was.

Then there was the more pressing issue. Particularly, how Clarke’s celebrity status would affect any kind of relationship they might have. And the distance, of course there was the distance. It wasn’t exactly an easy commute from Queens to Sydney. How would they see each other? Could she really commit to Clarke if she could only be with her a few times a year?

Then there were the doubts. Yes, she felt that slight glimmer of hope, but the doubts were still strong enough to extinguish that tiny light like a tidal wave. Clarke was beautiful and wealthy and successful and famous. How could Lexa ever compete with that? How could she properly woo someone like Clarke?

One doubt loomed larger than the others and it kept playing in her mind.

Women like Clarke didn’t end up with women like her.

Lexa hung her head and let the water cascade down her body. That thought repeating over and over again. She wanted it to work, God she really did. But her mind just wouldn’t let this doubt go.

Lexa finished her shower and slipped out into the bathroom. She quickly dried herself off, and she then wrapped a towel around her body and another around her head before she wandered out into her bedroom. Anya had left a note that she had gone back to her own room to take a nap, a fact that Lexa was silently grateful for. She gathered some clothes from her suitcase and got dressed. She wore a light gray henley and dark blue Levi’s with her black Vans.

She had a few hours to kill until she was going to meet Clarke. She decided on a light lunch in the hotel’s bar before setting out to snap some pictures of the Sydney Opera House.

She spent the next few hours exploring one of Australia’s crown jewels. It was the first thing on her to-see list on this trip and now that she finally got to see it up close and personal she was in awe. She probably took a hundred pictures from all different angles.

She looked down at her watch and noticed it was about an hour and a half until the time she was set to meet Clarke. She headed back to her hotel to freshen up.

Once back in her room, she decided to braid her curls that had frizzed up due to the humid weather. She typically wore her hair in tight braids that were tucked up into a bun for her job so her hands mindlessly went to work, expertly weaving her hair into one long French braid.

She applied a light amount of eyeliner and mascara, just enough to make her green eyes pop. She was never much one for make-up, but she did have a few tricks up her sleeve to accentuate what she considered her best feature. She opted to change into a fresh shirt; a blue and white plaid button down from Banana Republic that Anya had gotten her for Christmas last year. Once she was satisfied that she was completely ready, she ordered an Uber.

Twenty minutes later and right on time, she pulled up to the location Clarke had provided for her. She stepped out of the car and looked up eyes wide and a giddy smile stretching out her cheeks. She was standing in front of the fourth thing on her to-see list, the Sydney Tower.

“Hey.” Her sexy siren’s voice cut straight though the crowd of people lolling about at the tower’s entrance.

Lexa turned involuntarily, her body responding to her goddesses’ sweet and melodic sound. “Hi.”

Clarke was a vision. Her blonde hair expertly styled to seem messy and not too styled. Her make-up perfectly applied and accenting her ocean blue eyes. Tight blue ripped jeans that hugged her curves in all the right spots, a flowing black flannel that was open, revealing a tight white tank top that highlighted all of her very her ample assets, all finished off with a fresh pair of black converse.

Lexa closed the distance between them in a second. “You look-” before she could finish her sentence Clarke’s lips were on hers. Soft, smooth and tasting like just a hint of vanilla. “Beautiful.” Lexa finished once she had finally separated from her goddess.

“Thank you.” Clarke replied before raking her eyes over Lexa’s figure. “As do you.”

Lexa blushed at Clarke’s compliment, knowing that this wouldn’t be the first time tonight her body would betray her in front of Clarke.

“Did you let Anya know you’d be out tonight?” Clarke asked, a playful tone lacing her voice.

“Yes,” Lexa chuckled “I sent her a text. I’m all good.”

“Good.” Clarke whispered as she took Lexa’s hand and led them into the building. The walked though the lobby hand in hand before entering the express elevator that took them swiftly to the upper floors.

Lexa’s eyes opened wide as Clarke led her into the upper lobby. Clarke looked back and could only smile at her Yankee. Lexa was led to the right of the lobby into the room that held the educational exhibitions for the tower. Lexa whipped out her phone with her free hand and took picture after picture as she oohed and ahhed at the displays.

“Clarke, did you know that the Sydney Tower is the second tallest observation tower in the southern hemisphere?” Lexa asked, the excitement in her voice barely contained.

“No, I did not.” Clarke replied, eyes never leaving Lexa.

They wandered around the displays, Lexa getting more and more excited at each new fact she learned. She would have stayed in that room for hours if she didn’t feel the tug of her arm in a new direction.

“C’mon.” Clarke spoke as she pulled her back out towards the lobby. “Let’s get my hungry Yankee fed.”

“Ok.” Lexa followed Clarke.

Clarke led them through the crowd of people in the lobby and over towards an unmarked door. “Isn’t that the restaurant over there?” Lexa asked as she jabbed her thumb into the air over her shoulder.

“It is, but we aren’t eating at the restaurant.” Clarke answered.

“Oh?” Lexa questioned innocently.

Clarke smirked. “Just follow me Yankee.”

Clarke pushed through the door and led Lexa up three flights of stairs before opening another heavy door. Lexa was silently thanking herself for keeping up with her rigorous cardio training all these years.

The door popped open into a glass small vestibule and an older gentleman dressed in a sharp blue suit politely approached the couple. “Good evening ladies.” The man spoke courteously. “If you would please put these on.” He spoke as he handed Clarke and Lexa two royal blue jumpsuits as well as two yellow nylon harnesses. Clarke finally released Lexa’s hand so they could both get dressed.

A few moments later both girls were properly outfitted and ready. The man smiled at them before pushing the glass door open allowing them to go outside.

They were on the top floor of the outside observation deck. A light breeze hit Lexa’s face as Clarke took her hand again and led them out the door. Dusk was starting to fall over the city, the overcast sky breaking here and there, allowing the glowing pink hue of the last licks of sunshine to peek though its puffy barriers.

Clarke led them to the glass floored observation deck. The man in the crisp blue suit replaced by a younger one, dressed similarly to themselves. He attached their safety harnesses to the yellow rail, assuring that strong gust of wind wouldn’t blow them clean over the side which assured them both. They were some 800 feet above the hard concrete of Sydney’s sidewalks, it would be a long drop.

The young man left as soon as he arrived and Clarke and Lexa gazed at the view before them. As the sky grew darker, the lights of the city grew more alive. From here they could see every hidden nook of the bustling metropolis. Lexa was so excited, she couldn’t take it all in. The white peaks of the opera house stood tall against the blue water of the harbor. The arched Sydney Harbor Bridge elegantly crossed the gap between Dawes Point and Milsons Point. It was number two on Lexa’s must-see list, but she had never imagined she would be able to see it like this. Lexa’s eyes scanned every viewpoint and attraction, making mental notes of the buildings and areas she recognized and promising herself to learn more about the ones she didn’t. She felt Clarke’s hand tighten around her own and she moved her gaze from the city skyline to her goddess.

Clarke looked near ethereal in the mix of gray sky and ambient city lights. Her skin positively glowing, her blue eyes alight and sparkling, her smile brighter than any light bulb in Sydney. The beauty of the city below her paled in comparison to the beauty of the woman next to her. Lexa could not stop her body as it moved closer to Clarke, she could not stop her head as it leaned into Clarke’s, she could not stop her lips from finding her goddesses’.

They kissed. Clarke’s hand releasing Lexa’s only to join her other one on the small of Lexa’s back, pulling Lexa impossibly closer. Lexa’s own hands moved to cup the soft skin of Clarke’s rosy cheeks. Their tongues danced slowly and gently, neither in any rush, both wanting to enjoy the feeling and taste of the other.

A polite throat clearing finally pulled them apart. The young man had returned with two glasses of champagne. He handed one to Lexa and the other to Clarke before taking his leave. They clinked glasses before each taking a sip and Lexa blushed at the romantic gesture. She had only had champagne once before at her other cousin’s wedding. She wasn’t a big fan, but she did like the way the bubbles tickled at her tongue, finding the sensation an enjoyably odd one.

But that seemingly odd sensation was soon replaced by one that was nothing but serene as Clarke tucked her body firmly into Lexa’s side. Lexa’s arm instinctively wrapping around Clarke’s shoulder, pulling her further into the warmth of her own body.

This was the stuff all those cheesy rom-com movies were made of.

Yet, here she was, flute of champagne in her left hand and the most beautiful woman she had ever known securely held in her right as they gazed out at the dreamy vista before them.

They stood there silently, enjoying their beverages and the warmth of each other’s company for what seemed like hours, but was only actually about thirty minutes before the older fellow in the blue suit re-appeared.

“Ms. Griffin, your table is ready, follow me.” Clarke smiled at Lexa before extracting her body from Lexa’s side. The man unclipped their harnesses from the safety rail, freeing them from their tether and Clarke immediately took Lexa’s hand before they followed the man back inside to the glass vestibule.

They quickly slipped out of their jumpsuits and harnesses, returning them to the blue suit gentleman who handed them off quickly to another assistant before urging the couple to follow his lead. They moved to another glass enclosed room where a private table for two was waiting. The man helped each of them into their chairs before quickly leaving, closing the door behind him.

Clarke reached over and took Lexa’s hand. “Do you like our date so far?” she asked hopefully.

“I do.” Lexa reached over and took Clarke’s other hand. She dropped her head, her brain suddenly overcome by her one nagging doubt.

“What is it?” Clarke asked in a soft voice, instantly detecting the change in Lexa’s mood.

Lexa took a deep breath before picking her head up and gazing into the blue eyes she has quickly come to adore. “Clarke, anything I do, it can’t compare with this. I mean, I do okay financially, for a cop at least. But there is no way I can offer you private dinners and once in a lifetime experiences. I want to properly court you, I do. But I just can’t…I just can’t compete with your money.”

Clarke shook her head at Lexa’s words. “Its…no Lexa, I am not trying to…” Clarke sighed softly as she squeezed Lexa’s hands. “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel inadequate, not at all. I just wanted to take you out on a memorable first date and I have a few friends here who I called in some overdue favors with. I would never want to make this some kind of competition between us. Never. I know that I will love any date that you plan. I just…” Clarke sucked in a breath, seemingly steadying her nerves before she spoke again. “I just want to be with _you_ , no matter where we are or what we do.”

And there it was, that tiny little light, glimmering in the caverns of Lexa’s brain, considerately lit for her by her goddess.

_Fucking hope._

It was something else that should have set off all kinds of alarms for Lexa, how easily Clarke eased her fears and doubts. How soothing the touch of Clarke’s skin felt as she comforted Lexa. It was like Clarke swaddled her up in a big fuzzy blanket and rocked her like a baby.

Yes, Lexa was completely fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW the Gay Officers Action League is a real thing. Some info if you all are interested. 
> 
> http://www.goalny.org/mission-statement


	7. The First Date Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the first date from Clarke's pov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute. I know, I know. There are really no excuses. I just haven't been able to get motivated to sit down and write. I also just wanted to let you know that I do read all of your comments and I adore your the feedback. I hope to get another chapter out sometime next week, but please don't hate me if I don't. Holidays and all. You know how it is. 
> 
> For my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving!
> 
> Enjoy!

Clarke watched as Lexa’s furrowed brow smoothed out, her anxiety seemingly soothed by Clarke’s more than honest words. Clarke could understand Lexa’s concerns, she certainly had her own. Lexa lived in New York; Clarke lived in LA, part of the year anyways. Other parts of the year she filmed her show on location in Toronto or she was off in different locales filming movies. When she wasn’t doing that she was here at home or visiting the friends she had made all over the world. Those facts alone made her wonder how they would be able to make any kind of relationship work; she hadn’t even considered that Lexa might take issue with their disproportionate financial circumstances.

But she _did_ , and Clarke internally kicked herself for not recognizing what could be another potential roadblock for whatever this was between them, whatever she hoped would be between them. Her feelings came on for Lexa hard and fast, far faster than they had for anyone else before and it should have frightened her, but it was quite the opposite. There was something about this green-eyed cop that called to Clarke, something that settled her own nerves, something that quieted the anxiety that swirled in her mind, something that brought peace to her soul.

She squeezed Lexa’s hands, which elicited a sweet smile from her Yankee, one wide enough to show the little crease above her top lip. That sweet smile that could light up this whole town. That smile that entranced and bewitched Clarke like no other.

Oh, Clarke was _so_ fucked.

The waitress came over to greet them, placing a glass of ice water with a lemon slice in front of both before handing the women menus and making her way to the other side of the private room. They both seemed hesitant to pull their hands away from each other’s, but both were definitely hungry and needed eat. Clarke was also silently grateful there were no prices listed on the menus.

“I checked ahead, they have vedgie dished for you.” Clarke spoke as she eyed her menu.

“Thank you Clarke.” Lexa replied as she looked at her own menu. “Oh this pumpkin soup looks quite good.”

“There’s a chickpea panisse that’s supposed to be very delicious. Highly recommended.” Clarke offered as she looked over her choices.

“Um,” Lexa leaned in closer to whisper to Clarke so as not to have the waitress hear her words. “What’s a panisse?”

Clarke looked up at Lexa and smiled. Her nose scrunched up in an adorable little crease as she awkwardly asked her question. God, this woman.

“It’s basically a chickpea fritter, sort of like fried polenta.” Clarke whispered back and watched as Lexa’s face relaxed at the more familiar words in her explanation.

“Oh, ok. That does sound good.” Lexa turned back to the waitress who made her return to the table. “I think I’ll have the chickpea panisse and the pumpkin soup.” Lexa requested politely.

“Very good.” The waitress then turned to Clarke “And you Ms. Griffin?”

Clarke looked down at her menu again before looking up at Lexa. “I didn’t even ask if it bothers you for other people to eat meat in front of you?”

Lexa shook her head. “No, its fine, doesn’t bother me at all. Order whatever you like.”

Clarke smiled and turned back to the waitress. “Ok, then I’ll have beef carpaccio to start and then the salmon for my entree. Thank you.” Clarke spoke as she politely handed the menu back to the waitress.

“So.” Clarke smiled as Lexa reached for her hand again.

“So.” Lexa smiled as their skin re-connected.

“There is um… something else I wanted to talk to you about.” Clarke spoke softly, hoping to ease Lexa’s nerves even further.

“Oh?” Lexa asked with a shy smile.

“Yes.” Clarke cleared her throat nervously.

How do you tell someone that you’re famous?

“I…well when I told you I was an artist, there was more to it than that. I mean I do paint and draw and other stuff, and I’ve enjoyed some modest success with that but it’s not the only thing I do.”

Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hands even tighter. “I know Clarke.”

Clarke’s eyes went wide. “You know?”

Lexa gently squeezed her hands again. “Yes.”

“Did you know last night?” Clarke asked suddenly nervous to hear Lexa’s answer.

“No, not at all.” Lexa reassured her frayed nerves with one sentence. “I actually didn’t find out until I went back to my hotel and told Anya your name. She’s a big fan by the way.” Lexa added with a chuckle and Clarke instantly relaxed.

“How do you feel about that?” Clarke asked.

"Anya being a fan? I mean, she might ask you for a photo for her Instagram, maybe an autograph, if that’s ok. Is that ok? I mean if its weird I can tell her to piss off. But she will still probably hound you. Or you could just tell her to piss off because she probably would just ignore me if I told her to do that anyways. She has no concept of personal space or privacy in any capacity.” Lexa was rambling on and Clarke couldn’t help but smile at her.

"Lexa.” Clarke spoke softly and stopped the stream of verbal diarrhea that was spilling freely from Lexa’s mouth.

“Oh shit, I was rambling wasn’t I?” Lexa asked sheepishly. “I do that sometimes.”

Clarke chuckled softly. If Lexa only knew the struggle going on within Clarke’s body. How she was attempting to keep her behind firmly planted in her seat on her side of the table. How hard it was for her to not jump up and grab Lexa by her soft and beautiful cheeks before pulling her in and kissing those pouty rambling lips.

Clarke blinked her thoughts away before she spoke. "It ok, kinda adorable actually.” Lexa blushed as she shyly looked down at her plate. “But I actually meant how do you feel about me… I mean, well you know…me being a celebrity?”

“Honestly?” Lexa looked back up and asked as Clarke nodded. “It threw me for a loop. I just attributed the nice apartment and the expensive handbag and umbrella to you being a successful artist or maybe even some family money. It didn’t even occur to me that you could be famous. And then…” Lexa took a deep breath as she looked down again at her empty plate. “I kind of felt like an asshole for not knowing who you are. Anya told me you were Co-Grand Marshall at Pride in New York last year and I worked Pride last year and still didn’t know who you were. I’m actually really ashamed of myself for not being up on these kind of things.”

Clarke expected many different answers to fall from Lexa’s mouth. That was the one she didn’t expect.

“Lexa, you don’t have any reason to be upset with yourself. I’m glad you didn’t know. Me…being and actress, being famous, is only a part of who I am. I mean…it’s a considerable part to be sure, but it’s not all.” Clarke replied with a genuine smile.

Lexa shook her head. “I… part of what I do with my job is to be an advocate for LGBT officers and to be a liaison within the LGBT community, a good portion of which I see on a near daily basis. I’m supposed to be aware of what’s going on and who they look to for support. For younger kids it’s the celebrities, the singers and actors and actresses that they follow on social media. I used to be so in the loop.” Lexa chuckled. “When did I get so old?”

“Old?” Clarke laughed. “What are you 22, 23?”

Lexa smiled. “Just turned 26, three weeks ago.”

“I never would have guessed.” Clarke spoke with her sultriest voice and batted her eyes in an attempt to be flirtatious. By the reappearing blush on Lexa’s cheeks she knew it was working. “But yes, after 25 you are officially out of the loop.”

Lexa laughed heartily and Clarke’s insides warmed at the sound. Clarke was falling in love with her laugh, hell, with every sound that spilled from Lexa’s plump lips.

“And you?” Lexa leaned in closer, close enough for Clarke to catch a whiff of her sweet and sexy smell. What was that? Peaches? Her shampoo maybe? Clarke tried not to be too obvious as she breathed in deep. “Officially out of the loop?”

“By two years I’m afraid. The kids call me Granny.” Clarke chuckled and Lexa laughed with her, once again the adorable crease between her top lip and the bottom of her nose present and Clarke couldn’t help but feel her heart flutter wildly at the sight.

The waitress brought their appetizers and Clarke watched as Lexa took her first spoonful of pumpkin soup. Lexa’s eyes closed in pleasure as the velvety liquid hit her tongue and Clarke could only silently congratulate herself for finding the right place to take Lexa to dinner. She smiled as she popped her own delectable appetizer into her mouth.

“Oh my god Clarke, this soup.” Lexa moaned sinfully as she took another spoonful.

“Good?” Clarke asked with a smile.

“So good.” Lexa closed her eyes again in pleasure as she took another spoonful.

Dinner was even more successful that the appetizer. Clarke’s salmon was buttery flaky and melt in your mouth tender and Lexa raved about the chickpea panisse claiming it was one of the best thing she had ever eaten in her life, aside from the pumpkin soup that is (and the veggie burger from Clarke’s bar.)

  
They ordered dessert, healthy diets be damned. Clarke got the baked granny smith apple tart with a pistachio crumble, blackberry gel and cinnamon ice cream. Lexa got the flourless chocolate cake with salted caramel drizzle and hazelnut ice cream. When the food arrived they were both eager to share. Lexa offered a spoonful of her cake without hesitation, bringing the delicious treat to Clarke’s lips and smiling brightly when Clarke took a bite. Clarke moaned, the cake was heavenly, the caramel buttery and smooth. She almost regretted ordering her own dessert until she brought a spoonful to Lexa’s lips and watched with her own smile as Lexa’s tongue darted out to take a taste of the apple tart. Clarke suddenly wanted to be that apple tart as Lexa seductively wrapped her lips around the spoon as she took the dessert into her mouth and then licked the spoon clean. Clarke suddenly felt herself becoming uncomfortably turned on and was sure her mouth had never been so dry before. She reached for her glass and took a long gulp of her water.

  
No further words were spoken as they both consumed the rich and decadent dishes. Both of them could only manage to moan at the sinful deliciousness that was dessert.

  
After dessert was finished, they sat for a while, letting their food digest as they conversed easily with each other. Clarke loved that there was never any uncomfortable awkwardness between them. Each conversation peeled back another layer, revealing a little bit more to each other. Lexa told Clarke about how she broke her left arm trying to learn how to rollerblade when she was nine and how she had insisted that her cast be covered in a cute little koala bear print. It was pink and Lexa hated the color pink, but she just had to have the koala print on her cast.  


Clarke’s heart broke a little when Lexa told her how the kids at school made fun of her for it and how they called her a ‘baby’ because she had koala bears on her arm. She imagined a little Lexa with her bright eyes and wild curls. Her skinny little frame trying its best to accommodate her adorable pink koala cast on her left arm as she proudly navigated the hallways of her elementary school. In Clarke’s mind she couldn’t imagine anyone not finding Lexa completely adorable. Yet clearly, her classmates did not. Lexa shrugged it off, saying it was just kids being kids, but Clarke wanted to track each one of them down and give them a piece of her mind for ever hurting her Lexa.

_Her_ Lexa. When the hell did that happen?

  
Clarke didn’t have a chance to let that thought linger before the waitress returned and asked if they needed anything else. Both women agreed that they were more than full and Clarke watched as Lexa presumably began reaching for her wallet.

  
“It’s on me Lexa.” Clarke reached her hand over and stopped Lexa before she could pull her wallet the rest of the way out of her jeans. Clarke also silently thanked herself for having the foresight to have the entire experience and dinner charged to her credit card this afternoon as she made the arrangements for their date.

  
Lexa frowned as she left her wallet in her pants and flattened her palms out on the table. “Clarke, I can’t let you do that.”

  
“Lexa.” Clarke looked directly into those sparkling emerald eyes. “I understand that this was far more than you were expecting, but I asked you out on this date. I should pay.”

  
Clarke could see Lexa’s jaw tighten as she pressed her palms further into the tabletop. It was glaringly obvious that Lexa was uncomfortable with this arrangement. Clarke watched as Lexa subtly moved it back and forth as she looked to be visibly chewing on her thoughts and emotions.

  
“Ok.” Lexa finally broke her silence. Clarke let out a nervous breath she had been holding in, worried that she may have in some way offended Lexa by offering to pay.

  
“But…” Clarke gulped at that one ominous word.

  
Lexa moved her right palm from the table and held it out, offering her hand for Clarke to shake. “I must insist on paying for the next two dates. Deal?”

  
Clarke was sure she could play the Joker in the next ‘Justice League’ movie because she knew her smile was obnoxiously large and that she looked psychotically homicidal as her cheeks ached with the stretch of her beaming grin at the promise of Lexa offering the opportunity for _two_ more dates.

  
Her hand was across the table, firmly shaking Lexa’s before her own brain even recognized that an appropriate social response was required.

  
“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am also a vejjo, like Lexa in this fic, and I get asked often if it's ok for other people to eat meat in front of me. I'm personally fine with it, but I know some people are not. Just a personal preference I guess. I also will usually get asked a load of questions about it and I enjoy engaging with people in this way. 
> 
> But it is such a funny thing, what we eat, some people are so regimented about their diets. They will eat McDonalds every day but balk at quinoa like I was offering them a bowl full of arsenic. Some people wonder straight up how I am even still alive because I don't eat a steak every day. And then I have had a few hardcore meat eaters try vegan food and admit begrudgingly that they like it. At least they try it. 
> 
> People are weird. Lol.


	8. The Afterparty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa's date continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter is a bit longer than what I usually post but, I know I've made you wait a bit for an update. Hope this makes up for the wait. Also, there is smut at the end and it got away from me a little bit, so the rating has been changed to explicit. I wanted to keep this fic a little bit classy, but that seemingly went right out the window. What are ya gonna do?
> 
> Enjoy!

Lexa and Clarke left the Sydney Tower hand in hand. The rain was holding off for the time being and both were contentedly enjoying each other’s company. Clarke slid her hand into Lexa’s the minute they had left the restaurant. Lexa was more than happy that Clarke had no aversion to displays of public affection nor did she have any qualms about taking the initiative in expressing said affection. Some people might say that Clarke was bordering on clingy, but Lexa had no problem with Clarke’s forwardness. It was, after all, Clarke’s directness that brought them together in the first place.

Lexa smiled at the memory of being tangled up with Clarke in her huge bed, the smell of Clarke’s skin still somehow lingering in her nose. Maybe it was because she currently had Clarke pressed firmly against her side as they navigated the city streets, Chanel No. 5 wafting from the woman beside her every time a slight breeze blew around them.

She had no idea where Clarke was leading her but it didn’t matter.

She would follow her anywhere.

God, she was _so, so, so_ _fucked_.

“What are you thinking about?” Clarke asked and pulled Lexa from her thoughts, as she pressed even closer against her, Clarke untangling their hands before her arm snaked quickly around Lexa’s waist.

Lexa looked over at the woman on her right, her living goddess and her smile stretched even wider. “You.” She replied honestly as her own arm slid easily around Clarke’s shoulder.

“Me?” Clarke asked almost innocently. “Hmm, if just thinking about me now makes you smile like that, I can’t wait to see you later on.”

Lexa’s smile faded as her brow knotted in confusion. “What’s going to happen later on?”

Clarke stopped, bringing their walk to a halt as she pulled Lexa fully into her arms. “You are so fucking adorable.” She whispered as she quickly pecked Lexa’s lips. Lexa’s face still held a solemn frown as she looked at Clarke. Clarke smile was reassuring, but Lexa still felt her nerves rapidly become unsettled, causing her stomach to tighten anxiously in anticipation of Clarke’s next words. She watched helplessly as Clarke leaned in and kissed her cheek, then her earlobe before barely whispering out the next sentence.

“You’re going to get lucky.”

Lexa felt her face heat up, surely now blushing embarrassingly. She wasn’t sure if it was Clarke’s sexy siren voice in her ear, or her close proximity, or the promise of things to come, but Lexa felt the heat of her blush everywhere, even places she knew should not even be possible to be blushing and before she knew it her cheeks were stretched again in an obnoxious grin. One that she knew would not be leaving her face any time soon.

Clarke only smirked at her affect on Lexa as she hooked her arm and led her down the sidewalk.

“Come on Yankee, I need a coldie.”

They walked for about twenty minutes, arms comfortably resuming their previous positions around waist and shoulders, fingertips relishing the feel of warm skin beneath cotton fabric. The walk was slow, neither in any hurry, both sharing sweet and flirtatious glances while filling the slight space between them with small talk before arriving at the familiar destination.

Lexa felt a nervous churn in her stomach at being back at the place where a mere 24 hours ago the course of her life (irrevocably) changed.

Surly’s was as busy as you’d expect it to be on a Friday night. There was a throng of young professional types, suit jackets removed, ties loosened, sleeves rolled up hovering en masse near the pool tables to the far right of the entrance. The clinking of beer mugs and celebratory alpha male howling alerting everyone in the bar to a skillfully sunk ball in a corner pocket.

Lexa felt herself being pulled thought the crowd as Clarke expertly navigated her way to the bar and hopped up on a barstool, pulling Lexa over to the unoccupied one beside her. Lexa followed Clarke’s lead and hopped up on the stool as Clarke watched with a sly smile on her lips.

Finn, the charmingly handsome man with the boyish smile and unintelligible Australian accent appeared in front of them in seconds. Clarke picked up the drink menu and Lexa watched as Finn’s eyes dipped to Clarke’s cleavage while she was distracted perusing the list of options. Lexa’s own eyes narrowed as she observed the bartender unashamedly ogle Clarke’s ample assets.

Lexa was seething. Her fists clenched into tight balls and she wanted nothing more than to drag Finn out back by the scruff of his neck and teach him some manners. She wasn’t sure what made her more angry, the fact that some men just presumed that because a woman decided to show some skin it was ok to publicly eye-fuck them. Or maybe it was the fact that Clarke knew Finn, that he seemed to be a friend to Clarke that made his actions seem even more creepier. Maybe it was the fact that Lexa didn’t like the kind of attention that he was paying to her… whatever Clarke was to her.

No she _definitely_ didn’t like that.

“Excuse me.” Lexa spoke and it came out laced with more anger than she had intended. “Phil is it?” She asked, hoping her glare was at least somewhat menacing as Finn begrudgingly removed his eyes from Clarke’s breasts and focused them on Lexa.

“It’s Finn.” He replied dumbly as he pointed to his nametag.

“Of course it is.” Lexa had to bite back the flood of expletives that were on the tip of her tongue.

Lexa then noticed Clarke watching their exchange from the corner of her eye.

“Finn, could you please get me an IPA, whatever you have on tap is fine. And for you?” Lexa asked as she turned to Clarke, her gaze softening at the look of utter confusion on Clarke’s face.

“Uh, margarita on the rocks, easy on the salt.” Clarke replied as she turned to address Finn.

“Sure Clarke.” Finn nodded with a near lecherous grin as he walked off to get their drinks. Lexa scowled at his retreating form.

Soft fingertips wrapping around her clenched fist pulled her attention away from Finn and back on the goddess next to her.

“Are you ok?” Clarke’s brow was furrowed in concern; but the touch of her skin was welcome and calming.

Lexa exhaled as she slowly unwound her fingers, fanning them out in a stretch to release the pent up muscle tension before tangling them easily with Clarke’s.

“Yeah. I’m…” Lexa debated telling Clarke what had happened, not wanting to ruin whatever friendship Clarke had with Finn. She looked into the ocean blue eyes staring back at her, the ocean she wanted to drown in.

She decided right then and there that while she was with Clarke, for however long or short their time may be, that she would _never_ lie to her and that she would _never_ allow her to be treated so disrespectfully. To be treated like she was nothing more than a piece of meat on display in a butcher’s case.

“He was staring at you, while you were looking at the drink menu.”

“Staring at me?” Clarke asked as she turned her body fully towards Lexa, her knees slotting between Lexa’s legs, her free hand resting on top of a denim clad thigh, her simple touch igniting a fire deep within Lexa’s belly.

“He was staring at your… you know.” Lexa let her eyes drop down for a second hoping that Clarke would understand.

“My what?” Clarke asked confused as she looked down at herself. Lexa knew the second Clarke realized what she was inferring.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Clarke’s head whipped around looking for Finn, her blue eyes fixed with laser focus on the back of his head, nearly burning a hole clean through his skull.

Lexa gently squeezed Clarke’s hand, pulling her attention back to Lexa. “I’m sorry.” She offered remorsefully, as if it were _her_ place to apologize for _his_ horrendous behavior.

She honestly just didn’t know what else to say.

Clarke shook her head. “No, it’s… well its not ok, but I’m glad you said something.”

Lexa huffed, her frustration at the situation combining firmly with her still simmering anger. But it was the sting of her jealousy that came to the forefront, moving her lips, confessing things she wasn’t sure she, let alone Clarke was ready to hear. “He wasn’t even trying to be subtle. The way he was looking at you-” She shook her head.

“I didn’t like it.”

Clarke slid off the barstool, pulling Lexa up off her own stool before leading her once again through the crowd of people. The got to the end of the bar and Clarke reached behind the wood partition that separated the bar from the patrons and grabbed a bottle of caramel vodka before yanking Lexa by the arm again down a long hallway. They passed by both of the restrooms and through the various men and women lingering about before moving through a door that led to a stairway.

“Clarke wait.” Things were happening far too quickly and Lexa had to stop to catch her breath, literally and figuratively. She was also mentally assessing how the tiny woman in front of her nearly pulled her arm clean off as she dragged her though the sea of people in the bar. Clarke stood on the first step, now looming several inches over her, one hand tangled with Lexa’s, the other firmly wrapped around the handle of the bottle of vodka she just swiped.

“I’m a cop and you just stole that bottle of vodka.” Lexa whispered, her free hand pointing to the bottle of spirits.

Clarke only smirked. It was a dirty and devilish smirk that held the promise of something far too filthy for Lexa’s very vanilla imagination.

“Are you going to arrest me officer?” Clarke husked out. Eyelids fluttering as she ran the tip of her tongue over her glossy pink lips.

Lexa gulped as she squeaked out a weak. “Maybe.”

“Too bad you don’t have your handcuffs.” Clarke smirked again before leaning down and pressing a wet kiss to Lexa’s lips.

Lexa was getting whiplash at how quickly the tide of events had turned.

She was also getting incredibly turned on.

She chased after Clarke’s lips and deepened the kiss, turning her head in time with Clarke’s, her tongue sliding easily into Clarke’s mouth. Clarke’s tongue was like velvet, her mouth warm an inviting. Lexa loved the way Clarke kissed. She didn’t try to force her tongue down her throat or slobber all over her. She let Lexa kiss her back.

Just as Lexa was moving to wrap her free arm around Clarke’s waist, Clarke was gone. Lexa opened her eyes to see a giggling blonde taking the stairs two at a time. As soon as she reached the top she threw a seductive glance over her shoulder.

“Your suspect is fleeing officer, aren’t you going to give chase?”

_Fuck._

Before Lexa could answer, Clarke made a hard right turn and disappeared. Lexa bounded up the steps, again thankful for her rigid cardio regiment at the gym. She got to the top of the steps with just enough time to see a large wooden door marked “Office” closing. She smiled as she tentatively grabbed the knob and gave it a turn.

She stepped into a well-appointed office. It was a decent size as far as offices go, maybe 10'x14' with a dark wood desk in the center and a small seating area to the left. To the right were a stack of filing cabinets as well as a printer and some other office type paraphernalia. Behind the desk was what Lexa assumed to be a wall of floor to ceiling length windows covered in now closed full-length black curtains.

The deep brown leather chair behind the desk swirled around. The woman in the chair slowly removing the cap from the vodka bottle as she propped her feet up on the desk.

“Lock the door.”

Lexa did as she was asked, turning the deadbolt securely on the door, even giving it a slight tug to make sure it was actually locked.

“Theft and now breaking and entering. Not how I saw this evening going.” Lexa spoke with a laugh.

Clarke took a long gulp of the sweet caramel liquid. “Come here.” She crooked her finger and like a moth to a flame Lexa immediately closed the distance between them. As soon as Lexa was close enough, Clarke grabbed a handful of her button down and pulled her in for a kiss. Lexa could taste the caramel on her lips and tongue and _Jesus_ if Clarke didn’t taste good before, now she tasted like candy and ice cream and carnal sin all rolled into one.

Clarke broke the kiss first, replacing her lips with the rim of the bottle. Lexa took a long drink of the liquid; it was good, not as good as when she tasted it on Clarke, but good nonetheless. “You know I can get fired for this right?” Lexa asked seriously.

Clarke laughed as she stood up and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck. “Lexa, I own this bar.”

“What?” Lexa asked dumbfounded.

“I.” Kiss. “Own.” Kiss. “This.” Kiss. “Bar.” Kiss.

Lexa frowned against Clarke’s lips. _That_ thought popped up again, cutting through the cloud of her sexual desire. The nagging doubt that she wasn’t good enough for Clarke. She had just promised herself that she would never lie to Clarke and she fully intended to keep that promise, but she also knew she shouldn’t forward anything this significant, this deep, not yet. She stamped down that doubt, pushing it away for another time.

She pulled Clarke even closer to her and kissed her again. “So I guess I won’t have to turn you in to the local authorities?”

“Hmm. Fraid not.” Clarke chuckled. “Though I’m not opposed to you trying out some of those various interrogation techniques you've been bragging about.” Clarke waggled her eyebrows as she pushed Lexa down into the leather desk chair. She leaned over Lexa and Lexa felt her stomach clench at Clarke’s nearness. Soft lips pressed against the sensitive skin of her neck and she closed her eyes and relished the feeling. Her senses were overloaded with all things Clarke. Her smell, her touch, the heat emanating from her body, her fingers which were now deftly unbuttoning Lexa’s shirt, her taste which still lingered on Lexa’s lips, the slight little moans that Lexa felt more than heard. Lexa felt like she was being buried alive under a mountain of Clarke.

And just like on the steps, Clarke suddenly pulled away and Lexa was left confused and now thanks to Clarke, somewhat exposed. Lexa opened her eyes only to find Clarke sliding her flannel off her shoulders. Lexa watched silently as the black garment fell to the floor. Lexa’s heart was hammering so hard against her chest, Lexa was sure Clarke could actually see it through her skin.

Lexa watched as Clarke’s fingers moved to her waist, she heard the button un-pop on Clarke’s jeans. She gulped as she watched nimble limbs slide the ripped denim down silky smooth skin. Clarke slid her shoes off and stepped out of the jeans pooled around her feet, leaving her in nothing but her white tank and white panties that were clearly stained with her arousal.

Lexa’s knuckles gripped the arm of the chair as Clarke slipped the tank top over her head and dropped it on the floor with her jeans. Lexa’s eyes remained fixed on Clarke’s, not wanting to objectify Clarke or be the creep that Finn was only minutes before.

“Lexa, you’re allowed to look.” Clarke stalked towards Lexa like a lioness toying with her prey. “I _want_ you to look.”

Lexa let her eyes dart quickly over Clarke’s form. Her full breasts were spilling out of the top of her white lace bra. Her stomach flat yet soft, her arms toned but not overly muscled, her legs shapely and smooth, all of her soft edges concealing Clarke’s hidden strength.

Clarke straddled Lexa, settling on her lap with ease. Clarke slid Lexa’s shirt off her shoulders, leaving Lexa only in her white Calvin Klein sports bra. Clarke set to work on Lexa’s neck, sucking and kissing at Lexa’s skin. Lexa tipped her head back against the headrest of the chair, letting Clarke have whatever access she wanted, her hands slid around Clarke’s waist. Her palms roaming over the soft skin of Clarke’s lower back and ribcage, before dipping down and cupping Clarke’s perfect ass.

Clarke kissed her collarbones and the place where her neck meets her shoulder, before attacking the underside of her jaw and then back over to her ear. Clarke’s touch was electric. Every kiss and nip was full of lust and want, but also tinged with something more, something floating there just under the surface waiting to break through. Something that pulled at Lexa so deeply, like her soul was a string and all Clarke had to do was give it a slight tug to completely unravel her very mortal existence.

Clarke’s lips reclaimed her own. Clarke took her time kissing Lexa’s full lips, making sure every centimeter of the delicate skin was thoroughly lavished with her attention. Clarke also slowly began to grind against Lexa’s lap, her lace panties rubbing against Lexa’s jean clad crotch. Lexa’s hands encouraged the movement, helping Clarke rock into her even harder. Clarke kissed her deeply, her hand resting lightly on the side of Lexa’s throat.

Lexa leaned forward, the temptation of Clarke’s freckled shoulders too much to resist. She captured Clarke’s skin with her lips, lightly sucking and nipping. The low moans coming from Clarke’s lips telling her that she was hitting the right spots. Clarke pulled her head close, encouraging her on as Lexa moved down to a collarbone, gently biting the salty skin before moving to Clarke’s chest, kissing and licking just above Clarke’s breasts.

“Mark me.” Clarke husked.

Lexa stopped and looked up at Clarke. “The next time Finn looks, if we don’t gouge his eyes out first,” Clarke chuckled and so did Lexa. “I want him to see. I want him to know that these-” Clarke cupped her boobs as she spoke. “Belong to someone else.” Clarke reached for Lexa’s hands and placed the over her breasts. “Belong to _you_.”

“Clarke.” Lexa whispered. It was the only word she could formulate in her brain, the only word she could command her mouth to speak. The thought of Clarke wanting her to mark her skin, wanting fuckhead Finn to know that she was claimed, that some part of her _belonged_ to Lexa, was enough to send Lexa’s brain into synaptic overdrive. The only thing Lexa could do was plant her flag.

Lexa’s lips collided with Clarke’s chest. Every ounce of her being was screaming at her, to suck and bite into Clarke’s skin, to leave proof that she was there, proof that someone like Clarke Griffin had allowed someone like Lexa Woods to make love to her. Lexa pulled back and admired her work, the dark red spot above Clarke’s left breast, the purple blooming under the surrounding skin, her claim on her goddess’s body.

Clarke’s lips crashed into Lexa’s, her hips grinding down more firmly into Lexa’s lap and as much as Lexa wanted Clarke to cum, she also wanted to slow this down a bit and take her time to worship Clarke as she should be worshipped. Lexa’s head dropped down, lips kissing at Clarke’s jaw, then down her neck, making sure to suckle at her more sensitive spots. Her hands resumed their position under Clarke’s ass, kneading at the firm flesh there. Lexa moved back to Clarke’s breasts mouthing at her nipples through the fabric of her bra. Clarke’s head dropped back, her hands once again on the back of Lexa’s head, holding her close.

Lexa’s hands slid up Clarke’s sides, one reaching around back to unhook the bra and the other trailed up her shoulder, sliding the strap down Clarke’s shoulder, revealing the milky white skin and pink nipple beneath. Lexa’s tongue darted out and gave the nipple a tentative lick and in response, Clarke arched her back and pushed the stiff bud into Lexa’s mouth. Lexa kissed at the sensitive nipple, tongue rolling around the whole areola before grazing her teeth over the bud. Clarke’s fingertips scratched lightly at the back of Lexa’s neck encouraging her on. Lexa quickly moved to her other breast, stopping only to discard Clarke’s bra somewhere on the floor.

“Lexa.” Clarke moaned as Lexa reattached her lips to Clarke’s other unattended nipple. Clarke’s voice was so low, so sultry, so seductive, that Lexa was sure not only her underwear, but now also her pants were completely ruined.

Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheeks and pushed her back against the chair. Her lips kissed at Lexa’s jaw and the side of her mouth before capturing Lexa’s. Clarke once again worked her way down Lexa’s neck, her hands sliding over the cotton of Lexa’s bra. Her fingertips rubbed at Lexa’s nipples, giving them a slight pinch before sliding underneath the band of her bra. Lexa moaned as Clarke’s palms came in contact with her over stimulated and sensitive skin.

Lexa raised her arms as Clarke quickly removed her bra, tossing it over her shoulder. Lexa could only laugh at Clarke’s penchant for throwing things. Her laugh was quickly cut short as Clarke attacked her now bare breasts. Clarke’s lips and hands were seemingly everywhere at once, biting and pinching at Lexa’s small nipples, palming the flesh of her breasts, every touch quickly flaming the fire that was raging deep within Lexa.

Lexa’s hands had wandered to Clarke’s rib cage, tickling at the skin there before moving down to Clarke’s hips. Clarke was still lightly grinding against Lexa and Lexa wanted nothing more than to feel first hand the wetness that Clarke was now spreading all over her pants. Lexa dipped her right hand into Clarke’s panties and Clarke let out a surprised moan.

Clarke was beyond wet, she was _flooded_. Lexa danced her fingertips lightly over Clarke’s folds, tracing the outline of her labia before slightly dipping in to gather some wetness. Lexa then moved her fingers up to Clarke’s very engorged clit.

“Fuuuck.” Clarke groaned as Lexa moved in tight circles over the sensitive nub. Lexa was having difficulty concentrating as Clarke resumed her work on Lexa’s boobs.

“I need you inside.” Clarke whispered against Lexa’s skin.

Lexa would never be able to deny Clarke anything and so she lined up two of her fingers at Clarke’s entrance and Clarke impatiently sunk down on them, bottoming out quickly. Clarke was warm and soft and fit around her perfectly.

“Oh God baby.” Clarke whimpered as she rested her hands on Lexa’s shoulders.

_Baby?_ Lexa’s whole body shivered at the term of endearment spilling so effortlessly from Clarke’s lips. She never knew how much one simple word could be laden with so much implication, so much potential. Lexa just wasn’t sure if it was potential for heartbreak or potential for this to be the greatest thing that ever happened to her.

Clarke leaned in and bumped noses with Lexa, she rose up slightly before dropping back down on Lexa’s fingers. Her mouth open, her breath coming in short gasps. Lexa dropped her head back down to Clarke’s neck, gently kissing there before Clarke pulled her in even closer as she began to ride her.

“You feel so good.” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear as she kissed her lobe, then her neck.

“So do you.” Lexa whispered back as she began peppering Clarke’s shoulder and neck with soft kisses. Lexa used her thumb to simultaneously rub Clarke’s clit as Clarke found her pace.

Clarke’s hands tightly gripped Lexa’s already slightly bruised shoulders as she held on. Lexa was distracted by Clarke’s movements, her stomach muscles clenched as she watched Clarke’s boobs bounce up and down with her rhythm. She couldn’t help but to latch on to the one closest to her mouth.

“Fuck baby.” Clarke whimpered. “Fuck.”

Lexa sucked on Clarke’s nipple till it was red and puckered before letting it go. She cold already tell Clarke was close, her thighs quivered as her hips began faltering in their pace. She could feel Clarke’s velvety walls clenching around her every thrust, sucking her in deeper and deeper.

Clarke’s speed picked up and Lexa rubbed her clit up and down with her thumb once, twice then Clarke froze, she threw her head back as her entire body seized briefly before letting out the loudest and sexiest noise Lexa had ever heard. Clarke’s body then shook as the rest of her orgasm rolled though her.

Lexa held Clarke through her aftershocks while slowly withdrawing her fingers. The urge to taste Clarke was nearly overpowering, but Lexa only pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder before looking up at her. Clarke’s chest was flushed and heaving, eyes closed tightly in bliss, back arched, lips turning up with the slightest of smiles, skin slick with a light sheen of sweat.

She was so beautiful, so ethereal, she was so many other words that Lexa couldn’t even think of. Lexa’s felt her heart flutter at the sight before her, so new but seemingly familiar, like she had already spent a thousand lifetimes with Clarke, like she was certain she would spend another thousand lifetimes with her. They had known each other for only one day in this lifetime and something deep within Lexa already just knew that Clarke was it for her. Call it fate or destiny or whatever people call things like this.

Lexa couldn’t help the tears that welled up in her eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” Lexa whispered.

Clarke opened her eyes and looked back down at Lexa. “Oh Lexa.” She whispered as she leaned in and kissed each of her eyes, causing the tears to spill from Lexa’s closed lids.

“You feel it, right?”

Lexa nodded. “Yes.”

“It not just sex?” Clarke asked hopefully. “It not for me…just sex. It’s something…well I don’t know what it is, but it’s not just sex. Tell me you feel it too.”

“I do feel it too Clarke, I’ve never felt anything like this before in my life. I mean it’s crazy right? We’ve only known each other for a day. Isn’t it supposed to take longer to feel like this? Aren’t we supposed to date for months before feeling this way?”

“I don’t know.” Clarke shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Or.” Clarke eyes shimmered with her optimism. “Maybe this is love at first sight, maybe this is soul mates finally finding each other.”

“Do you believe that?” Lexa asked, her own voice filled with optimism while her hands rested nervously on Clarke’s hips.

“I didn’t.” Clarke shook her head. “But then yesterday, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen walked into my bar and I took one look at her, and I just knew she was going to ruin me in the best way imaginable for anyone else.”

Lexa chuckled. “Same. I saw you and I knew I was fucked.”

Clarke laughed, “I was thinking the same thing today, that I’m so fucked.”

“So what do we do?” Lexa questioned.

“Right now?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded. “We finish what we started.”

Lexa chuckled as Clarke pulled her in for another deep kiss.

Oh, they were both _fucked_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn's a shitbag. What a surprise.


	9. Exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning. Smut. Anya meets her idol. People know. Consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to write a sex scene, it just sorta happened. Light angst at the end, but have no fear Clexa is always endgame.
> 
> (FYI. Need to sleep but AMC is running a FTWD marathon. Hopefully I'll have some sweet Alycia dreams tonight.)
> 
> Enjoy.

Lexa rolled over on her side, or well, at least she tried to. There was a lightly snoring blonde currently draped over her shoulders holding her down against the bed.

Lexa smiled as she remembered the series of events that led her to this moment, in her hotel room, trapped under Clarke. One arm wrapped firmly around her waist in an almost possessive manor, as if Clarke was afraid someone might sneak into this room and try to steal her away.

Lexa’s smile quickly faded as her left arm began burning with pins and needles from being trapped awkwardly under her chest. It was well on its way to becoming completely numb. She wiggled under the weight of Clarke’s suddenly very heavy body, trying to slide her arm free.

“Stop moving.” A breathy voice mumbled out against Lexa’s skin in the most perfect Australian accent as the grip around Lexa’s waist squeezed a little tighter.

“Clarke, my arm is going numb.” Lexa whispered.

“Mnnn.” Clarke grumbled as she begrudgingly removed her body from Lexa’s. Lexa missed her warmth immediately, but appreciated regaining the feeling in her arm a little bit more, for the moment.

“Thank you.” Lexa replied as she rolled over onto her side and shook out the numbness from her arm. Finally moving fully onto her back after she began to feel her fingers and hand again. She looked over to the goddess next to her, the white bed sheet pooling around Clarke’s waist, exposing her bare chest to Lexa’s gaze. Lexa let her eyes wander respectfully, taking in all of the sights. Clarke’s creamy white skin, blemished only by a smattering of light freckles on her shoulders caught her line of sight first, her eyes then drifted down. Lexa’s eyes widened as she looked over the very large, very purple mouth shaped bruise above Clarke’s left breast.

Lexa sucked in a quick breath at the sight of her mark on Clarke’s body. The one Clarke _asked_ her to put there. Clarke would have to wear a turtleneck to hide that bruise.

Lexa let her eyes wander up to Clarke’s elegant neck and throat, thankful that she was in control of herself enough to not litter the sensitive skin there with any more bruises. Her eyes then moved to Clarke’s dimpled chin, then her full lips, lips that barely held a faint trace of Clarke’s red lipstick from the night before. Lexa touched her own lips, silently wondering how much of that lipstick was currently staining the skin there.

Her eyes wandered further up, catching the deep blue pools that were watching her with amused interest. “See something you like Yankee?” Clarke asked, her voice deep and sleep laden.

“I see many things I like.” Lexa answered with a smirk as she rolled on top of Clarke, her hips slipping between her goddess’s as she dropped her head and began to kiss the skin she was previously admiring.

“Lexa.” Clarke whispered as Lexa sucked gently at salty skin, nipping at Clarke’s pulse point before drifting back up and capturing her lips. Morning breath long forgotten.

Clarke’s hips bucked up into Lexa’s and Lexa could already feel Clarke’s wetness mingling with her own. Lexa slid against Clarke’s core, producing a downright dirty moan from the blonde beneath her. Lexa opened her legs a little further trying to maneuver her body into the best position for what she had in mind and in the process, moving Clarke’s legs further apart as well. Satisfied with her positioning, Lexa gave a tentative slide once again over Clarke’s now wide-open center. Clarke’s back arched and her fingertips dug into Lexa’s very bruised shoulders. (Clarke really liked to hang on to Lexa’s shoulders during sex.) Lexa didn’t really mind the pain; she was just pleased that Clarke seemed to like what she was doing.

Lexa had only tried this a few times before and only one attempt ended (somewhat) successfully. She was determined to make this work, to make Clarke feel good, to be able to be face to face, chest to chest, hip to hip with Clarke as she brought her to release.

Lexa propped her upper body up, hands planted on either side of Clarke’s waist to give her better leverage. She rolled her hips into Clarke satisfied that both of them more than slick enough to build up all the delicious friction Lexa should muster.

“Holy fuck!” Clarke cried out as her blunt fingernails dug deeper into Lexa’s skin. Lexa smirked at the goddess beneath her as she rolled her hips again, generating more friction right where they both needed it. She continued to move her hips and found her rhythm, as did Clarke who met Lexa’s body with her own on each pass.

“Baby.” Clarke whispered as she pulled Lexa’s face down for a deep kiss, temporarily stopping Lexa’s hips before freeing her again and allowing her to resume. Clarke’s hands wandered down the expanse of Lexa’s bare back, fingertips trailing lightly over the flexing muscles and tendons as Lexa continued her slow but deep thrusting.

Lexa looked down at Clarke as she poured every ounce of her unspoken feelings into her movements. Clarke was biting her plump lower lip, her eyes heavy and lidded with pleasure, but firmly focused on Lexa’s. Every time their bodies connected, every place that their skin touched, Lexa felt a pleasant hum, a joined electrical current of desire and emotion that ran freely between them, it was overwhelming and simultaneously not enough. Lexa was convinced that she could never have enough of this, she could never have enough of _Clarke_.

Lexa’s rhythm faltered for a second as she hit a particularly pleasurable spot that had her nearly coming instantaneously. Clarke took the opportunity to pull Lexa down and flush with her own body. There they lay as Lexa tried to catch her breath and hold off her own orgasm. Face to face, hip to hip, heart to heart. Clarke’s eyes still holding her own as she gently canted her hips up into Lexa, encouraging her to move.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s torso, using her for leverage as she aligned her hips to this new angle and slid against her again. Clarke’s eyes closed in pleasure only for a solitary second before reopening and reconnecting again with Lexa’s. Their noses bumped as Lexa continued her slow but deep pace, the space between them nearly non-existent as they both panted and gasped with the same shared air. Clarke wrapped her hands around the back of Lexa’s neck, her fingers clutching at the fine hair and delicate skin there. Lexa knew she couldn’t last much longer and she knew from the tell-tale signs of Clarke’s body that neither could she.

The arch of her back, the tightening of her stomach muscles, the bobbing of her throat, the little high pitched noises that tumble from her lips without pause, the way she clings to Lexa like she is the only life preserver in the middle of the ocean. All the signs Lexa has quickly learned from their brief time together that signal Clarke’s imminent undoing.

Clarke’s body froze as her mouth formed a perfect “o” shape as she came, eyes never breaking away from Lexa’s. Lexa’s face mimicked Clarke’s own as she watched her goddess come undone. Her orgasm, so close before she edged back, now barreled through her like a freight train. Every nerve in her body alight with pleasure as she looked deep into the eyes of the woman beneath her.

They kept eye contact as they both came down. Their breathing, rough and haggard, soon evened out as Clarke held Lexa tight against her, clearly not willing to let this moment end. Clarke’s eyes were wide and glassy. Filled with unspoken words, words seemingly trapped on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t have to say any of them… Lexa understood.

Lexa needed to break the heavy and loaded silence.

“Kiss me.”

Clarke closed her eyes and erased the miniscule gap between them. Plush lips met Lexa’s parched ones. The kiss was soft and loving and laden with the purest of intentions. Once their lips parted, Lexa immediately buried her face in Clarke’s neck. She couldn’t look Clarke in the eyes anymore, she knew that if she did, the dam that contained her emotions would break under the weight of Clarke’s intense gaze. She wasn’t ready for _those_ words; the words she inherently understood but knew remained unsaid, left resting easily on Clarke’s tongue.

She stayed in Clarke’s gentle embrace, feeling her flesh pucker with goosebumps as the artist’s skilled hands painted landscapes on her naked skin. She pressed soft kisses to the column of Clarke’s throat, hoping they could express everything she couldn’t say.

They both agreed this was more than just sex. And it was. It was so much more than simple carnal pleasure. Lexa knew in her heart that it was, she knew that Clarke was her person. The person she has been waiting her whole life to find.

But she was scared.

Terrified really.

She has had her heart broken before. No, not broken, straight up fucking _obliterated._

She barely recovered from that. Maybe recovered was a strong word.

She barely _survived._

But here she was, lying in the arms of her goddess, her _person_. This awareness was a revelation to Lexa. She didn’t deal well with her feelings, well feelings in general. It was hard to let her walls down, to really let people in, especially after _her._ Lingering self doubts mixed with her fear, threatening to dissolve the bubble of contentment that they were both enjoying. Clarke held her a little tighter, seemingly aware that was exactly what Lexa needed.

“You ok?” Clarke asked as she pressed a kiss to Lexa’s forehead.

Lexa nodded. “Just thinking about…stuff.”

Clarke kissed her forehead again. “I’ve been thinking too. We need to talk about how all of this works for us. How we make this work. I mean,” Clarke hesitated as she tried to backtrack. “If that’s what you want.”

Lexa nuzzled further into Clarke’s neck. “Is that what you want?”

She felt Clarke gulp before she gave a reply. “I…yes. I don’t want this to end when you go home. I know its crazy, I mean, it _is_ crazy. There are so many things going against us. But…” Lexa felt Clarke take in a deep breath beneath her. “I want to try.”

Lexa picked her head up, Clarke’s glassy eyes now spilled over with tears. “Do you?”

Before Lexa could answer a loud knock on the door startled them both. “ROOM SERVICE!”

Lexa looked down at Clarke “I didn’t order room service, did you?”

“No.” Clarke shook her head.

Lexa removed herself from Clarke, quietly throwing on a robe. Another loud knock had her reflexes on edge. Her gut was telling her that something was off. She looked over at Clarke who had pulled the sheet up over her body. “Stay here.” She whispered quietly as she closed the bedroom door and made her way to the front door. Her police training kicked in as she slid her back against the wall and eased over to the doorknob, her movement instinctual, her body ready to take on whatever threat was on the other side of that door.

She put her eye to the peephole hesitantly.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Lexa whipped the door open only to find Anya giggling like an idiot at her own lame form of comedic hijinks.

“You should have seen your face Lex, priceless.” Anya wheezed out between laughs.

“Yes you’re a regular fucking Tina Fey Ahn.” Lexa huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest before leaning against the open door.

“Ahh come on, it was funny.” Anya prodded as she passed her cousin, stepping fully into the room.

“Ha. Ha.” Lexa replied, her tone serious, before faltering to her usual somewhat cheerful self. “What’s up?”

“Well I half expected you to be wrapped up in a blonde actress right now, not stuck here alone in your bed.”

Lexa moved to stand in front of Anya, blocking her access to the bedroom door. She wasn’t ready for Clarke to meet the family, not until she could figure out how to contain the virtual shit storm of embarrassment that was her favorite cousin. “I decided to sleep in a little bit, it is my vacation after all.”

“Sure Jan.” Anya replied.

“Oh its far too early to Brady Bunch Movie me Ahn.” Lexa replied. She needed to get Anya out of her suite, right now. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

“Lexa its noon.”

“It is?”

“Yes. I was coming to see if you wanted to grab some lunch.”

“Oh, um.”

Lexa was so distracted by trying to think of a proper excuse and how to execute the only phase of Operation ‘Get Anya The Hell Out Of Here’ that she didn’t even notice the bedroom door open.

“Lexa. Is everything alright?” Clarke asked, now clothed in her own robe.

“Oh my God!” Anya stammered. “You’re her. Rachel, well not Rachel, no, but Clarke Griffin, _THE_ Clarke Griffin.” Anya shifted her weight back and forth on the balls of her feet like a child waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. “Holy shit, Clarke Griffin is here in my little cousin’s hotel room! Lexa, its Clarke Griffin.”

Lexa snorted in exasperation. “Yes I know.”

Clarke’s huge smile beamed at Lexa as she moved to her side and slid an arm around Lexa’s waist. “It ok Lexa.” Clarke extended her hand to shake Anya’s “Hello Anya, it is a pleasure to finally put a face to the name.” Clarke held her hand out as Anya started dumbly at the appendage.

Clarke raised her eyebrows and made a gesture with her eyes to her extended hand. Anya seemed to collect herself for a second and enthusiastically grabbed Clarke’s hand, shaking it hard.

“The pleasure is all mine.” Anya replied with a huge grin plastered all over her face.

Lexa watched the awkward exchange. “Uh, ok, well this isn’t weird at all.”

“Clarke would you like to join us for lunch?” Anya asked still shaking Clarke’s hand.

“I’d love to!, But I probably should um…” Clarke looked down at her robe clad body.

“Oh right.” Anya replied as she finally pulled her hand back, freeing Clarke’s now aching appendage. “You guys.” She pointed at the both of them. “Sex.”

Lexa recoiled in pure mortification at her cousin’s behavior. “Jesus Christ Anya!” She shout-whispered through gritted teeth.

Anya looked surprisingly at Lexa as she shrugged her shoulders. “What?”

Lexa grabbed Anya by her shirt and turned her around, pushing her towards the front door. “Ok we will go to lunch with you, just please let us get showered. We will meet you in thirty. Ok?” Lexa asked as she opened the door.

“Really?” Anya asked.

“Yes.” Lexa answered as she closed the door on Anya.

“Thirty minutes! I’ll be in the lobby!”

Lexa leaned against the closed door as she spied Clarke approaching her. “I am so sorry about her.”

“Lexa it’s fine, really.” Clarke reassured her. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

Lexa wondered for the first time how Clarke dealt with her fame. Wondered if Anya was the typical reaction that Clarke usually got. Wondered just how much experience she’s had dealing with rabid fans. She handled Anya with ease and grace which in Lexa’s own experience was far from easy to do.

Lexa was impressed.

“I’m happy to meet her, she’s obviously important to you. I want to get to know her. Are you alright with that?” Clarke asked before pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

Lexa felt her heart skip a few beats in even further veneration for the woman in front of her.

“Yes.” All of Lexa’s reservations about Clarke meeting her family faded away with the next kiss pressed to her lips. Clarke could easily handle Tropical Shitstorm Anya.

“I’m going to hop in the shower.” Clarke tugged at the lapels of Lexa’s robe before sliding her hands down and untying the knotted belt around Lexa’s waist, letting the robe fall open. “Join me?”

Lexa gulped. “We won’t be ready in thirty if we shower together.”

Clarke chuckled. “Oh Lexa.” She leaned close to Lexa’s ear. “I’ll have you coming in two minutes…flat.”

Lexa closed her eyes. “Fuck.”

The sudden ringing of Lexa’s cell phone distracted her from the very sexy blonde who was now literally disrobing in front of her. “You get that. I’ll get the shower started.” Clarke nipped at her ear before turning and sexily sauntering off towards Lexa’s bathroom.

Lexa cursed again as she searched the room for her pants that Clarke had thrown somewhere.

She found her jeans near the window and pulled her phone out of her pocket answering it quickly when she saw the area code for New York. “Hello?”

“Woods.”

Lexa gulped as she heard her boss address her. “Captain Porter.”

“Why did I open the Daily News this morning to find your ugly mug plastered on Page 6?” Captain Porter asked, the sarcasm in her tone was not lost on Lexa.

“I don’t know Ma’am.” Lexa answered sheepishly.

“Let me enlighten you Woods.” Captain Porter spoke in a clipped manner. Lexa could hear the newspaper rusting in the background. “And I quote ‘ _Exodus'_ star Clarke Griffin was seen in a posh local pub _canoodling_ with an unknown brunette. Griffin was observed in a compromising position with said brunette in a stairwell before the two disappeared. Griffin and the brunette reappeared a good ninety minutes later looking rather disheveled. Who is Griffin’s mystery lady? Stay tuned.’ End quote.”

The phone line stayed silent save for the further rustling of the newspaper as Lexa assumed that Captain Porter was rearranging it on her desk.

“Canoodling Woods? Really?”

“Captain, I uh…” Lexa really couldn’t think of any logical response to the open-ended question of _canoodling._

“Woods, you do know that any type of public attention that involves one of our officers is a matter for review.” Captain Porter offered calmly. “This must be reported to the Office of Public Affairs, the Personnel Bureau and the Risk Management Bureau.”

Lexa exhaled, she had never even had a memo of reprimand during her career, let alone be put up for review for possible misconduct. Her hand tightened around the phone as her stomach instantaneously dropped to the floor.

“Captain, its not… I can explain, well I can’t really, its, well you see, I am uh…”

“Woods. Stops stammering. Its unbecoming.” Porter interrupted.

“Yes Captain.” Lexa replied, her shoulders sagging with a new found weight.

“Personnel tells me you are back in eleven days. Is that correct?” Porter asked.

“Yes Ma’am.” Lexa responded.

“First order of business when you are stateside is to get your butt into this office, do you understand Woods?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Lexa answered quickly, knowing that it was an order, not a suggestion.

The resounding click of the phone signaled to Lexa that Captain Porter was not dispensing with any pleasantries today. Lexa pulled the phone away from her ear and looked down blankly at the dimming screen.

“Lexa?” Clarke’s voice called from the bathroom. “I need someone to wash my back.” Her tone was filled to the brim with flirtatious innuendo. Any other time Lexa would have run to Clarke like the sailor to the siren’s call. But now, she found her feet fixed to their place on the floor.

“Babe?” Clarke called for her again, the term of affection rolling so easily off her tongue. Lexa was envious at how comfortable Clarke was with the term, with the expression of her emotions. Lexa couldn’t even begin to sort though her own. How she felt for Clarke was evident, that much she knew, she just wasn’t at the same level of comfort with her feelings that Clarke was. For the Woods clan, feelings were only to be suppressed, things didn’t get discussed, didn’t get dealt with, they only got smashed down and buried deep. It was profoundly unhealthy, but this was their way.

Now she was overcome with a deluge of them, messy and huge and fucking overwhelming. She could potentially lose the one thing in her life that up until two days ago was certainly the most important thing in her life, all because of the beautiful blonde tornado that had barreled into her world and threw her heart around like a mobile home. Picking it up in a whirlwind and carrying it along her cloudy skies before gently placing it back down next to her own. Setting up a comfy little place for them to happily co-exist. Together.

What the fuck even happened?

Lexa worked for years, _years_ to get where she was. She didn’t have the luxury of having the family name or history that some of her peers had. She kept her head down and her nose clean and busted her ass to get through the academy. She worked her way through the ranks to even apply for her current job. She spent weeks preparing for the exam, acing it easily, she then spent the next few months praying that her good reputation and excellent work ethic would push her ahead of the other better-connected candidates.

Thankfully, it all paid off.

NYPD Patrolman Lexa Woods became NYPD Mounted Police Officer Lexa Woods.

Her job was prestigious, specialized, unique and very well suited to Lexa’s particular skill set. She couldn’t be more proud of all she had accomplished. She fondly remembered the sunny June day she graduated from her three-month training program at the Remount School of Horsemanship. Anya and her Aunt Jackie watching on proudly as Lexa accepted the exclusive uniform patch that designated her as one of the very few and very elite mounted officers.

Lexa knew if she was formally reprimanded for her conduct, her _canoodling_ as Captain Porter was so quick to point out, conduct that could potentially embarrass her and the other members of her unit, let alone the rest of the department. Her career as a mounted officer would be over.

Everything she had worked so hard for would be gone.

Lexa didn’t hear Clarke call for her again, she didn’t hear the shower turn off, she didn’t hear the padding of wet feet across the marble floor. She didn’t hear the ruffling of a large towel begin wrapped around a naked body. She didn’t feel the steam thicken the air as the bathroom door opened. The only thing she felt was the damp arms wrapping around her waist and the chin nestling on her shoulder.

“Baby? Are you ok?” Clarke asked, her voice soft, soothing and calm. Somehow sensing Lexa’s distress from inside the shower.

Lexa cleared her throat. “I uh…that was my boss. She saw…pictures.”

“Of us.” Clarke responded and Lexa nodded. “I saw them, they tagged me. My phone blew up overnight with the notifications, Instagram, Twitter, they’re everywhere.”

“Someone at the pub.” Clarke further explained even though Lexa knew, of course, that someone there took the pictures and published them. “I thought we would have a chance to talk about this after lunch. I didn’t think it would effect you so quickly.”

Lexa gripped her phone tighter, her anger and frustration bubbling under the surface. She was annoyed with the circumstance and the situation, she was livid at the person who intruded upon a very private moment and plastered the pictures of that moment all over social media. The one person she wasn’t angry with was Clarke, she knew this wasn’t Clarke’s fault.

It was hers.

Lexa pulled away from Clarke’s embrace. She turned around, her open robe swaying with her movement, revealing her long forgotten nakedness to Clarke.

“My boss, my Captain is putting me up for review for this.” Lexa spat out angrily, Clarke took a tentative step forward before changing her mind and stepping back, sitting down on the bed.

“What does that mean, review?” Clarke asked calmly.

“It means.” Lexa huffed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stave of the headache that was currently forming over her eyes and in her temples as she paced frantically back and forth. “It means that I could be formally reprimanded for my conduct. Possibly even lose my job.”

Clarke adjusted the towel around her breasts as she waited patiently for Lexa to continue.

“I…my being seen with you, in a compromising position like that, put out there for everyone to see, its…thankfully they haven’t figured who I am. Never have I been more grateful that I don’t have any social media. But if people do figure it out, who I am, what I do.” Lexa trailed off. She looked at Clarke, her eyes were bright and sympathetic, but her posture was shrunken and withdrawn.

“I never meant for this to happen.” Clarke whispered as she looked down at her lap.

Lexa stopped her pacing and sat next to Clarke, her arm moving protectively around Clarke’s shoulder as she pulled her in close. “No. It’s not your fault Clarke.”

“It is Lexa. If you were with someone else. Someone not so fucking visible, people wouldn’t care what you did in the backroom of a pub.”

Clarke stood up, removing her towel while grabbing for her clothes. “I should go.”

“No Clarke, wait.” Lexa’s hand wrapped gently around Clarke’s bicep. “You don’t have to leave.”

Clarke shook Lexa’s hand free and resumed dressing. Lexa didn’t say anything else.

She couldn’t.

And before she knew it, the beautiful whirlwind that was Clarke Griffin was gone.

Lexa slumped down on the bed. That tiny bit of lingering hope, that little light in her brain, slowly dimming by the second.

What the fuck happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand if this comes off like Lexa is all over the place, because she is. She's human, she and Clarke both have hang-ups and quirks like we all do. Have faith. They'll get it together.


	10. Past, Present and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke talk. Lexa's romantic past is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> A new chapter for you. Lexa and Clarke talk and get things settled,the angst for the most part is over. 
> 
> I know it's taking a while to get chapters out. For some reason, I really struggled with this one. I'm going to try to update more regularly. Also tags have been updated. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“What do you mean she left?” Anya asked bewildered, still out of breath from her run back to the room after Lexa had texted her.

“I mean she just got up and left.” Lexa replied.

Anya scoffed. “You didn’t stop her?”

“I tried. She said she had to go.” Lexa replied her head heavy in her hands as she sat cross-legged on the bed.

Anya exhaled as she looked at her forlorn cousin. She moved to sit next to her and placed her arm compassionately around her shoulder. “Hey, it’s going to be ok.”

  
“It’s not. She blames herself.” Lexa sagged visibly, her head down and resting in her hands as she stared at her lap.

  
“And you blame yourself Lex.” Anya sighed. “I know you do, but it’s not your fault, either of you.”

  
“No. I mean I don’t blame Clarke for this. I knew what I was potentially getting into here, I just thought we’d have more time to figure shit out, to figure _us_ out. I didn’t think that two days after meeting her I’d be at risk of losing my job.” Lexa shook her head. “I don’t know what to do.”

Anya pulled Lexa in and Lexa rested her head on Anya’s shoulder. “She asked me if I wanted to try, to really try to make this work.”

  
“What did you say?” Anya asked.

  
“I didn’t get a chance to answer her, some asshole knocked on the door and shouted ‘Room Service!’”

  
Anya sighed, her tone apologetic. “Shit Lexa, I’m so sorry.”

  
Lexa picked her head up. “It’s alright, I don’t think I could have given her an answer anyways. Not the one she wanted at least.”

  
Anya squinted at her. “What do you mean? I thought you liked her and wanted to keep seeing her.”

  
“I do like her. It terrifies me how much I like her. I think... I think I might love her.” Lexa admitted.

  
Anya let Lexa go and sat back on the bad, her arms supporting her weight as she looked at Lexa. “Wow.”

  
“I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but Ahn, you know me, you know this isn’t something I take lightly, and those aren’t words I throw around easily. Not after _her_.” Lexa pleaded with her cousin to understand.

  
“No, believe me, I know that Lexa.” Anya smiled. “If you’re saying this about Clarke, if you’re saying that you might love her. I know you mean it.”

  
Lexa rubbed her temples. “I thought she was going to say it this morning, she had this look, God Ahn, she wanted to say it, I know she did. But I saw that look and I freaked out.”

  
“Why?”

  
“I’m not sure. I mean I felt it with her right away, there was just something, you know? And it didn’t scare me then, how easily she just got in my head. I started feeling things I’ve never felt before and it all was just so easy, being with her is so easy. But today, we had-“ Lexa paused as she looked at Anya, not sure just exactly how much she should reveal, but ultimately just decided to forgo dancing around the topic of her sex life. “We had sex this morning and it was… the feelings were just so fucking powerful, so raw. I have never felt so connected to anyone before, never so in sync with another person yet at the same time never so unburdened, so free. I felt like I would just float away if she didn’t hang on to me. It was… intense.”

  
“When she asked me if I wanted to try.” Lexa shook her head. “I got so overwhelmed by everything. I just panicked.”

  
“And you haven’t spoken to her since?” Anya asked.

  
Lexa shook her head. “No.”

  
Lexa pulled her leg up into her chest and protectively wrapped her arms tightly around them, as if the physical barrier could keep her heart from breaking. “What to I do Anya?”

  
“Well, first off. Don’t worry about your possible reprimand. I’ll take care of that.” Anya spoke with measured confidence.

  
Lexa shook her head again. “Ahn, I can’t ask you to do that.”

  
Anya refused to hear Lexa’s reasoning. “You’re not asking. I’m telling you. I will represent you and we will get this taken care of. No argument Lexa. I’ll help you with Captain Porter. I’m not going to let you lose your job. Porter has no right to come at you like this; they don’t even know that it’s you in those pictures with Clarke. I know Porter is by the book and normally, I would respect the hell out of that, but not when she comes for my baby cousin. Not when she comes for you when you are potentially starting something real with a woman you might love. I’m not going to let you lose Clarke or your job over this. No way.”

  
Lexa just sat in awe of her cousin. “You would really do that for me? For me and Clarke?”

  
“Of course. Lex, I would do anything for you, for your happiness. I know we Woods aren’t good with our emotions, but I already told you, you’re the little sister I never had, you mean the world to me kid. I’m not letting you go down without a fight.”

  
Lexa’s eyes glossed over in unshed tears. “Ahn.” The tears fell.

  
“C’mere.” Anya opened her arms and Lexa fell into her embrace. Lexa fisted her hands around the fabric of Anya shirt and proceeded to ball her eyes out for the next ten minutes. Anya reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a heap of tissues, handing them to Lexa as she needed them. Lexa collected her emotions after about twenty minutes, her eyes beet red and bloodshot, her nose just as red from wiping her snot away. When her breath finally calmed enough to utter out a complete sentence, she picked up her head and looked at Anya.

  
“What’s the second part?” Lexa asked, her voice unsteady.

  
“What are you talking about?” Anya replied.

  
Lexa separated from Anya, moving back to her cross-legged position on the mattress. “You said that taking care of my review was first.” Anya nodded in agreement and Lexa continued. “So what’s the second part?”

  
Anya smiled. “Go talk to your girl.”

  
***

  
Lexa took an Uber to Clarke’s apartment building and marched right into the lobby. Clarke wasn’t answering any of the texts Lexa had sent her and Lexa silently prayed that she hadn’t already fucked everything up.

  
She convinced to doorman to let her in, reminding herself to have a talk with Clarke about proper security protocols. She snuck in the elevator without having to swipe a keycard and just politely asked a person in the elevator to give her access to the penthouse floor. Each security breech left a horrible image in her mind of just how easy it would be for a fan or even a stalker to be able to get to Clarke.

  
Lexa knocked on the door to Clarke’s penthouse with a light rap. She had been practicing what she wanted to say on the way over here. Anya gave her a pep talk and told her to just be honest with Clarke, tell her why she’s so afraid of her feelings, why she had her doubts, why she hesitated this morning, why she let Clarke walk out the door. Lexa knew that Anya was right, honesty was always best.

  
Lexa heard footsteps approach the door and took a deep breath to ready herself to speak with Clarke. To her surprise, it wasn’t Clarke that opened the door.

  
“Yes?” A dark haired Latino woman with an American accent answered the door, Clarke’s door. Lexa took a step back and looked at the number that hung on the wall next to the doorframe, she had the right penthouse. She cleared her throat.

  
“Um, yes. Hi. I’d like to speak to Clarke if she is available. Please.” Lexa asked politely.

  
Something appeared to click in the woman’s mind and Lexa could see how her demeanor immediately changed. “Wait, are you Lexa?”

  
Lexa gulped. “Yes.”

  
She could see the fire ignite behind the woman’s eyes. “You have some fucking nerve showing up here.”

  
Lexa put her hands up defensively as the woman inched closer. “Please let me explain.”

  
“Explain? Explain!?” Lexa could sense the pure venom in the woman’s voice. “Ok, sure. Explain to me why I’ve been holding my best friend as she cried her eyes out for the last hour.” The woman inched closer and Lexa began stepping back to give her some space. “Explain to me why she’s told me you just let her leave.” The woman moved even closer, backing Lexa into the wall behind her. “Explain to me why, I shouldn’t just kick your ass right out of here.” Not many people had the ability to physically intimidate Lexa, her police training and her natural ability to project her physicality, to make herself seem larger than she appeared, often left people giving her rather a wide berth. But this woman, this woman scared the _shit_ out of her.

  
“Let her in Raven.”

  
Lexa looked over the woman’s, Raven’s, shoulder to see Clarke standing in the doorframe. Her shoulders sagged, her eyes cast downward but red rimmed and bloodshot, her hair still sleep mussed, her voice gravely and broken from crying.

  
Even now, she was the most beautiful woman Lexa had ever seen.

  
Raven kept her eyes firmly on Lexa, clearly scrutinizing her every move. “You sure Clarke?” she asked.

  
“Yeah, can you give us a few?” Clarke asked.

  
“Sure. I’m going to go get some coffee.” Raven replied, eyes still on Lexa. She pointed two fingers at her eyes and then pointed them back at Lexa, giving her the universal ‘I’m watching you’ gesture before hitting the button for the elevator and stepping in. As soon as the door to the elevator close, Lexa felt an awkward silence fall over them.

  
Clarke pushed the door to her apartment open and walked back in.

  
Lexa took it as an invitation and followed, closing the door securely behind her.

  
She was still as in awe of Clarke’s apartment as she was the first time she was here, but her eyes could only follow Clarke’s dejected form to the plush couch in her living room.

  
The couch they first had sex on.

  
Clarke sat down on one side, pulling her legs into her torso and wrapping her arms around her chest before she pulled the fuzzy blanket over her frame. Lexa recognized her body language. It was a position she had been in herself only an hour earlier, it was one of defense, one meant to make her body small, one meant to protect her vital organs from injury.

  
Including her heart.

  
Clarke, who had spent the morning staring deep into her eyes, now wouldn’t even try to make eye contact with Lexa. Lexa knew she had to make the first move; she sat down on the opposite end of the couch, giving Clarke all the space she needed before she spoke.  
Lexa folded her hands in her lap and looked down at them. “I’m sorry Clarke.”

  
From the corner of her eye, Lexa could see Clarke pick her head up and look her over. “Why are you sorry?”

  
“Because I let you leave this morning. Because I didn’t explain myself properly. Because I was upset about my job and didn’t talk to you. Because I promised myself that I would never lie to you and never let you be treated disrespectfully and then I did this.” Lexa looked up at Clarke, their eyes meeting for the first time since they made love only hours ago. “I’m so sorry Clarke.”

  
Clarke let her body unfurl as she moved across the couch and over to Lexa. She didn’t touch Lexa, much to Lexa’s surprise and disappointment. Clarke respectfully maintained her area of personal space. “Lexa, you have nothing to be sorry for. I do. It’s because of me that you’re having trouble at work. I’m… I can’t…I don’t want to be the reason you lose everything you’ve worked so hard for. It’s not fair to you and I understand that.” Clarke pointed at herself. “You didn’t sign up for this. I appreciate you at least coming here to end it personally.” Clarke let out a sad laugh. “The last person I was with broke up with me through his publicist.”

  
Lexa couldn’t stop herself from closing the distance between them. She took Clarke’s trembling hands in her own trembling hands. Lexa then took a deep breath, willing her hands to regain some control. Clarke’s skin was soft and her touch was instantly comforting. Lexa shouldn’t even be surprised by the effect Clarke has on her anymore. She gazed into the blue eyes she has quickly come to adore.

  
“Clarke, I’m not ending this.”

  
Clarke’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You’re… you’re not?”

  
Lexa smiled, a wide, bright smile. The first smile that had graced her features in hours. “No.”

  
Clarke’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

  
Lexa drew in a deep breath. She had a past, well everyone does really, but it was painful and difficult and in true Woods form, wasn’t something she ever wanted to talk about.

  
“There was a girl.”

  
Clarke moved a bit closer. “Ok.”

  
Lexa rubbed her thumb over the back of Clarke’s hand. The gesture was comforting and reaffirming, further settling Lexa’s tattered nerves.  
Lexa looked down and their joined hands. “Her name was Octavia.”

  
Clarke gave her hands a soft reassuring squeeze. Lexa continued.

  
“She was my girlfriend and I thought I was very much in love with her. I mean, I guess I was, or at least what I thought what being in love was supposed to be.” Lexa paused to gather her thoughts before she began to speak again. “We were together for four years, we lived together, we were going to get married. I even bought a ring. I was all set to propose, had it all planned out. I was going to take her on a trip.” Lexa closed her eyes. “This trip.”

  
“Oh Lexa.” Clarke inched closer until her thigh was pressed up against Lexa’s.

  
“We were happy…at least I thought we were. But then I got hurt.” Clarke winced and Lexa felt her hands tighten their grip to reassure Clarke that she was all right and also to regain her own focus. “It wasn’t anything too serious, a stupid accident really. But I was laid up for a bit. My training partner Lincoln came to visit me quite regularly, the stupid accident was kinda his fault, but that’s not the point.” Lexa took another deep breath. “Octavia was there and they started talking and spending time together. I didn’t think anything of it then. But two weeks later, she told me that she needed to end things. She and Lincoln, well.” Lexa chuckled dolefully. “I think you can connect the dots.”

  
Lexa looked up at Clarke, her eyes were wide and filled with compassion. Lexa had to swallow back her impulse to just melt into her. To let Clarke comfort her in the way that only Clarke seemed to know how to do. She needed to stay upright and solid long enough to tell her everything.

  
“Growing up, I never wanted to get married, I mean for most of my life it wasn’t even an option in the U.S. My parents didn’t have the best marriage and it really turned me off of the whole idea, until I met Octavia. Being with her opened my eyes. I saw a future that I was certain was meant for someone else, now slowly becoming my own. Marriage, babies, the whole enchilada.” Lexa’s lips formed a small smile, but Clarke’s only became thin with her troubled frown.

  
Lexa shrugged, “I was utterly devastated. I mean I was hobbling around, unable to do simple things for myself, needing her more than ever and she just…left. In retrospect, I could see that things weren’t as good as I thought. She was a divorce attorney.” Clarke chortled and Lexa’s smile got a little bit bigger. “I know right?” Clarke moved even closer, hips and other body parts now fully touching. “She worked…a lot and my schedule was always a bit crazy. We would go weeks without really talking to each other, just two people in the same space, going through the motions but never really connecting, you know?” Clarke nodded, and Lexa knew that she did know.

  
Lexa felt the familiar tightness in her chest, the tightness she always felt when she talked about Octavia ease just a bit with her confession. It was the only serious adult relationship she had ever been in and what Octavia did certainly stung, stung like a white-hot bullet straight to the gut. However, with time and copious amounts of alcohol and self-reflection, Lexa had slowly begun to understand that things weren’t as perfect as she thought, that she lacked putting in the hard work and effort just as much as Octavia did. Truth was… they fell apart well before Lexa got injured.

  
“Anya wanted to hunt her down and skin her alive.” Lexa grinned and Clarke smiled with her, after hearing Anya on the phone yesterday morning, she was sure that was something that wasn’t too far out of Anya’s wheelhouse. “Linc came to see me a few months later to try and explain things and we talked…he was happy, _she_ made him genuinely happy. I…I couldn’t really hold a grudge.”

  
Clarke shook her head. “That’s…wow, that’s very mature of you Lexa. I don’t know if I could be that forgiving.”

  
Lexa shrugged. “Life is too short. They’re happy, really happy. Just had a baby boy a couple of months ago.”

  
Lexa breathed in again, ready to get to her point. “But…this morning.” Lexa gulped, her nerves starting to get the best of her, her throat now dry and seeking out whatever moisture she could find in her throat, her tongue rough like coarse grit sandpaper. She picked up Clarke’s hands and held them to her face, closing her eyes as she felt soft fingertips caress her skin. “Just because I don’t hold a grudge, doesn’t mean that what happened hasn’t left me a little gun shy.” Lexa drew in another breath ‘Just be honest’ Anya’s words of advice echoed through her head.

“You scare me Clarke.”

  
Clarke’s eyes opened wide as she scooted closer to Lexa. “I scare you?”

  
Lexa nodded, gently squeezing Clarke’s hands again for reassurance.

  
“Why?”

  
“Because it’s like my whole life I’ve been away on this long journey searching for something that’s always been just out of reach, something I thought that maybe, just maybe I had within my grasp once. But I was wrong, so wrong. Now…now I know the difference, now I feel like I’ve finally arrived at my destination. Like I’ve finally found my place, my home. _You’re_ my home Clarke.”

  
Clarke’s eyes welled with tears as she bit at her bottom lip. “But your job.”

  
“Yes, possibly losing my job, is shitty, really shitty, and certainly not ever something I thought I would have to worry about. But it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.”

  
“Lexa.” Clarke tried to assert her own guilt and self-blame, but Lexa was having none of it. She let their joined hands drop back down to her lap.

  
“No Clarke. I’m an adult. Whoever I take to my bed, that’s on me. I take responsibility for my own actions. I knew, well had an idea at least, what I was getting myself into. I just wasn’t really prepared to deal with the consequences of that quite yet, or to figure out what the possible consequences could even be as far as my job goes.”

  
Clarke sighed. “I know you’re an adult and can make your own decisions, but they do have consequences. _I_ have consequences. Consequences we should have discussed before we started to date.”

  
Lexa felt her stomach wiggle that nervous butterfly wiggle. It was the best kind of nervous. It reminded Lexa of a roller coaster ride, the chain just grabbing the car as it steadily climbed up and up as it reached the peak, before taking the inevitable plunge. A plunge she realized in that moment, she was more than willing to take. It made her smile without even thinking.

“Why are you smiling?” Clarke asked, clearly concerned.

  
Lexa let go of Clarke’s hands and reached up to cup her cheeks. Clarke’s eyes were still bloodshot and red-rimmed but her irises stood out like sparkling blue sapphires. Lexa smiled even broader. “Because being with you may be messy and have consequences, yes. But, I know that this can be so much more. I know you believe that as much as I do.” Clarke finally, finally broke into a small smile of her own. “I want this Clarke, I want _you_. I don’t give a fuck about the consequences.”

  
With that declaration, Clarke’s tears finally fell and Lexa let her lips meet Clarke’s. The kiss was soft and more than reciprocated. Lexa closed her eyes, and in that instant, all of the things she had imagined with Octavia, a silver engagement ring, a woman dressed all in white, a stomach round with their child, a swing set in their backyard, Lexa chasing a toddler around before catching her and tickling her little chubby cheeks. All the things that she once wanted, things she long thought that she would never have, came back to life in her mind’s eye. This time, the images clearer and more sharply focused than ever.

  
Now, in place of a raven-haired woman by Lexa’s side, there stood a beautiful blonde.

  
Lexa kissed Clarke harder, her hands moving over hips and ribs before resting underneath clothing on soft skin. Once she had confessed her feelings and let her past see the light of day, Lexa felt every doubt and fear slip away. She needed to show Clarke, needed to feel Clarke, needed to express with her body the intensity of her feelings.

  
She slowly pushed Clarke down on the couch. Clarke clung to her, clearly needing the same things that Lexa did. Lexa craved Clarke’s skin in a way she had never before craved anything in her life. She reached down to remove Clarke’s shirt, only to be interrupted by someone annoyingly clearing her throat.

  
Lexa removed her self from Clarke and helped her to sit up as they both looked over the back of the couch.

  
“So.” Raven smirked as she leaned against Clarke’s kitchen island, arms crossed, posture smug. “I guess we’ve made up?” Clarke rolled her eyes as Lexa cursed herself for being so preoccupied with Clarke she didn’t even hear Raven come back into the penthouse, which she clearly had unfettered access to. What good was all her police training if she could be so easily distracted?

  
Lexa looked back at Clarke who was now smiling wide.

  
“Clarke, I think we need to talk about your security measures.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I bet you all didn't see that coming. I wanted to move from canon Costia and go with something a little bit different for Lexa's backstory.


	11. The Friend Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven gives Lexa the bff talk, more of Lexa's past is revealed. Anya and Raven meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!!
> 
> First off, just let me say I do read all of your comments and I love them all, even the more critical ones. A lot of you have good suggestions and I do enjoy hearing them and will incorporate some of them into the story in the future. It actually helped me figure out a few plot points for this story. So thank you for all of your great feedback!
> 
> Enjoy!

“So.” Raven spoke with a sly smirk as she took a short sip of her flat white. “You’re a police officer?”

“Yep.” Lexa replied as she took a sip from her own coffee. Raven was thoughtful enough to get one for Lexa, black with an additional bag full of all the possible sugar and cream additions. Lexa snuck a glance over at Clarke who was standing beside her, fingertips nervously scratching at the lid on her own coffee, a piccolo she thinks she heard Raven call it, Lexa made a mental note to look up exactly what it was and file it away as Clarke’s caffeine delivery system of choice.

Lexa turned back to the woman across from her who was eyeing her up carefully. Lexa knew exactly what this was. It was the ‘best friend’ talk, or more honestly the ‘best friend’ inquisition. Raven was subtly trying to assess if Lexa was good enough for Clarke. Lexa had no doubt that Raven would be asking all the right questions and at some point, surely threatening bodily harm. She snuck a look back over at Clarke, reading Clarke’s body language, it was clear she knew what this conversation was as well.

Lexa was undeterred. She was determined to pass any test Raven gave her.

“In New York City?” Raven asked again.

“Um, yes. I’m actually an officer in the Mounted Police Division.” Lexa replied proudly. Even though she wasn’t exactly sure how much longer she could claim that job title on her resume.

“Really?” Raven seemed impressed.

“Yeah, um hold on one second.” Lexa pulled her phone out of her back pocket and took a second to scroll through some pictures before smiling as she found one she liked and turned the phone towards Raven. Clarke slid around the kitchen island so she could see the pic as well.

“That’s Gus.” Lexa offered, the pride shining though her voice again as she spoke about her mount. “He’s a six-year-old gelding.” Lexa pointed at the screen. She didn’t miss the way Clarke smiled fondly at the picture. Lexa was in full uniform, saddled proudly on top of the grey horse. Lexa watched on as blue eyes absorbed the image, Clarke’s button nose crinkling in delight as she took in every detail on the screen before her.

“He’s beautiful.” Clarke smiled again.

Lexa smiled with her. “He’s the best, I’ve been training with him since he was two years old. He’s so smart and incredibly loyal. And kids just love him, he’s so good with them when they come up to us. He loves when they’re around him, I think he’s an attention whore,” Lexa chuckled. “He’d do anything for a scratch behind the ear.”

Raven was definitely impressed. “A charmer.” She added as she handed Lexa’s phone back to her.

“That he is.” Lexa smiled as she put the phone back in her pocket.

“Send me that pic.” Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear as she moved back to her side. Eyelashes batting seductively.

Lexa’s gulp was audible.

“Easy Griff, I’m standing right here.” Raven added with a smirk as she took another drink of her flat white.

“So, your job pays well?” Raven asked after she swallowed her latest mouthful of coffee.

“Rae, no.” Clarke interrupted. “Not cool.”

Lexa wanted this to go well. “I don’t mind the question.” She replied to Clarke before turning her attention back to Lexa. “I do alright, about $80,000.00 a year. I have full benefits and I’m seven years into my twenty for a full pension.”

She knew Raven was only asking to measure her level of comfort with divulging such information to a perfect stranger, clearly as they were standing in the middle of Clarke’s very expensive and well-appointed penthouse, supporting Clarke financially wasn’t really a legitimate concern for Raven. Lexa knew if this was anyone else asking, they would have been kindly told to fuck right off. But she was looking to impress, not alienate Clarke’s bff.

Raven nodded. “Pretty good, and I’m sure given the current state of affairs in the U.S., job security Is not an issue for you.”

Lexa smiled woefully, “Not really, no.” She realized that Clarke obviously didn’t tell Raven exactly why she had left Lexa’s hotel room this morning.

“And what about your family? Are you close with them?” Raven asked, and Lexa could see she was mentally checking down her list of interrogation questions one by one.

“Well, um.” She looked at Clarke who was smiling sweetly at her. She wanted to talk to Clarke about her family situation one on one, not reveal it in the ‘best friend’ talk, but… this was what she had to work with. “My parents divorced when I was very young, my dad left one day and never came back.” Lexa shrugged, it didn’t hurt now as much as it used to. “My mom is was a waitress. She always worked a lot to pay the bills, but we did ok, we had a lot of help from my extended family.”

She felt Clarke’s hand cover her own. Clarke’s touch, as always, was soothing, wrapping Lexa in a Clarke sized cocoon of safety and comfort.<

“My Aunt Jackie,” Lexa looked at Clarke as she continued, wanting to tell _her_ this story, “Anya’s mom, she always looked out for me. I spent most of my time at their house. They have a lot of money, her husband Jim, my uncle, worked on Wall Street in finance. They took me everywhere, every vacation they went on, I went too. Aunt Jackie always said it was so Anya would have a buddy to hang out with, but I know she took me because she wanted me to have those experiences too. She knew my mom always felt so guilty that we could never afford to do those things ourselves.”

  
Lexa looked down as Clarke’s fingers intertwined with her own, Clarke instinctively moved closer, their arms touching before Clarke rested her chin on Lexa’s shoulder. Sapphire eyes looked into her own, looked into her soul.

“Your aunt and your mom are sisters?” Raven asked, pulling Lexa from the endless well of Clarke’s eyes.

“Yes, my mom, Rebecca, and Jackie are two of five kids. They live in New York but the rest all live in Philadelphia and DC, my cousins too. I don’t get to see any of them too much these days, holidays mostly.”

Raven’s eyes darted between the both of them. Clarke was laser focused on Lexa and Lexa was as focused on Clarke. “Mhm hmm, and how would you feel about adding a plus one to that family?” Raven asked with a spirited lilt to her voice. If Lexa had no intentions of making Clarke an honest woman, she better say as much now.

Lexa’s eyes never left Clarke’s. “I would like to…someday that is.”

Clarke only smiled as Lexa’s leaned down and gave her lips the slightest brush with her own, before ghosting them over her cheek.

“Uh huh and what about adding a few more players to the roster? Filling out Team Griffin?”

Lexa pulled back and looked quizzically at Raven.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “That’s Raven speak for ‘do you want kids?’”

“Oh..um…well.” She looked back at Clarke sheepishly.

“You don’t have to answer that.” Clarke reassured her, brushing her thumb over Lexa’s hand.

“Two.” Lexa answered confidently. “I would like two, don’t care if its two girls or two boys or one of each. But just two, don’t want to be outnumbered in my own home.” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke smiled so brightly her eyes sparkled.

Raven laughed so hard she nearly spit out her latest sip of coffee “Oh my God. That’s exactly what Clarke says about kids. ‘It’s all about the parent to child ratio Rae.’”

Clarke’s attention snapped back to Raven. “You know I can’t stand those television shows where the people have like twenty kids. First off, overpopulation! Secondly, the ridiculous cost of clothing and feeding all of those kids, third, I don’t even know when these people even find the time to have sex to make more kids, let alone the energy.” Lexa smiled at Clarke’s rant as she continued. “And what if one day the kids decide to overthrow their parental overlords? Its twenty kids to two parents. They could overpower Mum and Dad, tie them up in the basement and rule the house in a Lord of the Flies scenario! Don’t laugh at me Raven. It could happen!”

Raven slapped the marble countertop with one hand as she held her stomach even tighter with the other, trying to soothe the stitch in her side.

Lexa piped in to support Clarke’s argument. “She’s right, it’s a tactical nightmare, how do you get all those kids to listen to you? And then imagine changing like 100 diapers a day with the little ones. I mean just the logistics alone.” Lexa shook her head “No thank you.”

Raven was holding her stomach she was laughing so hard. “Oh you two are perfect for each other. I approve Griff.”

Lexa smiled proudly at earning Raven’s stamp of approval.

“Ok, so now the important stuff.” Raven spoke as she finally calmed her hysterical laughing. “I love my Griff, she’s family and I’m very protective of my family. I know you’re a cop and all that, but I will fuck you up if you hurt her again. Get it?”

Lexa’s eyes widened as her smile dropped instantly. “Yes.”

Clarke shook her head before throwing a severe glare at her friend. “Raven, stop threatening Lexa. I’m trying to get her to stay, not run out of here like her hair is on fire.”

Raven stuck her tongue out at Clarke and Clarke returned the gesture. Lexa relaxed instantly. She could only chuckle at the two of them acting like little kids.

Raven picked up her coffee cup and a bag, which from the delectable smell, Lexa was sure contained some kind of freshly baked item. “Ok, I’ll let you get back to doing Lexa- I mean doing whatever you were doing before I came back in, which was…oh yeah, Lexa.” Raven smirked.

“Thank you, that’s actually exactly what I’d like to be doing right now.” Clarke added with a smirk of her own as Lexa’s cheeks bloomed with a red tint, her body flush with a fresh wave of sexual desire and awkward embarrassment.

“Fine. Word of advice Lexa,” Raven pointed her thumb at Clarke, “don’t mess with this one while she’s all horned up, she gets grumpy.”

Just when Lexa thought the situation couldn’t get any more uncomfortable.

Raven smirked again as she headed down the hall. “I’ll be in my room Griff, try not to shake the paint of the walls. You have neighbors.”

Clarke waited for Raven’s door to close before she wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulled her in close.

“Hi.” Clarke whispered as she kissed Lexa’s lips.

“Hey.” Lexa replied as she kissed Clarke, content at feeling Clarke’s body flush against hers.

“Sorry about her.” Clarke whispered as she kissed Lexa again.

Lexa chuckled as she pulled Clarke impossibly closer. “That’s what I said about Anya.”

Clarke dipped her head under Lexa’s chin, breathing in her scent before snuggling into her neck. “Maybe we should introduce them.”

Lexa rested her chin on Clarke’s head, a broad smile stretching her cheeks. “Maybe we should.”

***

Bondi Beach and the Icebergs Pool was number three on Lexa’s list of things to see in Sydney (in combination with the Bondi to Coogee walk). It was finally a bright, sunny warm day out and Clarke had suggested a nice lunch and relaxing day on the beach for all of them. Lexa was more than excited to see the beach and cross this experience off her list. However, the only thing that Lexa could think about at the present moment was seeing Clarke in a bikini. She had already seen her naked of course, but there was something very suggestive and erotic about the thought of a scantily clad Clarke frolicking in the crashing waves.

Lexa had texted Anya and advised her to pack her bathing suit and take an Uber to the restaurant Clarke had suggested. Clarke assured Raven that she and Lexa would not be ‘banging’ anywhere in her immediate vicinity and promised to buy her lunch if she would come with them. Raven was more than mildly intrigued when Lexa showed her a picture of Anya and told her she was coming to meet them for lunch as well.

The meal was…awkward to say the least.

Things had started off well. Anya stepped out of the Uber with her aviator Ray Bans and a backpack full of beachwear and all the accompanying gear that goes with it. She was dressed casually, short jean shorts, flip-flops and a red tank top that showed off her toned figure. Anya smiled as she nonchalantly walked over to the trio. Lexa had texted her to try to keep her shit together in front of Clarke and Clarke’s friend and Anya pinky swore she should do her best, but Lexa could see the nervous energy rolling off her cousin.

“Fuck.” Lexa heard Raven mutter under her breath as Anya wandered over. Lexa had an inkling that Raven might be gay or maybe even bisexual given her interest in Anya’s picture. But her gaydar was notoriously faulty and has failed her many, many times before. Raven’s reaction confirmed that Lexa was right.

“Ladies.” Anya spoke smoothly.

“Anya, a pleasure to see you again.” Clarke replied as she put out her hand for Anya to shake and this time she did without hesitation.

“You as well Clarke.” Anya responded and Lexa gave her cousin a slight nod in appreciation of her ability to rein herself in. “Lexa.”

“I’m Raven.” Raven interrupted as she stuck her hand out as well for Anya to shake. Anya slid her sunglasses down her nose to get a better look at the Latina. “Anya.” She replied smoothly as she shook her hand. “Lexa didn’t tell me you were an American.” Anya hooked her elbow with Raven and walked them both into the restaurant. “Where are you from?”

The pair strolled into the restaurant like they had known each other all of their lives leaving Clarke and Lexa standing alone in the parking lot. “That went…better than I had expected honestly.” Lexa spoke as she reached out for Clarke’s hand.

Clarke interlocked their fingers immediately. “I think they’re going to get along just fine.”

Lunch was delicious. Not only was Clarke an excellent cook, but she was also quite a foodie as well and knew all of the best places to procure the most delicious meals. Lexa had a scrumptious quinoa salad, Clarke and Raven had Wagyu beef burgers (Lexa snuck a few of Clarke’s sweet potato fries) and Anya the tagliatelle with king prawns. The conversation flowed easily, all four of them engaging in polite small talk, getting to know each other. Lexa was pleased that Anya got over her initial excitement at meeting Clarke and seemed to be settling in with the group nicely. Lexa smiled as she watched Anya laugh at something funny Clarke said, Lexa’s heart warming at the sight. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy.

After they finished eating, Clarke and Lexa ordered another beer, Anya and Raven white wines before Raven excused herself to go to the Ladies room.

“So?” Lexa asked Anya curious to see what her cousin thought about Raven. Clarke leaned in closer wanting to hear Anya’s response as well.

“She seems nice.” Anya replied as the waiter delivered their drinks.

“Nice?” Lexa asked with a raised eyebrow. That’s exactly what she said to Anya when first describing Clarke.

“Yeah, she seems really nice. She’s from South Boston actually.” Anya replied.

Lexa turned to Clarke. “Anya went to law school in Boston, wait…please don’t tell me she’s a Red Sox fan?”

“Born and raised.” Clarke replied.

“Shit.” Lexa and Anya mumbled simultaneously.

Clarke took Lexa’s hand in her own, playing with her long fingers. “Aww. Is my Yankee a Yankee fan?”

“You didn’t think I was a Mets fan? My mother raised me better than that.” Lexa smiled.

Clarke smiled before turning to Anya. “I guess you are too Anya?”

“Yes ma’am.” Anya smiled.

“Oh no, she’s not a Patriots fan also is she?” Lexa asked.

Clarke chuckled as she leaned in closer to Lexa “She has a Brady, a Gronk and a Cooks jersey.”

“Fuck, and I liked her too.” Lexa smiled as she gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s ok baby, you have two Superbowl wins over them.” Clarke smiled and gave Lexa a chaste kiss on the lips. Lexa’s insides melted, again, at the term of endearment and Clarke’s football knowledge.

Just then Anya’s phone began to ring. “It’s the office,” she said. “Excuse me, but I have to take this.”

“Ok.” Lexa replied as Anya headed off.

Lexa took a drink of her cold beer, her eyes focused over her bottle on the face of the woman sitting next to her. The frothy liquid was refreshing, but Clarke’s smile was illuminating. The sun was streaking in through the large bay windows of the restaurant, catching the ends of Clarke’s blonde hair, painting platinum streaks through her wavy locks. Her eyes sparkled, well as far as Lexa could tell, they always sparkled, but today they shined like finely polished aquamarine.

“You’re beautiful.” The words came out as soon as Lexa’s lips left her beer bottle. She couldn’t help it.

Clarke smiled even brighter. “You’re pretty beautiful yourself babe.” Clarke rested her hand on Lexa’s bare thigh. Lexa watched as Clarke’s eyes quickly roamed down her body then back up to her face. She had on an outfit similar to Anya’s, denim cutoffs and a white tank that showed off her muscles and tattoos. It wasn’t the first time she noticed Clarke’s eyes roving over her body today, she was happy her girl appreciated all the hard work she put in at the gym.

Her girl.

_Her_ girl.

Lexa was about to say something charming and witty back to Clarke, but her lips quickly became occupied with Clarke’s. Clarke, who tasted like lager and Lucas’ Pawpaw, Clarke who embodied sunshine and the blinding brightness of summer and wrapped Lexa up in her light, filling her with happiness and warmth. Clarke who was her girl. They hadn’t made it official yet, but both had agreed to sincerely try to make this relationship work, no matter what. Lexa couldn’t help but smile against Clarke’s lips.

Clarke pulled away, a smile on her own lips as she looked into Lexa’s eyes. She reached up and tucked a stray curl that had fallen out of Lexa’s ponytail behind her ear. Clarke gave Lexa another quick kiss before standing up. “I’m going to go to the toilet. I’ll be right back babe.”

Lexa nodded and watched as Clarke walked towards the bathrooms. _Five times_. Clarke had called her babe or baby five times already. She wishes she were as comfortable with it as Clarke was. Lexa didn’t throw terms of affection around easily. She and Octavia had been dating for nearly six months before she accidentally called her ‘honey’ one morning after Octavia made her coffee. Lexa wished she were more at ease with things like that, more comfortable with telling people how she feels. But she was determined to try. She wanted to try to be better with Clarke; she wanted to try to be better for Clarke.

Lexa took another drink, just as she put the bottle down she saw Clarke rushing back over to the table. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” Clarke blustered out as she took a long drink of her own beer and then another, and then another.

“Clarke what is it?” Lexa asked, her stomach in a knot. She turned and quickly scanned the restaurant to see if there was anyone who presented a threat to Clarke. She couldn’t identify anything that looked suspicious.

Clarke downed her beer quickly before holding her empty bottle up in the direction of the waiter, signaling him to bring another. She took a breath before grabbing Lexa’s hand. Clarke was out of breath, her cheeks were all red and she was completely flustered.

“I went to use the Ladies and I didn’t even think. I just opened the stall and… then I saw it.”

Lexa wrapped her hand even tighter around Clarke. Her stomach nervous, her reflexes sharp, her muscles taught and ready to respond to any threat. “What Clarke? What did you see?”

“Raven and Anya… fucking!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter! I appreciate all of you reading my work. It makes me very happy to know you all seem to enjoy what I do. I love these characters and I love writing for them. Right now tho, I just want to address a few things that have come up in the comments:
> 
> 1) For those of you who don't like Ranya, I just want to remind you that they will be a very minor pairing in this story. There won't be any chapters dedicated to them, I just really wanted to give them something to do while Clarke and Lexa are together. I happen to like them together, but I know some of you don't and I hear you. Anya came with Lexa on this trip instead of Octavia so she wouldn't be alone. Raven is here visiting with Clarke. It just seemed logical to put them together. 
> 
> 2) For those who have called Lexa and Clarke out, Lexa in particular for being very emo and immature. I hope it was explained with her revealing her past with Octavia. It was the only real adult relationship Lexa has ever had and she left Lexa for Lexa's friend while Lexa was injured. Lexa may understand now that things weren't great between them but it doesn't make her hurt any less. She is afraid to trust in someone again. Especially like a relationship (with Clarke) that is already not going to be an easy one. And Clarke has her own past that will be revealed later that should explain why she acts the way she does. The angst is there for a reason, it sets up plot points later on in the story. I understand if it doesn't sit well with everyone, I don't always like the way other people do things. Just give the story a chance to play out and hopefully most of you will be happy. 
> 
> 3) Lexa grew up rather poor, even with Anya's mom looking out for her. Clarke's wealth is very intimidating for Lexa which is why she had a problem with Clarke taking her to a very fancy and expensive place on their first date. Lexa didn't go to college, she went right to the police academy after high school, she is very proud of all that she's accomplished in her career and is very proud to be making it on her own and standing on her own two feet. Losing her job would be devastating to her, both to her pride and to her wallet. $80,000/year sounds like a lot, but in New York City, it really isn't. 
> 
> They have many hurdles to overcome, but they will. 
> 
> I hope this resolves everything for you guys. If you have any more questions please do comment.
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading!


	12. Bondi, Bruises, Boobs and Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranya's post-coitus fallout, Lexa and Clarke talk, Clarke reveals a bit of her own past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!!!! ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!!!!
> 
> First off, let me apologize for keeping you all waiting. I really, really struggled with this chapter and I'm still not quite happy with it, but I was determined to get this out to you guys. I have been promising a new chapter for a while and then I fell off the radar, and for that I'm sorry. And thank you Angeliss for giving me the kick in the pants I needed to get this chapter finished! Sometimes I really need it. (A lot of times I really need it.)
> 
> Second, I hope this explains a little bit about Clarke and why she acts the way she does. We will delve further into this a little more later on. Tags have been updated.
> 
> Enjoy!

Bondi Beach was beautiful of course, but not as beautiful as the blonde that Lexa was currently lathering SPF 50 sunscreen all over. She paid special attention to Clarke’s shoulders and back, tracing her fingertips over the tattoo on Clarke’s left shoulder. It was a black navigator’s compass with numbers in the middle, which Lexa had assumed were map coordinates. Obviously she had seen it before; Clarke was unabashedly free with her nakedness, but Lexa hadn’t asked what it meant. Her own tattoos held special meaning and Clarke had respectfully not inquired about them after she had seen them.

Clarke had two more tattoos that Lexa hadn’t asked about. A name written in black script on the inside of her right wrist, “Jake” and a tiny bluebird on the top of her left foot. The name had really bothered Lexa but she wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t jealous, or at least Lexa didn’t feel like that’s what this reaction was. There was just something that bugged her about a man’s name tattooed on Clarke’s wrist. Who is he? An ex? A friend? Lexa realized then that there was still a lot about Clarke she didn’t know.

What she did know, was that the bikini Clarke was wearing was criminally tiny. It was a multi-color print that barely contained Clarke’s very ample breasts. It was purple, blue and red and had almost perfectly matched the hickey she had put on Clarke’s chest. Lexa cringed when Clarke took off her cover up and Lexa saw it again. It looked like she punched Clarke square in the upper boob…hard. Raven of course spotted it instantly, well to be fair… it could have been spotted from outer space instantly. Raven’s eyes went wide and Lexa ducked her head down in embarrassment. Clarke however had no shame, not that she ever does really. Clarke told Raven point blank that she was proud to wear Lexa’s mark. Clarke then pointed out the newly blossoming hickey on Anya’s neck, which caused Raven to run back to the drink stand to buy another bottle of water, even though the cooler they brought with them had six nearly frozen bottles of water inside. No one mentioned anything about the bruises after that.

Things were still uncomfortably awkward after Clarke had caught Raven and Anya mid-compromising position in the bathroom of the restaurant. Lexa threw a bunch of cash down on the table to cover their bill and both of them quickly hurried outside. Raven and Anya did the walk of shame out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. They moved into the backseat of Clarke’s car without saying one word. Neither tried to make eye contact with Clarke or Lexa and Lexa was grateful. The entire situation was beyond awkward and Lexa didn’t do well with awkward. Crowd control, suspect apprehension, riots, these things Lexa knew how to manage, awkward post hook-up tension…no clue.

“What the actual fuck!” Clarke however didn’t seem to have any problems navigating the awkwardness. She turned around and faced the two guilty parties. “In the toilets Rae? Really?”

“Didn’t stop you in Barcelona.” Raven replied with a smirk. Lexa raised her eyebrow as she leveled a bemused look at Clarke.

“That’s not…” Clarke glanced over in Lexa’s direction quickly, her face red with embarrassment, before turning back to Raven. “We’re not talking about me right now, we are talking about you! Rooting in the public toilets with someone you just met!”

Raven huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, while simultaneously rolling her eyes at Anya. “And how long did you know Lexa before you brought her back to your apartment for a fuck?” Raven’s tone was aggressive and clearly didn’t sit well with Clarke, as Lexa could plainly see as Clarke clenched her teeth, preparing to fire a sharp retort directly into the backseat.

Anya clearly sensed the tension as well. “Ladies.” She spoke calmly as she sat up and moved to a defensive position between Clarke in the front seat and Raven in the back seat. “Ladies, please calm down.”

Clarke huffed as she turned around and Raven fixed an icy stare out the car window. Anya continued, determined to play peacemaker. “Look, we are all adults here. Raven and I both consented to what happened in the bathroom same as you and Lexa did in your apartment. We only have a short amount of time here together; let’s make the best of it.” Anya turned to Raven. “Ok?” she asked, Raven shrugged and nodded her head. Anya then turned to Clarke. “Ok Clarke?” she asked softly and Clarke huffed again before Lexa reached over the center console and reassuringly placed her hand on Clarke’s bare leg. Lexa smiled at the comfortable sensation beneath her exploring fingertips. The skin there smooth and warm. Clarke looked down at the point of contact between them and her shoulders sagged in submission. “Yes.”

That was over an hour ago. Raven and Clarke hadn’t spoken much since then. Lexa wasn’t sure if Clarke was more embarrassed by Raven’s behavior or flustered that she had caught her best friend in an intimate moment. Clarke’s mood had softened at least, now she was soft and pliable under Lexa’s massaging fingers. Lexa had made the most of Clarke asking her to apply her sunscreen. Simple preventative application had turned into an impromptu sensual massage. Clarke sat between Lexa’s legs, both sitting on a blue and white striped beach towel, Clarke’s hands resting gently on Lexa’s bare thighs, fingers drawing small but intricate patterns on Lexa’s tanned skin. Clarke’s head dropped forward as she relaxed and leaned back into Lexa’s touch. The soft and sinful moans leaving Clarke’s lips as Lexa smoothed out a knot in her right shoulder were _doing_ things to Lexa.

“Fuck Clarke.” Lexa leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

Lexa felt Clarke’s chuckle beneath her fingertips. “What’s wrong babe?” she spoke in her perfect and very sexy Australian accent, which also _did_ something to Lexa.

Lexa leaned in a little closer. “Those noises you’re making are driving me crazy.”

Clarke turned her head around so she could whisper in Lexa’s ear. “What noises? I’m just enjoying my massage.”

Lexa smiled before dropping a light kiss on Clarke’s shoulder. “I see we are being coy today.”

Clarke smiled in return, perfect white teeth behind soft pink lips.

Lexa felt it. The tingling sensation of those three words dancing dangerously upon her tongue. She knew that she loved her, and for the first time in thinking about her feelings for Clarke, she felt no fear in that admission. Any apprehension she had once felt had left with her confession to Clarke about her past. But Lexa knew in her gut it was too soon, far too soon for that declaration.

Not too soon for her heart though, her heart was already in this for the long haul.

She felt Clarke’s fingers ghost across her cheeks, pulling her from her thoughts. “Where’d you go baby?”

“Nowhere. Its nothing.” Lexa’s first instinct was to lie, lie for continued self-preservation, even though she knew she shouldn’t have, that she _didn’t_ have to. Then she remembered her promise, her promise to always be honest with Clarke. “It’s just that I… I care about you Clarke, a lot.”  


Clarke turned completely around, sitting on her knees in between Lexa’s legs. Both of her hands resting on Lexa’s cheeks, gently stroking the freshly sun kissed skin there. “I care about you too Lexa, a lot.” Clarke leaned in to peck Lexa’s lips, but a lively “oof” and plopping down of two bodies next to them broke Clarke’s concentration.

Lexa looked over to the pair that had ruined their moment. She found a smirking Anya and an awkward Raven looking back at them. “Hey.” Lexa nodded at her cousin.

“Hey.” Anya nodded back, Lexa watched on as Anya nudged Raven with a finger to the side. Lexa looked back at her cousin as she smiled sweetly at Raven. Lexa doesn’t think she’s ever seen that look on Anya’s face before.

“Hey, um Clarke? Can we go for a walk?” Raven asked quietly, her fingers twisting in the soft beach towel beneath her.

Clarke looked back at Lexa. Lexa knew they needed to hash out whatever was going on between them and nodded her approval at Clarke. Not that Clarke needed her approval for anything, but she wanted Clarke to know she was alright with whatever she wanted or needed to do.

“Sure Rae.” Clarke leaned in and gave Lexa a quick kiss before gathering up a bottle of water and her sunglasses and heading off with Raven towards the water line. Lexa’s eyes never left Clarke’s form, watching as bits of sand clung to her perfect backside and the beads of sweat that rolled lightly down her freckled shoulders. Lexa silently wished she could chart the trail of sweat on Clarke’s skin with her tongue.

  
“Soooo.” Anya spoke next to her breaking Lexa out of her Clarke induced trance.

Lexa reached for her water bottle and took a long drink. She had almost forgotten Anya was sitting next to her as she watched Clarke sashay away. Her eyes followed her goddess as she and Raven wandered off down the beach.

“Lexa?” Anya prodded again with an even bigger smirk than before.

“Hmm Yeah?” Lexa took another long sip, eyes still on Clarke.

Anya leaned back and took a good look at Lexa’s exposed shoulders. “Nice bruises.”

_Fuck._

Lexa has forgotten about the fingertip shaped bruises on her skin and Clarkes’s tendencies to dig her nails into Lexa’s shoulders during sex.

“Uhm, yeah.” Lexa muttered as she finally looked away from her goddess and caught her cousin’s ever growing and sincerely annoying smirk from the corner of her eye.

“Looks like both of you are fans of staking your claims.” Anya shook her head as slid her sunglasses on and leaned back onto her towel.

Lexa opened her mouth attempting to defend Clarke and herself. “I..uh” Lexa then closed her mouth deciding it was best to not dig this hole any deeper.

Anya only smirked more irritatingly. Lexa wasn’t even sure that was even possible but apparently it was. She decided to just ignore her cousin for now.

Lexa popped her own sunglasses on as she leaned back on her hands and looked up at the sky. Lexa squinted at the bright sun blazing down on her. Out on the horizon the clouds were gray and black, another storm soon to come, but above her, the sky was as blue as Lexa had ever seen it. Azure blue. Blue that was clear and vibrant and thoroughly invigorating. Blue that reminded her of something else.

Of someone else.

Lexa’s eyes dropped and scanned the surrounding area until she found her. She and Raven had made their way out into the ocean. Both were laughing as they stood waist deep in crystal clear ocean water. The frothy white caps lapping gently at their bare and exposed skin. Lexa smiled at the sight, happy that Raven and Clarke worked out whatever was brewing between them.

Lexa winced as a particularly hard swell knocked into both of them as they had their backs turned away from the waves. Raven managed to stay upright. Clarke…not so much. Lexa sat up using her hand to shade her eyes so she could watch the scene unfold. Clarke quickly popped back up through the water’s surface a huge smile on her face, one hand moving her hair from her eyes, the other barley holding her now untied bikini top over her wet breasts.

Lexa’s eyes went wide as she looked around to see if anyone saw what had just unfolded. Anya was untroubled, she had fallen into what Lexa was sure was a post-orgasm nap. Not that Lexa wanted to know that Anya was one to conk out after sex. _No one needed to know that much about their cousin._

Lexa looked beyond Anya to the group of people a few feet over. She spied two young, well-muscled, ridiculously good-looking and surely annoyingly charming Australian guys. Lexa was a gold star lesbian and even she was impressed with these two. Why were all the people of Australia so damn good looking?

She saw the blond one, the one who looked like Adonis reborn, pointing at Clarke as he elbowed his black haired friend in the ribs trying to get his attention. Once their attention was focused solely on her goddess a few choice catcalls began to fill Lexa’s ears and her blood instantly boiled.

Her legs were moving before Lexa could stop herself. Not that she could even if she wanted to. She instantly gave in to her primal need to protect Clarke and shield her body from any prying eyes. Towel in one hand, her feet ran over the hot sand to Clarke’s near naked form. Clarke was oblivious of course; she was laughing and kicking water at Raven, as she tried not very successfully, to re-fasten her bikini top.

Lexa’s splashing as she ran into the water finally caught Clarke’s full attention. Lexa held the towel open at arm’s wide length and stood guard in front of Clarke.

“Babe?” Clarke asked with a confused look on her face. “What are you doing?”

Lexa looked away in a vain attempt to preserve Clarke’s modesty. “Your boo…I’m just…there were guys looking…” Lexa responded, her face red as a beet.

Clarke only smiled at Lexa as Raven shook her head. Clarke took the given opportunity to tie her top and adjust herself. Lexa continued to look away respectfully, until she felt now familiar fingertips tracing her jawline, fingertips that gently pulled her attention to where it was requested. Clarke’s eyes were playful; clearly she was more amused and less embarrassed by the situation, her smile wide and beaming. Lexa allowed herself a quick peek. Clarke’s hair was slicked back; water droplets glistened at her brow line and trickled slowly down the side of her face, then her neck, then down the valley between her breasts. Even though she had already secured Clarke’s permission to freely ogle her goods, Lexa eyes moved away quickly, not wanting to objectify Clarke. Clarke deserved to be treated respectfully and Lexa wanted to prove that she wasn’t some asshole shitbag like Finn.

“My knight in shining armour.” Clarke whispered as she laid a soft kiss to Lexa’s flushed cheek.

“Yeah, well…” Lexa shrugged off the compliment. After Clarke was finished and Lexa was sure her assets were secure, she threw the towel over her shoulder. She turned around a saw the very disappointed looks on the two muscle bound men. Lexa fired off a satisfied smirk in their direction, smug in the knowledge that she had ruined their, and everyone else’s, opportunity to leer at Clarke.

“Walk with me?” Her goddess’s voice whispered into her ear, the tone noticeably hopeful.

Lexa took Clarke’s hand and they set off down the beach. They stayed close to the waterline, where the sand was considerably cooler beneath their feet. Clarke gently tugged at her arm, unhappy with the sliver of space between them.

“I guess you’re wondering why I was so upset with Rae.” Clarke spoke as she looked down at her feet.

“No.” Lexa shook her head. “I’m sure you had your reasons.” And she was, whatever Clarke felt, she didn’t need to justify it to Lexa.

Clarke looked up at Lexa. “My ex, he would’ve immediately demanded an explanation.” Clarke chuckled sadly. “But he also would’ve never let me make a scene like that. He would’ve grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the car as he scolded me for embarrassing him.”

Lexa immediately stopped walking and Clarke stopped with her. Lexa had dealt with enough domestic abuse cases to understand exactly the scenario Clarke was describing. She was suddenly overcome with both the intensity of her rage and depth of her empathy for what she knew, and what she could only imagine Clarke had gone through. She swallowed back her anger and gave in to her overwhelming desire to comfort and reassure her girl. “Clarke, I would never-”

Clarke shushed Lexa with her finger. “I know you wouldn’t.”

Lexa rolled her shoulders and neck to release some of her anger. She knew it wasn’t the right response, but couldn’t help her body’s innate reaction at the thought of someone hurting Clarke.

“I trust you Lexa.” Clarke continued gently tugging at Lexa’s arm again, trying to pull her impossibly closer. “When I’m with you, when you touch me, I know you won’t hurt me. I don’t know how I know, but I just do.” She turned in to Lexa, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist and tucking her head underneath Lexa’s chin. Lexa is awed by the way their bodies fit together so perfectly, as is they were both carved from the same slab of marble. She wrapped her arms around Clarke tightly, pulling her in as close as possible, her muscular arms shielding Clarke from any and all threats. Lexa kissed the top of Clarke’s head, the sea salt gathered in Clarke’s hair clinging to her lips.

Clarke moved her head so she could look out at the ocean. “I was afraid that what happened with Raven and Anya might mess up what we have. I know it’s a bit hypocritical of me. Anya is right; they are both adults, both capable of consenting, what they did no different than what you and I did.” Clarke took a deep breath. “I feel safe with you Lexa, safer than I’ve ever felt with anyone in a long time. I was acting selfish I know, but I didn’t want what happened to scare you off and I took my fear out on Raven.” Clarke laughed. “And it took me thousands of dollars in therapy to realize that is something I do when I feel threatened, overreact and lash out at the wrong people.” Clarke turned back into Lexa and smiled as she snuggled closer into Lexa’s body. “I should ask for a refund. Apparently I’m not quite cured yet.”

She felt Clarke’s smile on her skin. “I appreciate you being honest with me. Fear can be crippling, believe me, I know.” They both chuckled. “You don’t ever have to, but if you ever want to talk about it, your ex,” Lexa clarified. “I’m here.”

Clarke nodded her head in a tacit agreement to Lexa’s open-ended offer of a sympathetic ear before pressing a soft kiss to Lexa’s collarbone. The inside of Lexa’s chest warmed at the feeling, as if Clarke’s lips had tattooed themselves directly onto her soul. They didn’t speak after that, as words were no longer required. They only stood quietly as the waves lapped around their feet, both content to be wrapped up in each other. Lexa felt at peace, for the first time in a long time.

So did Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I imagined this fic, I really thought it would be just a light hearted romp through Australia...but...in my brain this story has really moved in a bit of a different direction and for the life of me I can't leave the angst alone. I promise, it won't get super heavy, and yes Clexa and Clexa happy endings are always, always endgame for this writer. I hope you stick with it. 
> 
> More about Clarke's past will be coming in future chapters.
> 
> Australian Slang Translation: "Rooting" is apparently polite Ozzie slang for "Fucking."


	13. Icebergs and Other Landmines...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day at the beach comes to an end. Clarke and Lexa enjoy some quiet time together. Discussions about the future are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!
> 
> Here's a new chapter for you. A bit more of Clarke's past is revealed in this chapter, and some fluff, and some smut of course.
> 
> Enjoy!

Dusk settled over the Iceberg pool. Water lapped around them as they waded together, arms thrown over the edge of the pool to keep them in place. The sight was breathtaking. High tide had rolled in and the ocean waves crashed angrily against the wall of the pool, ocean spray coating their faces with a light mist. Occasionally a large surge would roll through and catch them both by surprise. They would laugh as the tried to clear the salt water from their eyes and slick back the hair from their faces.

Bondi beach and Iceberg Pool was number three on Lexa’s list of things to do in Sydney. She had planned her whole trip around Sydney, hoping someday to return to see Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane and the Outback. Sydney had so much to see and do, Lexa couldn’t just contain herself to spending only a few days there. She looked over at the smiling blonde to her left. Clarke’s skin was golden, even in the pink and purple hues of sunset. Her hair was full of light waves, laying perfectly around her face without even trying. Lexa knew her hair was frizzy and completely knotted from the seawater, she was afraid to even walk by a mirror until she had doused it with at least an entire bottle of conditioner. But Clarke, Clarke looked gorgeous. Lexa was convinced there would never be any circumstance in which Clarke could not be absolutely beautiful.

Clarke.

Clarke was not on her list. Her carefully compiled and thoroughly researched list. In all the times when she sat alone in her apartment, on her breaks from work, on her days off as she wandered around Forest Park, as she poured over her Fodor’s travel guide and her bookmarked tabs on her phone and laptop. As she found the perfect spot to propose to Octavia, the perfect spot to take the photos she wanted to add to her scrapbook (yes, she had an empty scrapbook ready for all her keepsakes, trinkets and photos.) Finding all the exact places she wanted to visit, giddy in the opportunity to show Octavia all the things she loved about Australia. This was where they were going to start building their marriage, their future.

  
Clarke was not on her list, but she had suddenly become the most important thing in Lexa’s life, the number one. After everything ended with Octavia, Lexa wanted to cancel this trip, but Anya convinced her to go. Anya had volunteered to come with her so she wouldn’t have to be alone, faked interest whenever Lexa rambled on about bridges and opera houses and botanical gardens. (Anya always preferred Europe.) Anya told her it would be good for her soul, give her closure, help her to heal and move on, and also achieve her childhood dream of seeing Australia in person, something she was always ready to tease Lexa about. So…Lexa let Anya talk her into coming.

And dammit if she wasn’t right.

Not that Lexa would _ever_ tell her that.

She was meant to come here, to be here at this time, in this moment. Something put her exactly in the right place at the right time. Something led her to Clarke.

Karma? Providence? Destiny?

Maybe.

Lexa had never believed in those things before Clarke.

Not when her father had left her as a child, not when her mother struggled every day to put food on the table, not when Octavia left her injured and broken to run off with her friend.

But one look from Clarke, feeling Clarke in her arms, kissing Clarke, waking up next to Clarke, making love to Clarke, everything about Clarke felt so right, so meant to be, it had to be destiny. There was no other logical way to explain it. Clarke’s body was new yet familiar, and so perfectly formed as to compliment Lexa’s own. Lexa knew it the moment she touched Clarke. Lexa knew it every time Clarke touched her back. Clarke knew it too. She believed. She had called it ‘love at first sight, soulmates finally finding each other.’ Lexa had never believed in those kinds of things before. But now?

Lexa _believed_.

Lexa moved behind Clarke, her hands temporarily settling on Clarke’s hips only for a second to give a slight squeeze before wrapping her arms perfectly around Clarke’s body as if they were made for no other purpose in this life. She nestled her head in the crook of Clarke’s neck, kissing her salty skin before resting her chin on Clarke’s shoulder.

“You were lost in your head again.” Clarke smiled as she leaned back into Lexa’s embrace. “You think too much Yankee.”

Lexa smiled as she snuggled against Clarke’s neck. “My brain likes to ramble on as much as my mouth does sometimes.”

They stayed like that, Clarke secure in Lexa’s arms, watching on as the sky was overtaken by deep purples and vivid magentas before finally settling into a dusty blue. The storm that was brewing all day continued to stay in its holding pattern off-shore, allowing the two this quiet moment to just enjoy the colorful spectacle that nature was thoughtfully painting for them. She could see the appreciation for the display on Clarke’s face, she was sure it was mirrored in her own.

Finally, after the first stars began to twinkle in the sky above them and the sun’s warmth moved on to its next port of call for the day, Clarke turned around and whispered into Lexa’s ear.

“Take me home.”

**

  
Anya and Raven left earlier to go grab some dinner, at least that the excuse they gave Clarke and Lexa. Anya texted Lexa right as they left the Icebergs pool advising her that Clarke’s penthouse would most definitely be empty tonight. Lexa just gave an “ok” as a reply, thinking better of asking for any details as to why Clarke shouldn’t be waiting up for her houseguest tonight.

Clarke drove the two of them directly back to her penthouse, with no discussion as to where they might spend the night. Lexa silently wondered if Clarke got a similar text from Raven as the one she got from Anya. They ordered in some take away from Surley’s. Lexa getting another one of the mouthwatering jalapeno veggie burgers this time with onion rings, Clarke getting the BBQ brisket sandwich and the poutine. Lexa had never tried poutine before and since it wasn’t vegetarian friendly she didn’t plan on trying it today, but she did love the story Clarke told about discovering the dish while she was working in Toronto. How Clarke had binged on it for a week straight before she fell into a “poutine coma” and then of course, its necessary addition to the menu when she opened Surley’s.

Lexa answered the door and paid for the food while Clarke was in the shower. Lexa insisted on paying for dinner and Clarke thankfully, didn’t put up a fuss. Lexa was happy it wasn’t Finn that delivered their dinner but another one of Clarke’s employees. She was far too tired to kick Finn off the balcony tonight.

Lexa took the time to set up a nice spread on the table out on the terrace. Even though it was only take out, Lexa wanted to make it a nice romantic dinner. She rummaged though Clarke’s kitchen, hoping Clarke wouldn’t mind. She managed to procure silverware, napkins, placemats, salt and pepper shakers and two drinking glasses.

She set up the table precisely; making sure every thing was neat and symmetrical, before going back in and grabbing two cold beers from the fridge. While she was waiting for Clarke to finish up, she noticed a string of fairy lights that had been haphazardly strewn about the terrace. She straightened them out, hanging them a little neater around the perimeter before turning them on. If this dinner were at Lexa’s apartment she surely would have broken out her substantial collection of scented candles for such an occasion. But for now, the twinkle lights would have to do.

  
A few minutes later, Clarke walked out on to the balcony looking refreshed and squeaky clean. She grinned as soon as she took in the scene.

“Wow.”

Lexa smiled nervously, bouncing on her toes as Clarke walked over and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

“You fixed the lights.” Clarke spoke as she moved over to the table.

“I did.” Lexa replied as she pulled out Clarke’s chair for her. “I hope that’s ok?”

  
“Of course it is.” Clarke replied with a smile as Lexa pushed her in.

Clarke took her napkin and placed it on her lap, “I’m beginning to think you’re a romantic Lexa.”

Lexa blushed as she sat in her own chair. “I just wanted to make it nice.” The “for you” was left unspoken.

Lexa opened both bottles of beer, handing Clarke hers before taking a sip of her own. They fell silent as they dug into their food, both of them hungrier than they had realized.

Lexa was finishing up the last of her onion rings as Clarke wiped a smudge of BBQ sauce from her lips before clearing her throat. Lexa had noticed all through dinner, though chose not to comment, that Clarke was fidgeting nervously in her chair. The air suddenly felt very unsettled around them.

That made Lexa nervous.

“So, um.” Clarke began. “I wanted to talk to you about some things.”

Lexa took the look on Clarke’s face to mean that hopefully this talk wasn’t a bad thing. “Ok.” Her nerves only slightly settled.

“I know you’ve only a bit over a week left here.” Clarke continued and Lexa nodded, chewing the last morsel of her food.

“I also know we’ve just decided that we want to try being together, after this.” Lexa nodded again.

“But I think we’ve got to discuss exactly how we do that, and maybe set some expectations for each other?” Clarke added as she slid her hands across the table.

“Ok.” Lexa replied, wiping her face with her own napkin before taking Clarke’s hands in her own.

“Maybe we should start with my schedule.” Clarke offered.

“Alright.”

“So I’m here for the next two weeks, then I go to Venice for a photo shoot, then Paris to film a commercial, then to visit my friend Murphy and stay at his flat in London for two or so weeks, while I’m there I have to meet with my manager and do an audition for this play. And then um, I think I have to meet with and investor in Austin and then… back to LA for a few weeks. I’m not sure of the exact dates until I look at the calendar on my phone.”

Lexa pulled away from Clarke’s hands and sat back in her chair, blinking her eyes quickly, trying to wrap her head around what she just heard. After making some assumptions as to how long all of those things should take and doing some quick math in her head, she frowned as a knot simultaneously formed on her stomach. “So I might not see you for two or three months?”

“What? No!” Clarke replied quickly. “No, I meant that’s a tentative schedule for most of it, a lot of that can change, and I can be in New York in between London and Austin.”

Lexa furrowed her brow. “So then a month? A month and a half?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Clarke, I don’t know.”

Clarke pushed back her chair and stood up, walking tentatively towards Lexa before kneeling by her side and taking her hands again. “Hey.” She reached up and gently touched Lexa’s cheek. “We will talk and text every day, Facetime every night, I can fly you to wherever I’m at on your days off, or I can fly to you.” Lexa sighed, but couldn’t help herself as she leaned into Clarke’s palm. “When I start filming my show, we’re in Tornoto. It’s a quick flight from New York, and hour and a half or so I think. We could spend every weekend together, or if you have the time you could stay as long as you want, explore the city.”

Lexa looked down at Clarke, her eyes were a dark almost navy blue. She could see the fear hiding behind the sparkle cast on them from the twinkle lights. After she found out Clarke was a survivor of domestic abuse, it suddenly clicked, all of Clarke’s behavior made sense. Clarke was exhibiting all the classic signs, the anxiety and self-esteem issues, the apprehensiveness and fear about their future, the trust issues especially the assumption right off that Anya was Lexa’s girlfriend whom she was cheating on. Clarke oozed bravado, but Lexa wondered how much of that was merely a false front. Even though Clarke was a successful actress, artist and entrepreneur, when it came to domestic abuse, her status meant nothing.

She knew Clarke needed her reassurance, needed Lexa to tell her it would all be ok, even though Lexa wasn’t even sure herself it would be. Lexa didn’t think about the distance, the unknown variables, and the fact that she was still up for review at work and had no idea how that would turn out.

But the hope, the hope of a happy ending, their happy ending held Lexa up like a life preserver. It wouldn’t allow her get swallowed up by her own doubt, not anymore. It gave her the strength to be what Clarke needed, to be _who_ Clarke needed.

To help Clarke be who she needed to be.

Lexa nodded her head. “We’ll make it work.”

Clarke broke into a wide smile and with it; Lexa saw the fear in her eyes disappear. The urge to protect, to shield Clarke from all the evils in this world pulled at Lexa again, she opened her arms and Clarke took her rightful place between them. She placed a kiss on the top of Clarke’s head; it was quickly becoming a gesture that was immensely comforting for both of them. She held Clarke like that for a few minutes, her still wet hair dampening Lexa’s shirt, before Clarke gently pulled away. Lexa had to fight the urge to tug her back in and keep her safe, but she also knew she had to respect Clarke’s personal boundaries.

“I need to ask something else of you.” Clarke continued.

“Alright.”

“I want-“ Clarke corrected herself. “I _need_ for us to be exclusive. Is that something that you can do?”

Lexa was taken aback at the question, as if she could be anything but faithful to Clarke. “Clarke, there’s no way. I could ever-“ Lexa shook her head. “I don’t cheat. I’m just not built that way. When I’m in a relationship, that’s it for me. When I’m in, I’m in 100%.”

Clarke nodded as she let out a breath. “Thank you. I appreciate that fidelity is something that’s also important to you in a relationship.”

“Yeah, of course.” Lexa replied, her confidence in the next words she spoke hopefully somewhat convincingly. “Look, I know it’s going to be rough, not spending every day together, but we can do this Clarke. I know we can.”

She pulled Clarke up and motioned for her to sit on her lap which Clarke happily did. She wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and tucked her head under Clarke’s chin as Clarke wrapped her arms around her neck. She kissed the first piece of skin she could find and felt Clarke hum in appreciation.

They sat there enjoying the view of Sydney at night as Lexa’s mind tried to absorb everything that had just transpired. Clarke had set the terms for their relationship, terms that Lexa had no real objections to, but terms that were nonetheless set by Clarke. She knew that for Clarke, the ability to exert her autonomy, especially from within the confines of a relationship was necessary. And it wasn’t as if Clarke had requested anything outlandish. She asked for patience, time and trust, three things that Lexa believed herself to be the core foundations of any healthy relationship.

Lexa smiled.

They were really doing this.

  
“Lexa?” her goddess spoke softly.

“Hmm?” Lexa squeezed her a little bit tighter.

“There’s no really nice way to say this, but you smell like a dirty clacker.”

Lexa’s forehead creased as she tried to go though her mental catalog of Australian slang to figure out what exactly Clarke was trying to say. The smirk on Clarke’s face grew large the longer she took.

Finally it clicked in Lexa’s brain.

“Hey!” she shouted jokingly as she gave Clarke a light poke to her ribcage to which Clarke giggled in response.

She pulled her tank top out and took a whiff of herself; the perspiration, sunscreen and ocean water had combined into something that smelled a little bit like a recently deceased but still very sweaty fish.

“Maybe I should hop in the shower.”

**

Fifteen minutes later Lexa reappeared from Clarke’s en suite bathroom, looking, feeling and smelling a whole lot cleaner than she had only a few minutes prior. Clarke had been thoughtful enough to set out an assortment of lotions, soaps, body washes, sprays, exfoliants and butters. Lexa had never seen so many bottles, jars and tubes in her life. She sniffed a few and settle on the one that smelled like raspberries, hoping that Clarke would like the way it smelled on her.

She toweled her hair dry, Clarke had also left out a leave in condition her for her and she was grateful, after about ten minutes she was able to work out the last of the knots in her hair. She then gave it a quick blow dry, so as not to have to redo the whole procedure in the morning.  
Finally she walked out into Clarke’s bedroom. Her goddess was sitting in bed, her back resting against the headboard. The only light on was the one on her bedside table. Clarke was very engrossed in reading something that looked to Lexa like a script; she was wearing black-rimmed glasses. Lexa didn’t know she wore glasses and Goddamn if she didn’t look fucking adorable in them. Lexa rested her shoulder on the doorframe of the bathroom and crossed her arms, fighting rather unsuccessfully to keep the smile of her face.

It didn’t take Clarke long to notice her presence. “Hey.” She spoke, her accent as always, a seductive symphony played only for Lexa’s ears.

Lexa unfolded her arms and wandered over to her girlfriend. “Hey.” She spoke as she sat on the bed. “Whatcha reading?”

“The script for the first episode of the next season of Exodus. Trying to get ahead.”

“Ahh” Lexa replied. “Do you have your place book marked?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Just checking.” Lexa replied with a smirk as she folded the script closed and placed it on the bedside table.

Clarke’s smiled as she took off her glasses and set them on top of the script.

“You wear glasses.”

“Only when I’m reading.”

They lay down together in bed facing each other, Clarke’s sheets soft and warm and smelling exactly like her. Clarke’s fingertips traced lightly over Lexa’s bicep, Clarke’s fingers were careful as they caressed her skin. Lexa’s fingers are moving as well, trailing over Clarke’s exposed collarbone and chest. Lexa’s fingers toy with the top of Clarke’s pajama tank top, playing with the frayed material for a few seconds before trailing lightly over Clarke’s hard nipple and down to her abdomen. Lexa gave her ribs a slight tickle before moving back up and repeating the trail she had mapped out on the other side. Lexa’s fingers traced the outline of Clarke’s other collarbone before leaning over and giving it a kiss. She could smell Clarke’s body wash and shampoo, it was fruity and spicy and its smell would forever remind her of the woman who used it.

Clarke traced lightly over the tattoo on Lexa’s shoulder, Lexa could feel the goose bumps following the path Clarke was charting. Clarke’s hand moved further up Lexa’s shoulder, she was slow and methodical wanting to savor this moment as much as Lexa did. Her hands came to rest on Lexa’s neck and with a gentle tug she pulled Lexa in. Lips, freshly coated in Lucas’s Pawpaw, met ones covered in cherry Chapstick as they nipped and sucked and moved in harmony against each other.

Hands continued to roam as tongues were entwined. Lexa’s hand found Clarke’s bare skin and could feel Clarke’s gasp on her tongue. Clarke’s hand wandered beneath Lexa’s shirt eliciting another gasp, this time from Lexa. It had only been a day but it felt like they hadn’t touched each other in years. It was fed by an urge, an urge that was primal and essential and necessary, the urge to touch, to feel, to give pleasure, to love. It was completely overwhelming and was something that Lexa had feared before, how she could be so consumed by this urge.

Now, the only thing she feared was this feeling ever being absent.

Clarke cupped her check as she pulled her in closer. Lexa sometimes felt that for Clarke, she could never be close enough. She mover her head to kiss Clarke from another angle, their noses bumping as she did. Clarke smiled against her lips and Lexa used the distraction to roll Clarke over onto her back. Lexa kissed her chin, then down the column of her throat. She stayed there for a minute gently sucking at the spots she knew were more sensitive for Clarke, but she wasn’t going to leave another mark on her skin unless Clarke asked her. The whole episode earlier at the beach was more than enough to convince Lexa that hickeys were all together a bad idea. But the just the thought of once again marking Clarke was very enticing to Lexa, so she sucked just a little harder.

“Baby.” Clarke husked out into the night air as her back arched into Lexa’s touch. As much as Clarke was enjoying Lexa’s kisses, Lexa didn’t stay in the area long; she was on a mission tonight and had only one destination in goal.

She eased further down Clarke’s body, kissing and sucking at her collarbone, then her chest, making sure to avoid the area she already bruised. She was sure it had to be sore today even though Clarke never complained. She stopped at an erect nipple poking proudly through the thin material of Clarke’s shirt, she gave it a gentle tug with her teeth, which by Clarke’s loud moan, assured her she was on the right path. She didn’t stay there long either; Clarke’s harrumph at her moving away brought a smile to her lips.

Clarke’s disapproval didn’t last long once she realized where Lexa was heading. Lexa pushed up her shirt, laying tender kisses to Clarke’s abdomen. She teasingly took her time here, making a point to kiss every inch of Clarke’s stomach. A slight and gentle nudge on her shoulder told her that Clarke’s patience was at its limits.

Lexa moved down to the top of Clarke’s panties, the pink cotton fabric already very damp. Like the last time she was here, she could smell Clarke’s arousal as it hung heavy in the air, so heavy she could almost feel it on the tip of her tongue. Clarke smelled clean and sweet with just a hint of musk, Lexa wondered if she tasted the same.

She wasn’t going to wonder long. This was her mission, she had yet to taste Clarke and tonight, nothing, nothing, not Raven, not Anya, not a zombie and/or nuclear apocalypse was going to stop her. Lexa hooked her fingers around the waistband as Clarke raised her hips. Lexa slid them down her now tanned legs slowly. She kissed the smooth skin of Clarke’s thighs and calves as she led the fabric down her legs. Clarke didn’t say anything, the rapid rise and fall of her chest told Lexa everything she needed to know.

Lexa slowly kissed her way back up, watching in wonder as Clarke opened her legs wider. She was still smooth, her arousal glistening in the dim light. Unlike their first time together, this time Lexa knew that Clarke was open and wanting only for her, laying herself bare and exposed for only Lexa’s perusal. She wanted to make Clarke feel good, to show her that her trust in her was well placed, that her feelings were accepted and valid as well as returned. She wanted to make love to Clarke, to show Clarke her intentions were nothing but pure. She looked back up at her goddess and smiled reassuringly before taking her left hand and linking their fingers together as she prepared herself to take what Clarke was offering.

She settled comfortably between Clarke’s thighs. Lexa couldn’t wait any longer, she darted her tongue out and took her first taste of the sweet nectar that was her girlfriend. Lexa closed her eyes. Clarke tasted like a summer day on the boardwalk; sweet and salty like freshly popped kettle corn mixed with a hint of coconut and slight sheen of sweat with just the right amount of tang. The taste already permanently etched into her brain, it took Lexa back to some of her fondest memories, memories of her childhood, of happiness and safety and security…

Of home.

Of love.

She delved in deeper, wanting to get drunk off of Clarke. Wanting to get her fill again and again and again till she blacked out from her intoxication. She used her tongue to trace the outline of Clarke’s labia before gently spreading her lips and dipping in. Clarke’s free hand tangled in her frizzy curls, trying to direct her to the place she wanted, but Lexa was having none of it. Lexa dipped down though her folds, painting them with her tongue over and over, collecting every bit of Clarke’s essence that she could devour.

Lexa removed her mouth and slid her long finger over Clarke’s folds, Clarke’s hips reactively bucked into Lexa’s touch. Lexa slid through her slick a few times before slowly sliding in. Clarke moaned loudly as Lexa her her adjust to the intrusion. She could never get enough of the feeling of Clarke holding her in, her velvet walls warm and snug around Lexa.

A perfect fit.

Clarke’s fingers gripped her hand even harder and Lexa took that as a signal to continue. She slid slowly in and out watching as she disappeared and reappeared, her hand slippery with Clarke’s arousal, Clarke’s hips matching the rhythm she set, her moans matching their pace. Lexa looked down, her goddess’s clit standing tall and at attention, begging for Lexa to take it in her mouth.

So she did.

Lexa sucked it in, rolling it on her tongue, employing the perfect amount of pressure and suction. Clarke fisted her hair even harder, Lexa was sure it wasn’t intentional, only purely a reactionary response to her touch. Lexa’s alternated flicks and circles with massaging and lapping. Clarke whimpers got louder with every flick of Lexa’s tongue, her moans noisier with every stroke of Lexa’s finger.

Lexa pulled her finger completely out before quickly replacing it with two, quickening her pace, curling with every stroke, her mouth lovingly trying her hardest to coax every bit of pleasure possible out of Clarke. She wanted more than for Clarke to come undone, she wanted her to melt into the bed beneath her, she wanted her to become untethered to this earth and float off into the night sky above them.

“Lexa.” Clarke breathed out in between whimpers and gasps. Lexa looked up at her goddess, her face and chest flush, her mouth pursed, her eyes hooded yet sincere. Lexa knew what Clarke wanted. She wanted eye contact, she wanted to affirm their growing bond and deepen their shared connection. Lexa could never refuse her.

She looked into Clarke’s eyes as Clarke tumbled over the edge. Lexa feeling every tiny shudder and hearing every little whimper she made. She wasn’t loud; in fact she was noticeably quiet. Lexa worked her mouth and her fingers slowly, thrusts replaced with soft teasing, sucking replaced with light kitten licks. She wanted to bring her down as gently as she worked her up.

She looked into Clarke’s eyes again and noticed something different. They were red and heavy with unshed tears. Lexa immediately crawled back up Clarke’s body wiping her hand quickly on her shirt before cupping Clarke’s cheeks. Clarke dropped her chin down as she closed her eyes and tried to look away form Lexa, her tears escaping down her flushed cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa felt a nervous knot form in her stomach. “Did I hurt you?”

Clarke only shook her head.

Lexa gently guided Clarke’s face up so she could look into her eyes again. Clarke moved her head but kept her eyes averted. Lexa felt panicked and afraid.

“Please.” Lexa whispered. “Tell me. You can tell me anything. I will never judge you.” She pressed a kiss against Clarke’s forehead. “Please.”

Clarke looked up. Eyes the color of the night sky stared deeply into Lexa’s own. Lexa could see the whirlwind of emotions playing out in Clarke’s mind. Could see there was a struggle happening in the darkness of those eyes.

“I don’t know what happened, if felt so good… then it felt like… it was just too much all at once.”

Lexa nodded in understanding as she pressed a kiss to Clarke’s cheeks, her lips chasing away the tears and hopefully the demons.

“Can you just hold me?” Clarke asked.

As if Lexa could ever say no.

“Of course.” She rolled on her back and opened her arms. Clarke settled in quickly, her head tucked under Lexa’s chin. Lexa pulled up the blanket over both of them before she wrapped her arms snugly around Clarke.

She felt more hot tears hit her shirt and her skin, some rolling down her neck and into the sheets below them. She felt Clarke hiccup as she tried to catch her breath and calm down. She pressed kisses to the top of her head and just held her. She honestly didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t want to push Clarke any further than she had. She had to give Clarke the space she needed. She rubbed her hand lazily up and down Clarke’s back, trying to be as soothing as possible. She felt Clarke’s breath slow down and finally even out. Lexa closed her eyes, hoping to let sleep claim her as well.

“No one has ever been as gentle as you.”

The words were barely audible. If the room hadn’t have been completely silent, Lexa was sure she would’ve missed them. Clarke nuzzled further into her chest. After a few minutes, her breath evened out again, this time long and heavy, the busy day and the emotions finally catching up with her.

Lexa’s eyes could only remain fixed on the ceiling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Icebergs Pool/Bondi Beach

I hope to get there someday.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Australian slang translation: Clacker- Anus
> 
> To my Aussie friends I hope I'm using that correctly? If not drop me a line and let me know.


	14. Thoughts and Histories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More on Clarke's past. Fluff and a hint of smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All,
> 
> Another chapter for you from Clarke's POV. More of Clarke's past is revealed as is hopefully her though process. The girls enjoy some quality time in bed. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Clarke opened her eyes. She blinked a few times as she tried to clear the sleep from her vision. She smiled when she realized was wrapped up in strong arms. One of Lexa’s arms was wrapped protectively around her chest, the other her waist. Lexa was big spooning her as they lay on their sides. She could feel Lexa’s hair tickling her cheek and her steady even breath on her shoulder. Clarke moved her head down and kissed Lexa’s forearm, lingering there for a minute to enjoy the smell of her skin. The faint hint of raspberries made Clarke smile again.

Clarke looked out the bedroom balcony door, rubbing at her eyes trying again to clear the sleep. She caught a glimpse of the fairy lights, their twinkle fighting to stay vivid and bright against the light from the rising sun. She yawned and tried to stretch her limbs, moving carefully so as not to disturb Lexa. Her bladder was beginning to make its fullness known, but she wanted to savor this feeling for a few more minutes. Being in Lexa’s arms was her happy place, the place where she felt safe and secure. She felt it in the elevator the first night they had met. Lexa placed her arms around Clarke and Clarke’s world hasn’t been the same since.

Not that she’s complaining.

Oh no. Far from it.

There is something about Lexa. The way she holds her head up, the firmness of her posture, the way she carries herself when she walks, authoritative yet humble. It was what implored Clarke to take a seat next to her that first night at the bar. She was beautiful, yes. The kind of beautiful that was all natural and just honest. The kind of beautiful that comes from deep within a person’s soul, something Clarke doesn’t see too often in her chosen vocation.

But there was also something _safe_ about Lexa; her presence didn’t set off all the alarms in Clarke’s head. Didn’t set off the usual buzzers and claxons that Clarke heard when she thought about a prospective partner, when she thought about someone getting close. Maybe it was Lexa being a police officer and all the training and authority that came with it, or maybe it was just Lexa. The more time Clarke spent with her the more she was convinced it was the girl, not the profession.

Last night was proof enough. Lexa was a kind lover, gentle and sweet and always making sure Clarke was doted upon and well sated. It had been a long time since Clarke had sex, but it had been an even longer time since she had been intimate with someone who was so focused on putting her pleasure first, who so tenderly and lovingly coaxed her to release.

Who made her feel safe when she was at her most vulnerable.

She closed her eyes and swallowed back the tears threatening to prick at them. She cried enough into Lexa’s chest last night. Clarke wasn’t embarrassed. It wasn’t the first time Lexa had seen her cry. It also wasn’t the first time sex had ended for them with tears. They had both become overwhelmed in the heat of the moment by what they were feeling, but always found solace and understanding in the arms of the other.  
Last night was more of the same. Lexa had been so gentle, so careful, so focused on Clarke’s pleasure, so intensely trying to communicate to Clarke though her actions and her body exactly what and how she was feeling. For Clarke, Lexa was an open book when they were intimate, the pages overflowing with text and easy to read. It was a magical give-and-take between them, the way they spoke to each other without ever saying a word. It was a new form of communication for both of them.

It was also at times… overpowering.

Her exes for the most part had focused mostly on themselves; Clarke’s pleasure was almost always secondary. Her ex Luciana had been nice enough, but preferred her sexual partners to be very submissive and as much as Clarke liked her, it was difficult for her to constantly fill the role that Luciana had required. It was the reason they eventually parted ways.

Finn was the last person she was with intimately before Lexa. He was also nice enough; he charmed her with his boyish good looks, casual demeanor and mischievous smile. But try as she might, she just didn’t feel anything for him. She was anxious and lonely and he seemed like a good distraction. She even agreed to have sex with him even though she wasn’t ready for that nor did she feel truly comfortable with him. She thought it would help chase away some of the loneliness and that’s what he expected of her so that’s what she did.

She regretted it the second he touched her.

She cried as he entered her.

Finn didn’t notice. He was too busy staring at the place where their bodies joined to even look at Clarke’s face. One Minute Finn was a name that was well earned and thankfully Clarke only had to deal with her discomfort the few minutes it took for him to finish.

She broke it off with him the next day.

She never told anyone how she felt or how truly awful the experience was, she put on the practiced brave face that her mother had taught her to wear as a child and buried everything deep inside. And even though it was one of the worst sexual experiences of her life and left her falling into an even wider pit of loneliness, in the end, she felt like she had used Finn. She had no intention going in of letting anything come of the relationship. So from her guilt, she offered him a job at Surley’s.

He moved on to the next girl fairly quickly, for some reason leaving Clarke feeling even worse about the whole thing than she had before. But from that terrible start, they had somehow managed to eek out an accidental friendship.

Or so she thought until the night Lexa caught him staring at her cleavage.

The fact that Lexa went right into defense mode, that Lexa seemed to get angry that Finn was objectifying her in such a way _broke_ something in Clarke. Broke the dam of pent up emotions and frustrations that she had carried around for years.

Someone cared.

Someone wanted to protect her.

Clarke had people around her constantly. She was never physically without the presence of other people. Be it Raven or her cast mates or her fans or her handlers, _someone_ was always in her periphery. But all those people, even Raven, as much as she loves her and she does, all expect something from Clarke. All make their living through or spend their hard earned money on Clarke. They all want her time, her photo, her autograph, her opinion, her thoughts, her body, her face, her _life_. Every thing she did, every social media post, every role she took, every con she appeared at, every interview, every photo shoot, every thing she did put money in or took money out of people’s pockets. Even her art, something she did during her little bits of free time to relax, something she cherished, got taken away from her and put on the auction block. She was nothing more than a product, a business with investors and customers and every single one of them wanted a piece of her.

But then she met Lexa.

Pure, sweet Lexa.

A person who came home with her not even knowing who or what she was.

A person that wanted to protect her, not their investment, _her_.

Clarke can’t remember the last time somebody wanted that.

She didn’t want anyone to get it wrong. She was more than grateful for what her fame and success afforded her, this penthouse, her home in LA, the cars, all of the traveling that she loved, all of it. She knew she was lucky, that there were people in this world who struggled to find decent food and clean water. She tried to use her influence and wealth to make a difference, a school in Thailand, a women’s shelter in LA, a medical clinic in the Outback, a food bank in Toronto. It helped ease her conscience and clean away some of the griminess that always seemed to cling to her skin from this business.

But, it was still this business and its people, which ruled her life.

This business that put her in the path of some less than savory individuals.

Lexa’s fingers twitched as she took a deep breath before nuzzling against Clarke’s skin again. Almost as if she was giving Clarke a subconscious reminder that she was still here, that in these arms Clarke was safe, safe from the world outside, safe from the people who demanded things from her… just safe. All Clarke knows is she hasn’t felt this way since she was a little girl wrapped up in her father’s strong arms.

She rubbed the tattoo on her right wrist, the skin raised, but soft under her fingertips. She knew she would have to tell Lexa what it meant, tell Lexa about the most important man in her life.

The last man she really trusted.

Lexa hadn’t asked about Clarke’s tattoos, but Clarke could tell she was curious. Lexa had her own and didn’t offer explanations, so Clarke was certain they meant something significant to her. Maybe Lexa just knew that one tattooed word on Clarke’s skin held the key to a million more words tattooed on her heart.

She knew this was a talk they needed to have, Lexa had given a glimpse into her own past and Clarke wanted to do the same. Even though she knew she had already revealed to her far more than she had to anyone else. She told Lexa about what happened to her, maybe not in so many details, but it was more than she had ever said out loud about it to another person.

No one knew. Not her mother, not her friends, not her co-workers, not her management team or her fans. She thought that maybe Raven had some suspicions, but Raven never said anything to her about it. She didn’t know here the urge came from, what part of herself the conviction came from, but saying those few words to Lexa, words that she new Lexa of all people would understand, was life altering. Letting those words out into the world, confiding them in a person she sincerely trusted, lifted a burden off her shoulders that she didn’t even know was there.  
She felt lighter than she had in years.

She knew she would tell her, that she should tell her more when the time was right. More about the one after Luciana, more about the one that pushed her into Finn’s waiting arms.

The one she would have to see again shortly.

The one that took her by surprise. The one that made her amazed at her own ability to rationalize and make flimsy but creative excuses for. The one who found her weaknesses and exploited them for his benefit. The one who surprised her by showing her how much bad behavior she could and would tolerate. The one who would test her personal boundaries and self worth like no one else ever had before in her life.

The same one that people loved and admired, the one they worshipped and idolized, the one his public thought the world of, the one who was supposed to be the other half of her OTP. The one that social media and the gossip rags still cling to and whisper about, the couple that they still can’t get enough of even though they haven’t been together for years. The one she’s still asked about in interviews and at cons. The one that if she had the courage to speak up, she could so easily ruin him.

The one she still fears.

Lexa muttered something into her skin before taking another deep breath and pressing her cheek against Clark’s bare shoulder. Clarke pushed away her dark thoughts and let this moment just wash over her. Peace and contentment, like the morning sun outside, easily chased away the dark shadows. Lexa mumbled again and Clarke was sure Lexa was dreaming. She hoped it was as pleasant as the ones she had since she met Lexa.

  
Her bladder interrupted her thoughts; it would not be ignored any longer. She huffed at her bodily functions being so fucking rude.

“Babe?” Clarke whispered as she tried to free herself from Lexa’s grip.

“Mmmnn.” Lexa answered.

“Baby.” Clarke whispered again.

“Noooo.” Lexa replied with a soft whine as she squeezed Clarke tighter. “Sleep.”

“I need to use the loo.”

Lexa cracked an eye open and looked at Clarke before sighing and relinquishing her hold. “M’kay.” She rolled over and snuggled into a pillow as Clarke made her way to the bathroom.

Clarke reappeared a few minutes later, bladder empty, face washed and teeth brushed.

Lexa was curled up on her side, still snuggling the pillow she moved onto when Clarke had left the bed, her hair sprawled out over another pillow. (Clarke had a thing for pillows; her bed was overflowing with them.) Clarke smiled as she slowly crawled back under the covers. She assumed the role of big spoon as she shaped her body around Lexa’s sleeping form. She pressed her boobs firmly into Lexa’s back before placing light kisses between her shoulder blades and on the back of her neck. Clarke reached around her and gave one of Lexa’s breasts a gentle squeeze before grazing her fingertips over the now puckered skin of her nipple. Lexa was still asleep, but her body responded to Clarke’s touch. Even though Clarke could feel the wetness between her own legs and was sure by the response of Lexa’s body, Lexa was getting turned on too. Lexa was obviously still tired and Clarke was torn between letting her sleep and not wanting to waste the precious time they had left together.

Clarke sighed and removed her hand. As much as she wanted to roll on top of Lexa and make love to her all morning long. She opted to let her Yankee get some well deserved rest.

She got a muffled mumble in response to her inaction.

Clarke picked her head up and looked down at her sleeping beauty. “Did you say something babe?” She asked in a whisper. Not sure if Lexa was awake or still dreaming.

“Why did you stop?”

She looked down at the now half smirking but eyes still closed face below her. She placed a soft kiss to her cheek. Her mood immensely brighter now that Lexa was awake.

“I thought I’d let you sleep.”

Lexa tutted as she rolled over to face Clarke. Clarke’s arms found their natural place around Lexa’s waist, her hands smoothing over the soft skin of her lower back.

“Your urge to pee is a good alarm clock.” Lexa smiled as she pressed a quick peck to Clarke’s lips. Clarke leaned in to deepen the kiss but Lexa pulled back. “You brushed your teeth?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded.

“Yeah, why?”

“Hold on.” Lexa rolled out of Clarke’s embrace and scampered her way over to the bathroom. Clarke giggled as she watched her girlfriends very naked arse dash across her bedroom. She lay out on her back, stretching the rest of the sleep induced kinks out of her body.

A few minutes later, Lexa came bounding back in, jumping on top of Clarke and straddling her before covering her face in kisses. She pulled back, sitting on top of Clarke but careful to keep her weight off of her. Clarke appreciated how Lexa was always mindful of her comfort. Clarke licked her lips. “Minty.” She smiled.

“I couldn’t let you kiss me with you being all fresh and me having my atrocious morning breath.” Lexa smiled above her, clean white teeth shining luminously.

Clarke ran her hands up Lexa’s thighs, scratching at her hipbones, knowing Lexa was ticklish there. “Your morning breath isn’t atrocious.” It really wasn’t. Clarke smiled sweetly before rolling Lexa over onto her back. She moved slowly down her body, kissing her neck, then moving to her prominent collarbones. Lexa’s hands moved up and down her spine before pulling her back up by the cheeks for a kiss. It was soft and sweet, tongues gently dancing that honeyed waltz of love.

Clarke pulled back and hovered over her. She was even more beautiful like this, with the morning light from the windows casting a soft glow upon her skin as she lay bare and exposed. Her smile was shy, her eyes vulnerable as she watched Clarke. Clarke scratched her fingertips lightly over the plane of Lexa’s stomach. Clarke could feel the strength that lay below the soft skin, muscles gently flexing and trembling with her every move. She wanted to tease Lexa, make the build up torturously slow. But now, as dark green eyes watched her intently, she decided that the only thing she wanted was to see Lexa cum.

She slid down between her leg and dipped her head down, tongue tentative but firm as she explored. She was by now, familiar with Lexa’s taste, salty but fresh and always delicious. She had learned quickly what Lexa’s likes and dislikes were. Lexa had to be eased in, liking long slow licks and some exploration. Clarke’s tongue took a long drag over Lexa’s wetness from bottom to top, careful to avoid her clit. Lexa was far too sensitive at first and Clarke knew not to go right in for the kill.

Clarke gave another long lick then turned her head sideways as she sucked Lexa’s labia into her mouth gently, and then repeated the motion on the other side. The loud moan Lexa released was reward enough for Clarke. She could sense by her occasional timidness that being vocal in bed was probably something new for Lexa, so every time she earned an audible noise from her Yankee it was a small, but celebrated victory. She dipped her tongue into her entrance and Lexa’s hips moved up to meet her mouth. Clarke knew she couldn’t reach far with her tongue, but clearly Lexa was enjoying the sensation. She dipped in and out slowly, Lexa hips meeting her thrusts. And while Clarke was enjoying this, she wanted to give Lexa more.

Clarke withdrew her tongue and moved up to her clit, using her free hand to ease the hood back as she wrapped her lips around it.

“Oh fuck!” Lexa cried out as her left hand quickly moved from the sheets to Clarke’s head, even in her excitement, Lexa remained gentle, only lightly tangling her fingers in Clarke’s hair. Lexa never pushed or pulled, even though Clarke was certain she wanted to. She looked down at Clarke. Her right hand tenderly traced Clarke’s brow and cheekbone with her thumb, as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

Clarke looked into her eyes, the verdant forest that she swore she could get lost in for the rest of her life.

The eyes she loves.

The eyes of the woman she loves.

She _loves_ her.

She’s _in love_ with her.

Clarke loves Lexa.

Though it isn’t really news to Clarke.

But maybe in this moment, it isn’t news to Lexa either.

Lexa’s teeth released her lip, the corners of them now curled into a small but sweet smile.

Clarke wanted to show her how much she loved her.

She slowly inserted one finger as she sucked gently on Lexa’s clit. Lexa’s head lolled back onto the pillow, the sensation too intense.

Clarke pulled back for a second. “Does that feel good baby?” She murmured breathlessly against Lexa’s skin.

Lexa nodded.

“Tell me baby, tell me how you feel.” She knew she already had Lexa’s consent, but Clarke liked to occasionally check in with Lexa to make sure she was ok with everything that was happening.

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s… uh… good, so good.”

Satisfied with that answer Clarke continued her work. While her fingers weren’t as long as Lexa’s, it really didn’t seem to matter, she slid in again and she swore she her body was made to compliment Lexa’s. She seemed to fit Clarke perfectly. And God, Lexa felt so good around her, so warm and soft, so open and yet so tight.

“Ohh.” Lexa’s back arched as Clarke hit a particularly sensitive spot with her tongue.

“Cum for me baby.” Clarke purred in her sultriest voice, wanting to push Lexa over the edge.

She scratched her nails down Lexa’s stomach and Lexa stilled for a second before bucking her hips into Clarke’s mouth, her hand tightening ever so carefully in Clarke’s hair as she rode out her orgasm. Clarke pressed her tongue flat against Lexa’s clit, feeling Lexa’s heartbeat pulsing through the organ, the rhythm teasing the tip of her tongue. She looked up at her, a sheen of sweat covered her skin, her chest heaved as she fought to catch her breath, her eyes were still closed tightly as her free hand traced over Clarke’s hand on her abdomen.

It was beautiful sight.

Clarke withdrew from Lexa and slowly crawled up her body, dropping occasional kisses to her dewy skin. She finally reached her face; a sly smirk and glittering green eyes greeted her once she reached her destination.

“Good Morning.”

“Mornin.”

She loved Lexa in the morning, when she was a little bit sweeter and definitely softer, her voice gravely with sleep but not too scratchy. Her body loose and relaxed, her smile easy and gentle.

Lexa pulled on her hips, pulling her closer. She raised her head up for a kiss and Clarke hummed in contentment as their lips met. She could easily spend the rest of her mornings like this, wrapped up in Lexa.

Happy.

She settled into the woman below her, her hips slotting between Lexa’s, her body molding around Lexa’s frame, all their pieces fitting perfectly into place. She kissed the under side of Lexa’s chin and jaw. Damn, her jaw, sharp enough to cut glass, but still so feminine. Her jawline was definitely a big turn on for Clarke. She peppered more open mouth kisses to her neck and jaw, softly sucking at the more sensitive patches of Lexa’s skin. Not trying to leave a mark, but not trying to not leave a mark either. The sighs and whimpers she was pulling from Lexa made her smile against her damp skin.

“So… that’s a nice way to start the day.” Lexa stretched out her back before wrapping her arms tightly around Clarke. Her lips finding Clarke’s with a smile.

“It is.”

Clarke laid her head on Lexa’s chest. She heard the constant and strong heartbeat beneath her ear, a calming thrum that could lull her into the deepest of sleeps. Clarke fought the urge to close her eyes and give into the call of a peaceful slumber.

She kissed the underside of Lexa’s jaw again. “So my Yankee, what’s on the agenda for today?”

Lexa smiled wider as she kissed to top of Clarke’s head.

“How do you feel about climbing a bridge?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sydney Harbor Bridge is Next!!


	15. Rocks and Coathangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and Fluff and Fluff, and maybe some exploring of Sydney.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!!!!
> 
> I know it been a while but here I am with 5000+ words for ya! I have picked up a second job so I have no idea when I'll have the next chapter out, but please stick with it. Hopefully it won't take as long. Hope you like it!
> 
> (As always, I have no beta so any and all mistakes are mine.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Sydney Harbor Bridge was number two on Lexa’s list. Her lips stretched into a wide smile at the thought. She had almost scratched this experience off her list when she decided that she was still going to go to Australia. This was the place where she was going to propose to Octavia, on top of the bridge at night, with the glittering lights of Sydney below them. It would have been perfect, at least that’s what Lexa had thought at the time. She shook that thought out of her head as she took a sip of water as she waited for Clarke to come back from the restroom.

Clarke reappeared a few moments later. Even just the simple act of stepping out of the bathroom, had Lexa internally swooning. Clarke was dressed in cut-off jeans shorts that accentuated her toned legs, navy blue Chucks, and a very tight white V-neck tee that once not so long ago, belonged to Lexa. Lexa felt her chest puff with pride at Clarke once again wearing something that was hers. She also deliberately chose to ignore the Dallas Cowboys baseball cap that topped off Clarke’s look.

“Ready babe?” Clarke asked, her smile infectious.

“Yes ma’am.”

Anya and Raven were still mysteriously (or not so mysteriously) MIA, so it was just the two of them. They had spent a nice afternoon walking around Sydney Harbor. Even though she hadn’t lived in Sydney full time for several years, Clarke made quite an excellent tour guide. They had spent the day roaming around the Harbor area, Clarke pointing out several interesting spots, relaying history and anecdotes only a native Sydney-ite would know. During their time exploring the sights as “locals,” Clarke had revealed that she actually grew up across the way in Darling Point and that she could see the bridge from her childhood bedroom window.

Lexa had so many questions on the tip of her tongue, she didn’t want to push Clarke, but there was so much she wanted to know about her goddess. So much she felt that she needed to know. Lexa wanted to know everything about her. She felt like Clarke was giving her an opening, so she decided to take it.

She reached out and tangled her fingers with Clarke’s “Tell me more about the view from your bedroom?”

Clarke smiled, it was sad, woeful smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Lexa felt a knot form in her stomach; she instantly regretted asking Clarke for more. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to.”

Clarke pulled Lexa in and gave her a chaste kiss, before leading them to a retaining wall where they could sit for a spell. She picked a spot that overlooked the Man O’ War Steps and the blue-green water of the harbor. Clarke looked out at the sea, glancing over at the Opera House before looking down at their joined hands.

“The house I grew up in has been in my family for ages. It was built in the mid 1800’s. 1840 maybe? My Dad was born there, so was my Granddad and my Great Granddad.” Clarke chuckled. “You get the idea.” Lexa nodded. “It’s a pretty big place, six bedrooms, a pool, sunroom, courtyard and gardens.” Clarke shrugged off the size of her childhood home as no big deal, but Lexa couldn’t even imagine growing up in a home like that. She grew up in a tiny two-bedroom apartment, in a shit neighborhood. Clarke clearly came from wealth; Lexa was certain Clarke never had to worry about money a day in her life. Lexa sighed and chased away the lingering hint of a doubt that was trying to settle in her brain. No, they were beyond this. And even if they weren’t, this wasn’t the time for her self-doubt. This was about Clarke. Lexa reached over and traced small outlines on Clarke’s exposed thigh.

Clarke smiled softly at the gesture before looking back out at the water. “Its technically my house now, since I’m the only child. But I have no interest in staying there, not right now.”

Clarke fell silent and even though Lexa had so many more lines of questions to pursue, so much more to learn about this beautiful woman, but she could sense that she had already pressed her enough for one day. She leaned over, catching Clarke off guard and laid a soft and sweet kiss on her lips, feeling Clarke’s smile stretch against her mouth.

_I’m here for you._

Lexa didn’t say it, she hoped her kiss held enough assurance for Clarke, conveyed that whenever Clarke was ready, no matter where they were or how many miles separated them, she would be there to listen.

Clarke nodded, it was a slight and almost imperceptible nod. But Lexa saw it.

After their talk, Clarke had taken her to a local artisan bazaar called the Rocks Market. Lexa had seen the market in her Fodor’s guide and hoped to hit it up with Anya right before they went back home, but she didn’t tell Clarke that. She let Clarke lead her though the tents and stalls that made up the market. They took their time and explored every booth and every food vendor. Lexa got a chance to catch up on her souvenir shopping. She got her mom some handmade Olive Oil and Lavender soap and organic loose tea that Clarke had raved about. She got her Aunt Jackie a small wooden sculpture of a koala bear, Anya some organic lip balm that was stored in a seashell and a few other odds and ends for her co-workers and friends back home.

One thing Lexa did learn (again) about Clarke today was that this girl knew her food. They had a quick lunch at the Turkish stand that Clarke had recommended. Lexa had a falafel lavash wrap with a cucumber salad that was beyond excellent and Clarke had four shrimp and chicken skewers glazed with a lemon mint sauce that she devoured.

Clarke then led her to a chocolatier stand where Clarke declared she needed to get her chokkie fix on. Clarke picked out a dozen truffles of various flavors that included passionfruit, pomegranate, hazelnut and champagne. Before Lexa could even get a chance to look over the vendor’s other offerings, they were off to the next stand. This one sold various wines and while Lexa wasn’t much of a wine drinker, apparently Clarke was. Clarke picked out two bottles of rose, one bottle of a raspberry wine and a bottle of Penfolds Grange for Lexa’s mother. Lexa instantly became glassy eyed in the middle of the wine tent. She was so touched that Clarke hadn’t even met her mother yet, but was thoughtful enough to buy her a gift. “I need to make a good impression Lex.” was all she said as she soothed Lexa’s tears away in front of the shiraz display.

They made it to the next tent without tears or incident. This one was full of freshly baked breads and colorful cheeses. Lexa grabbed a shopping basket, knowing they would probably need one. They sampled some Damper, which reminded Lexa of an Irish soda bread. Clarke added a loaf of that as well as a loaf of Rewena Paroa which Clarke explained was a traditional Maori potato bread from New Zealand. Clarke also added a tin of Anzac bikkies to their basket.

Lexa smiled at the pure domesticity of this moment. Shopping with Clarke, holding her hand as they looked over the selection of cheeses that the merchant had to offer. Deciding which ones to try and which ones to buy. Lexa imagined many more afternoons like this. Afternoons filled with grocery shopping, bill paying, folding laundry, washing dishes, and tidying up. All with Clarke as her happy domestic companion.

Wait, does Clarke even do her own laundry?

Or pay her own bills?

Don’t rich people have other people to do that for them?

Lexa wasn’t as upset by these questions as she thought she would be. She just genuinely didn’t know.

But she wanted it. Those long weekend afternoons working side by side to knock off their weekly list of chores. The simple bliss of existing together, sharing the same space and same responsibilities, as partners, as equals. Lexa had gotten a taste of what that life would be like this past week and she was drunk off the possibilities.

Sure, they had a long way to go before that was possible. But here they were, working at it, making it happen, even if it was for just a few more days.

Lexa wanted more.

She wanted it _all_.

She wanted it so much her chest began to ache. She needed to ground herself.

She looked over at Clarke squinting to read the ingredients on the block of cheese she was holding. Lexa smiled, knowing that Clarke probably needed her glasses to read the small print. “Vegetable rennet.” Clarke spoke out loud before turning to Lexa. “This is good for you to eat babe, it’s veggo friendly.” She announced proudly.

“You know about vegetable rennet?” Lexa asked as she put the block of smoked cheddar in their basket.

“Yeah.” Clarke replied. “I uh…may have done some veggo research. Just so I don’t accidentally feed you something not vegetarian.” For once it was Clarke with a blush on her cheeks and not Lexa.

“You did?” Lexa asked quietly. Her adoration for her goddess growing more each second. Octavia couldn’t be bothered to learn about Lexa’s diet which led to her being unknowingly fed a variety of meat products and subjected her to a deluge of complaints about how it restricted Octavia’s own food choices. Octavia didn’t have to agree with her diet, Lexa only asked that Octavia at least respect her choice. Hell, even Anya took five minutes to Google what a vegetarian could and could not eat.

But Clarke, Clarke did research. Clarke took the time to learn and Lexa could not even begin to express how much that meant to her. Clarke was sweet and kind and empathetic.

Clarke was _everything_.

Lexa couldn’t help herself; she reached out and touched Clarke’s cheek for only a second before puling her in by her neck and kissing her deeply. She felt Clarke hum into the kiss and smiled against her lips. She pulled back and saw only pure adoration in the blue eyes before her. Lexa’s mouth opened before she could stop it.

“Clarke. I-“

“Ms. Griffin?” A woman behind the counter at the bread and cheese stand interrupted Lexa’s near proclamation. “Yes?” Clarke hesitantly removed her gaze from Lexa’s face and turned her attention to the woman.

“I just wanted to know where could we send this?” The woman pointed to the now full crate of food and wine Clarke and Lexa had accumulated throughout the day. “Um, hold on let me give you the address.” She reached for the basket full of cheese and bread that Lexa was holding and Lexa kindly handed it over. Clarke leaned in. “Is your hotel ok? That’s where we’re staying tonight, right?”

“Uh huh.” Lexa answered quickly causing Clarke to give her a slightly perplexed look. “Did you want to get anything else?” Clarke asked and Lexa eyed the crate on the counter again. “No.” She chuckled. “I think we’ve already cleaned them out.” Clarke smiled and gave her a quick peck on the lips before heading over to the counter.

Lexa watched Clarke walk away. Eyes drifting up and down her body as she sauntered sexily off to the counter. She was without a doubt the most beautiful creature Lexa had ever had the pleasure of knowing. And it was so much more than just her physical beauty, she was sweet and kind and in spite of everything that may have happened to her, she was still full of passion and tenderness.

Lexa knew she was going to marry her one day.

There was no doubt in her mind.

She watched as Clarke reached into her pocket and pulled out a stack of bills to pay for their goods. “Shit.” She cursed herself. She forgot to give her money to pay for their stuff. She watched as Clarke smiled at the woman and wrote down and address on a piece of paper. The woman shook Clarke’s hand and Clarke turned and walked back to Lexa, a sly smirk on her face.

Clarke clearly noticed the wistful look on Lexa’s face. “What’s that look for?”

Lexa shrugged her shoulders. “Just thinking about stuff.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist before pecking her lips. “What stuff?”

“Ms. Griffin?” The annoying woman behind the counter called out again. Lexa was slightly grateful that she wouldn’t have to answer Clarke’s question.

Clarke just grinned. “I left the delivery fee for you.”

**

An hour later they were stood at the opera house side of the Sydney Harbor Bridge, both of them holding hands as they gazed up at the towering mass of steel and concrete. “You ready for this?” Clarke asked. Lexa turned and kissed her cheek.

“Always.”

Clarke had affectionately called the bridge the “coathanger.” It was apparently what native Aussie’s had termed the bridge due to its arched shape and Lexa loved it. They filtered in to the reception/cashier/learning center area. Lexa went over to the desk and picked up their passes. She had already ordered and paid for them while Clarke was in the shower this morning and Clarke didn’t press the issue. This was officially a date and it was still Lexa’s turn to pay.

“Here we go.” Lexa spoke as she handed Clarke her pass. “I can’t believe you’ve never done this before.”

Clarke shrugged as she tucked her Cowboys hat into one of the complimentary lockers. “It was always on my bucket list of things to do. I just never got around to it.” She then put the lanyard attached her pass around her neck before sidling over to Lexa. She slid her hands up Lexa’s exposed forearms before gently grasping her at the elbows. “I’m glad I’m doing it now, with you.”

Lexa smiled. “Me too.”

“Gd’evening everyone!” A cheerful man of about twenty with black hair, a finely groomed beard and deep hazel eyes greeted the group. “My name in Angus and I’ll be your guide for this evening.” His Australian Accent was smooth and near perfect, not as perfect as Clarke’s but close. “Everyone in Group C, please follow me.”

Lexa looked down at her lanyard. “That’s us.”

They were led to a queuing area near a large bay of windows that overlooked the harbor. Under the windows there was a few displays regarding the construction of the bridge that piqued Lexa’s interest. She made an attempt to wander over to the displays before Angus stopped her. She and Clarke were both handed a clipboard with stack of legal releases and waivers to sign. They both signed until their hands started to go numb and handed their clipboards back to Angus. Angus perused the papers quickly and once they got his stamp of approval, he handed them two nylon windbreaker jumpsuits and two safety harnesses.

Lexa slipped on the blue, gray and black jumpsuit. It was loose enough to give her ample mobility, but not too loose. She watched as Clarke zipped up her own suit, her eyes intently focused on the swell of Clarke’s breast as they were covered by the nylon fabric of the suit. Lexa had never considered herself a boob kind of girl before, but to be fair, Clarke’s boobs were _fantastic_. And she did have Clarke’s permission to look, so she did.

Apparently not so discreetly, as Lexa glanced up and immediately noticed Clarke’s playful and knowing smirk. Lexa averted her eyes as she turned an interesting shade of crimson, knowing full well she had been caught red-handed eyeing Clarke’s goodies. She tried to look everywhere but at Clarke, suddenly finding a display about the type of concrete used for the bridge extremely interesting, not even noticing how Clarke’s smile only grew wider the more flustered Lexa seemed to get.

Angus’s voice snapped her attention back to the task at hand. They strapped in to their climbing harnesses as directed and were given a quick but thorough explanation of the gear and how it worked. Lexa tried her best to pay close attention, knowing this information was probably important, but kept getting distracted by Clarke’s playful and increasingly very naughty smirk. She really wasn’t doing anything in particular but standing there in her jumpsuit, the fading sun was catching her hair just right, as it cast a warm glow over her features, accentuating what was already perfection in Lexa’s mind. And her smile, her damn smile was flirty, filthy and disarming all at the same time. Lexa just couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. Clarke knew she held a captive audience of one and couldn’t help but to tease. “Pay attention Yank.” She whispered in Lexa ear.

“How can I?” Lexa whispered back. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” And she meant it.

Now it was Clarke’s turn to blush.

“Ladies?” Their tour guide Angus spoke loudly and everyone in their group turned to look at them. “I know your excited to get up there, but this part is important so please, keep focused, yeah?”

“Yes sir.” Lexa replied quickly, causing everyone surrounding them to chuckle and snicker.

Angus smiled. “No worries. I know you Americans are an eager bunch, but let’s just get though the formalities first.”

Lexa nodded eagerly and Clarke looked down at her shoes to hide her smile.

Angus got through the rest of his safety speech and Lexa paid close attention, _this_ time. Angus then announced that it was time to depart. They walked out of the queuing area to the street level of the bridge. Clarke reached for Lexa’s hand as Lexa took her first look out over the harbor from this perspective. The sun was just beginning to descend. The sky just starting to fade into various shades of red and gold. Even now, as the cars whisked noisily by them, Lexa was entranced. She looked back to Clarke who’s smile mirrored her own.

Angus led the group to the first set of stairs, more like a ladder than stairs, and instructed everyone in the group that it was time to make sure their harnesses were secure and properly strapped on before clipping everyone’s safety leash to the cable that lined all of the walkways. After making sure everyone was safe and secure, Angus headed to the front of the group and clipped on his own leash. “Alright everyone! Let’s climb!”

  
Lexa and Clarke stayed toward that rear of the group and were the last two people to begin the ascent. Lexa had chivalrously suggested that Clarke go first up the ladder. Her intentions were pure; she had only wanted to make sure Clarke was safely in her field of vision at all times. But it also put Lexa directly at eye-level with Clarke’s perfectly shaped behind; a behind that Lexa was positive could only have been sculpted by the gods themselves. It was right in her eye-line. What was she supposed to do? Not look?

“Woods, you’re missing the view.” The smirk Clarke threw over her shoulder was damn near smoldering. Lexa felt the heat flow from Clarke’s smirk directly through her body and out onto the steel step below her feet. Damn, this woman was something else.

“No. I’m not.” Lexa threw back her own smirk. She put all her effort into what she hoped was her sexiest, most panty dropping, most flooded basement smirk, hoping to have Clarke swooning to the point of possibly needed an emergency rescue from this bridge. Clarke stopped her climb and smiled in return, something a little more innocent, but just as devilishly sweet. Lexa internally fist pumped as she took this look as a confident sign of her victory. She had made Clarke swoon like a Goddamned Disney Princess! Who said she had no game?

Little did Lexa know that in her attempt to drop Clarke’s panties, her face looked like she had stepped on a piece of glass and was now bleeding profusely from her foot. She also didn’t know that Clarke found her incredibly awkward dorkiness even more seductive than whatever look Lexa was trying to give her. Clarke just shook her head and continued to climb.

The wind picked up the further they climbed. Lexa was glad she thought ahead and put her hair into a braid this morning. After a few minutes they hit the first viewing platform. Lexa leaned on the hand railing and looked down watching the cars whipping across the bridge. Clarke slid up next to her, wrapping her arm around her waist. Lexa looked up at her and smiled. Her golden hair was flowing in the breeze; her smile was easy and bright. She looked genuinely happy. Lexa stood up and pulled Clarke in by her waist, the temptation to kiss her could not be ignored. They kissed softly, lips gently exploring, hands remaining in respectful places, just enjoying the moment and each other. At least until a well-mannered throat clearing pulled them apart.

“Excuse me ladies,” Angus interrupted very politely a slight blush tingeing his chiseled features. “It’s time to continue.”

Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek. “C’mon Yank.” She whispered before moving behind the group and continuing on.

They climbed the next set of steep stairs, then moved though an elaborate maze of catwalks to the next viewing area. Lexa stopped for a second when her brain caught up and she finally noticed how high they had climbed. They were about 350 feet up. Twilight was really setting in and the cars below now looked like blurry Matchbox cars. Lexa felt her body start to panic, she wasn’t afraid of heights but they were so far up. Her heart started thumping rapidly against her rib cage and she had to stop for a second to catch her breath. Clarke noticed instantly.

“You ok babe?” She asked as she placed a hand reassuringly on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Lexa nodded. “We are just really high.”

“Ok.” Clarke immediately understood. “You’re ok. Just take a deep breath.” She rubbed Lexa’s back as she whispered reassuring words into her ear. Thankfully everyone else in their group was too busy taking selfies to notice what was happening. Lexa closed her eyes let the sound of Clarke’s voice sooth her into a calmer frame of mind. It was strange the effect Clarke had on, an hour ago she was getting Lexa all hot and bothered and now she was purring into her ear, her accent calming and soothing. The more she focused on her goddess’s voice, the more she felt herself being pulled back to center. After about a minute she felt much better.

“Thank you. I don’t know what happened. I’m not afraid of heights, but…” Lexa shrugged, she couldn’t really identify what had happened to her. “I don’t know.”

“Hey.” Clarke cupped her cheeks and gave her lips a quick kiss. “It’s alright. Just take your time.”

“I’m ok.” Lexa nodded, she kissed Clarke again. The group was getting ready to start the climb to the apex of the bridge. She grabbed Clarke’s hand and Clarke gave her a gentle but reassuring squeeze. They were ready to move on.

Lexa kept her eyes glued to Clarke’s ass, mostly to distract herself from the towering height, but also because it was _Clarke’s_ ass, and in doing so she was able to successfully keep putting one foot in front of the other. About a half hour or so later, they were taking the final few steps up to the zenith of the bridge.

Angus stopped the tour directly in the middle of the bridge span. “Congrats everyone!” He announced. “You made it to the top of the Harbor Bridge!” And of course, everyone in their group clapped, Lexa and Clarke included. “So just to get our bearings,” Angus pointed behind him, on the pother side of the bridge is Milson’s Point and Bradfield Park. To my right is Blues Bay and Blue Point. To my left of course is the Opera House and Sydney Harbor. We will be here for about twenty-five minutes, so take your time for sightseeing and snapping some photos. I’ll make an announcement five minutes out before we get ready to begin our descent. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.” Angus paused for a minute. “Right then, enjoy the view!”

Lexa and Clarke eased over to the edge, Clarke’s body always staying in some form of contact with Lexa’s. Twilight was settling over the city and with it the sky became awash with nature’s most vibrant hues of blues and pinks. The clouds faded from dark gray tips to slate blue middles, to underbellies colored in a bright blush. The ocean below turned from green-blue to purple-magenta, fooling the viewer into thinking the briny crystal blue depths had morphed into something like an Easter egg pastel. Like nature had stained the glass surface of the sea with a new color palette. The sun was falling low into the city, swallowing Sydney whole with its array of oranges, golds, and reds.

Lexa was speechless. Mother Nature was putting on a full show for them, and she was resplendent in this display of her grandeur. It was a sunset unlike any Lexa had ever seen before. The sunsets over the East River paled in comparison. Even the one she had spent the previous night watching with her goddess. She wished that she could capture this moment in her mind’s eye forever, or that she could express herself though art like Clarke could and spend the next few hours splashing paint across a canvas until she reproduced it perfectly. She took out her phone, praying that the battery would hold after such a long day and snapped as many pics as she could, from every angle she could manage.

The white sails of the Opera House took on the dusty rose hue of the sky; the view from above was magnificent. Lexa snapped a few more pics as she glanced down at the people below them; they looked like ants scuttling about trying like she was to get the best photos.

Clarke nudged her shoulder to get her attention as she pointed out the lights from the amusement park across the bay springing to life, stealing some of the awe from the still glorious sunset. As each light flickered on, the white twinkling Ferris wheel, the red and blue neon of the concessions, the flashing yellow safety light on top of the free-fall tower, Clarke’s eyes and smile grew wider with an unbridled excitement.

_She likes amusement parks._  Lexa thought as she smiled at Clarke’s interest. Lexa immediately filed away that newly unearthed fact for another day as the lights and sounds of Coney Island played quietly through her mind.

The lights elsewhere in the city began to flicker, each building, streetlight and vehicle casting its own warm glow before settling in for the night. It was as if the city took on a second life, a new energy seemed to some with it. A buzz that seemed palpable, that filled Lexa with its energy and brought a smile to her face.

Clarke pulled out her own phone and snapped a few pics herself, clearly as awestruck as Lexa. She then pulled Lexa into her body wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she snapped at least a hundred selfies of them, some silly, some smiling, a few hugging, and even more kissing, all in every pose imaginable. Angus came by and asked if they needed a proper photo. Clarke nodded her head as she handed him her phone. They wrapped their arms around each other’s waist and held each other close. Angus took five pics, just to make sure they got at least one that was satisfactory. Clarke scrolled through them as soon as Angus handed her phone back, smiling as she landed on the perfect one and turned her phone to show it to Lexa.

They were both smiling, teeth showing and cheeks stretched wide, the city positively glowing behind them, their bodies intertwined. They looked so… _happy._ Lexa nodded her approval and Clarke sent her a copy of the pic. (Little did Lexa know, but that photo would sit in a frame on her nightstand for the next sixty plus years.)

Lexa then looked up at the Australian flag that flew proudly over the bridge. It was much, much larger than the one she had on her ceiling as a child. It waved proudly in the strong breeze; it’s blue, red and white fabric snapping crisply with each gust of wind that passed through it. Lexa smiled. This was both the symbolic and physical embodiment of her childhood dream fulfilled. She was here, in Australia, doing something she had longed to do for as long as she could remember.

She felt Clarke’s arms wrap around her before Clarke rested her head on her shoulder. Clarke looked up at the flag, looking on silently as it continued to stand watch proudly over Sydney. Lexa snuggled into her embrace. She came here looking to fulfill a dream and maybe shake an old ghost. But as she stood in the warmth of Clarke’s arms, she knew she had found so much more.

She made a mental note to send Aunt Jackie a thank you card for taking her to that zoo all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang translations!
> 
> Damper- Traditional Australian soda bread that is usually baked in the coals of a campfire.  
> Chokkie- Austarlian slang for chocolate.  
> Bikkie- Australian slang for biscuits/cookies. 
> 
> Next chapter........... *whispers* smut!


	16. Purple Pu**y Eater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa sort out some things. Lexa makes a call. Clarke introduces Lexa to something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been forever! I know. Real life has gotten in the way. And I did officially have to put my computer down. RIP MacBook Pro (aka Mac) 2011-2018. You shall be missed. 
> 
> FYI. There is a slight time jump in this chapter (only a few days)
> 
> I hope this long and somewhat smutty chapter makes up for the wait. Tags have been updated. There is also a pic at the end that’s related to this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Three days….

That’s how much time Lexa had left in Australia. How many mornings she had left to wake up next to Clarke. How many days she had left to kiss her, hold her, to make love to her.

Two nights…

That’s how many evenings she had to fall asleep with Clarke in her arms. How many sunsets left to watch together. How many evenings they could spend whispering sweet nothings into the darkness.

Lexa sighed as she rubbed at the sleep clinging to her eyes. Clarke was still comfortably snoozing against her bare shoulder, her face smooshed up against Lexa’s skin, her arms wrapped securely around Lexa’s body. Clarke was a possessive sleeper; she clung on to Lexa like a baby koala would cling to its mother. It was one of the many things Lexa loved about her. It was one of the many things Lexa was going to miss once she was back on the other side of the world.

She closed her eyes, hoping it would stop the loud ticking of the clock that seemed to be ever present inside her head. The clock that was counting down the hours, minutes and then seconds until she had to leave Clarke. Unfortunately, there was no snooze button.

They had spent the last few days soaking up each other’s presence. The day after the bridge climb, they went to the Royal National Park and swam in the figure eight natural pools. It was a bit of a difficult hike to get there, and Lexa was impressed with Clarke’s endurance and physicality, although she shouldn’t have been. She’s witnessed firsthand how much muscle control Clarke had over her body.

The next day they spent the morning on a guided private tour exploring Sydney’s LGBT neighborhoods and landmarks (partially narrated by Clarke, Lexa was very impressed with how much Clarke knew about her city’s LGBT history.) The day concluded in a romantic boat cruise around Sydney Harbor which included a sunset dinner and several glasses of very expensive champagne, followed by a night spent in Clarke’s very large bathtub drinking even more very expensive champagne (and maybe licking it off of each other’s naked bodies) while surrounded by puffy clouds of bubbles and steam vapors.

Lexa smiled at the memory before looking over at the large picture windows that made up one wall of her hotel room. She had no idea what time it was, but she knew it was late. The city was painted in a deep shade of navy, the lights from the city glittered softly in the distance. The moon would occasionally peek from behind the slate gray clouds that littered the sky. Clarke’s hands squeezed reflexively against Lexa’s abdomen for a second before relaxing again. Lexa looked down at her, Clarke was still soundly asleep, a slight grin gracing her beautiful features. Lexa smiled as she placed a kiss to Clarke's forehead. Clarke was lost in a dream and Lexa wanted nothing more than to join her in whatever happy place she had found.

They had spent the night tangled up in each other again, hands moving slow, moans soft and kisses gentle. Even though their time together was quickly coming to a close, last night neither of them wanted to hurry. Clothes were removed with care, lips were generously applied to soft skin, words of love were whispered into eager ears. They both took their time worshipping each other’s bodies and feeding each other’s souls.

Lexa couldn’t imagine leaving this bed, let alone leaving Clarke. She could feel the squeeze of anxiety in her chest. How was she going to do this?

Her anxiety was put on hold with the sound of Clarke's cellphone vibrating against the nightstand. Lexa watched as the light from her screen briefly illuminated the room before flickering off. Lexa tried to close her eyes again and calm her racing mind as she snuggled further into Clarke's embrace. A few seconds later, the loud buzz and bright light caused her eyes to open again. Lexa looked over at the offending device as it lit up and buzzed again. Clarke didn't move, she was still plastered firmly against Lexa’s side. The phone buzzed again and Lexa groaned. She lifted up her arm, careful not to disturb Clarke, and reached over for the device. She had no intention of prying into Clarke's business, but she knew that Raven was still essentially MIA and given the time of night, wanted to make sure whoever was trying to contact Clarke wasn’t in the middle of some dire emergency.

Her fingertips latched on to the device and pulled it into her view. Clarke’s social media accounts were blowing up again. Lexa’s eyes widened when she saw why.

Instagram  
**EXORACHFAN4LIFE** \- OMG!!! @CGriffin and this hottie again!  
**BELLARKERSUNITED** \- Wha? She’s with that girl again. Why she not with Bellamy???  
**BellARKEBABy420** \- Damn, I love her with Bell, but that gurl is foine. Who she?  
**JasmineTay** \- Lowkey Jealous that @CGriffin seems to be taken! Lol. JK. Luv ya Griff!  
**EXOdusFanBrasil** \- look at the heart eyes the brunette gives my Clarke! So sweet. I ship it!  
**RachelisBae** \- hawtttie! Griffin sure knows how to pick em!

Twitter  
Wait @CGriff is dating again?  
@CGriff Who is that BABE?  
@CGriff OMG! WHY NOT @BigBellBlake??????  
@CGriff www.tmz.com/ClarkeGriffindatingagain

Messages  
**RaeRaeBoomBoom** \- Uh Clarke you may want to check your sm.  
**Unknown** \- Clarke this is Anya. Raven gave me your number I hope that’s alright. Please tell Lexa to charge her phone and text me when you get this. Thank you.  
**Maya** \- Clarke, call me ASAP. I have major news outlets looking for the scoop about your new relationship. We need to get ahead of this before any of the tabloids find out who she is and issue a preemptive press release. Call me!  
**Dr. Abigail Griffin-** Clarke, ring me please when you get a chance.  
**Bellamy** - Who's the girl Clarke?

Lexa quickly reached over for her own phone and opened Instagram. She scrolled through the account she may have created to (in a very non-threatening way) kinda secretly stalk Clarke. Lexa only had to scroll two pics deep before she saw what the all fuss was all about. It was a pic of her and Clarke climbing up the ladder on the bridge from a few days ago. It was caught from the side and it was right when she was trying to give Clarke her most smoldering look. Looking at her profile now it looked more like she was in pain but given the smile she could clearly see on the actress’s face and that night's exceptional performance from Clarke, Lexa knew it had worked.

The photog even managed to capture their PG make out session on the first observation deck. Who ever took these pictures took them from ground level, clearly not a part of their group, but must have used and actual camera with a pretty good zoom to catch them up on the the first observation deck. And while her face was obscured in that pic, there was no doubt it was Clarke she was kissing.

Clearly anyone there could have recognized Clarke and started snapping pictures of her. Lexa was actually quite surprised this didn’t happen more often. Clarke was relatively well known (to everyone apparently except Lexa) and aside from the first picture of them at Surley’s, they had somehow managed to keep a pretty low profile. Lexa thought about the logistics of that for a minute and her chest clenched at just how accessible Clarke was to her public. She remembered how easy it was to get into Clarke’s apartment. It literally took no planning or forethought. Just a little bit of smooth talking got her right to Clarke’s front door and Lexa wasn’t really known to be a smooth talker.

Clarke didn’t have any bodyguards and aside from what the building she lived in offered to all its residents, had no extra security or surveillance systems to speak of. Raven had a key, but how securely did she keep that key? Who else had access to Clarke’s apartment? Other friends? A housekeeper? Building maintenance? Not knowing was unacceptable to Lexa. There needed to be key and access control measures in place for Clarke’s protection and safety. Didn’t she have handlers and management who should be providing this for her?

Lexa squeezed the bridge of her nose. The pressure slowly building behind her eyes was sure to turn into one hell of a headache. How did Clarke have all these people in her life and no one thought to look out for her safety? She heard a few more buzzes from Clarke’s phone and sure enough it was more mentions on social media. Lexa scrolled back up through the text notifications back to the two texts that had caught her eye. Dr. Abigail Griffin. Well she had to be a relative of Clarke’s. But who? Clarke mentioned she was an only child, so not a sibling. An aunt? Cousin? Maybe. But the contact name in Clarke’s phone was too formal. Clarke hadn’t talked about her parents yet. That could mean two things. 1. She wasn’t close to them or 2. They were both deceased. The tone of the text was very familiar, like the tone she got from her mother whenever she was in the shithouse for something. Lexa looked at the message again “Clarke, ring me please when you get a chance.” Yep, that scolding tone wrapped up in a polite request definitely sounded a lot like a mother.

Lexa then looked at the next text. There was something about the tone in this one that just rubbed her the wrong way. The name was familiar. It was fairly unique, but she couldn’t quite remember where she had heard it before. She racked her brain before it suddenly clicked. Lexa opened her own phone and looked up Clarke’s IMDB page. Yep, that’s where she saw it before. In one of Clarke’s previous social media mentions. Bellamy Blake, Clarke’s costar on Exodus.

“Who’s the girl Clarke?”

Only four words, but four words that seemed malicious in their intent.

She never met him but she already didn’t like this Bellamy Blake.

Lexa put Clarke’s phone into sleep mode and carefully placed it back on her nightstand. Somehow through all of this, Clarke remained dead asleep against Lexa’s shoulder. Her only movement was to rub her nose against Lexa’s skin and sigh contently before settling back into to her comfortable slumber, face still smushed against Lexa.

Lexa fires off a quick text to Anya informing her that she was in the loop and asked her to tell Raven that she would handle it with Clarke as soon as she got up. She then scrolls though her list of contacts and pulls up a familiar number. She hesitated for a minute, thinking over her options before she hits send. She smiles as the familiar voice answers. “Hey Monty.”

“Hey Lex! How’s Australia?”

Her smile grew wider at his enthusiasm. “Great.” Her eyes drifted over to Clarke. “Really great.”

She rolled over on her side slowly so as not to disrupt Clarke's sleep. Clarke rolled with her and readjusted herself over Lexa’s back. Her face now smushed against Lexa’s left shoulder blade, her arms still secure around Lexa’s body. Lexa could only smile.

“How’s Harper?” Lexa asked quietly.

“Good. She’s good, getting big, eating everything under the sun.” Monty chuckled.

Lexa smiled. “Being seven months pregnant will do that.”

“Yes, it will. You’re still coming to the baby shower, right?” Monty asked.

“I am, I actually picked up something really cute for the baby yesterday.” Lexa replied.

“I know Harper will love whatever you get for her.”

“Hey Monty.” Lexa shifted the phone to her other ear. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure Lex. Anything.”

“Can you look into something for me?” Lexa asked quietly. “Off the record?”

“Sure.” Monty paused. “Wait, it’s not something illegal is it?”

Lexa laughed. “No, nothing like that.”

“Ok.” Monty replied. “But just so you know, I'd be down either way.”

Lexa’s laugh softened. “I know you would Green. Here’s what I need.”

Lexa spent the next fifteen minutes explaining to her friend exactly what she wanted him to do.

“No problem, Lex. This is child’s play. Shouldn’t take me too long. I’ll call you as soon as I get something.”

“Thanks Monty. I appreciate it.”

“But you know, Harp and I are going to need to be filled in properly about this whole situation when you get back. You’re not getting off easy on this Woods.”

Lexa smiled. “I have no doubt Green. Tell Harper I will fill you in when I get back and give her my love.”

“Will do.”

Lexa hung up her phone and placed it back on the nightstand on her side of the bed, being sure to reattach the charger. She felt Clarke arms squeeze her. She put her head on the pillow and fell asleep with a content smile on her face. The ticking of the countdown clock silent...for now.

**

She felt the fluttering of kisses against her skin, the sensation of soft wet lips being pressed against her shoulders and back over and over again. It was a sensation she would never get tired of. She felt nimble hands exploring, tickling at her more sensitive spots that had long ago been discovered. She wanted to spend every morning for the rest of her life waking up like this.

She debated whether or not to pretend to still be asleep and simply bask in the warmth of Clarke's affection and let Clarke love her up.

  
“Morning baby.” A scratchy voice husked against her skin.

“Morning.” Lexa replied as she stretched out her arms and legs. A few satisfying back pops later she rolled over into Clarke's waiting embrace. She nestled her face into Clarke's neck and kissed her soft skin.

That’s when Lexa noticed. When she could feel the energy rolling of off Clarke, her anxiety was palpable. She looked into Clarke’s blue eyes and knew she had already seen her phone this morning.

“You saw?” Lexa whispered. Her throat still rough and dry from sleep.

Clarke nodded. “I don’t care.”

Lexa’s forehead crinkled as she worried her brow, perplexed by Clarke’s cavalier words when Clarke’s body was telling her that she was filled with anxiety. “You don’t?”

  
“No Lexa. I don’t. I don’t care if people know about you. Know that I’m with you.” Clarke moved her body impossibly closer to Lexa’s, swallowing up whatever miniscule space was left between them. “Know that I’m yours.”

Lexa closed her eyes as Clarke moved in to kiss her. Lexa could feel Clarke’s lips tremble as the moved against her own lips. Lexa pressed more firmly into the kiss, wanted to let her lips soothe whatever had frayed Clarke’s nerves. She ran her hands over Clarke’s exposed skin, relishing the softness under her fingertips. She felt the tension in Clarke’s body fade the more her hands wandered and explored. When Clarke pulled back from her kiss, she seemed calmer and more relaxed.

“Do _you_  want people to know?” Clarke asked as she looked deep into Lexa’s eyes. Lexa heard the faint tinge of distress in Clarke’s voice, the fear of hearing an answer that might disappoint her.

Lexa smiled softly. “Of course I do.” Her fingertips lingered on Clarke’s skin, tickling at the fine downy peach fuzz that covered Clarke’s upper thigh. “I don’t want anyone to think that you’re still on the market.” Lexa smirked as her fingers danced, pulling a small but stifled laugh out of Clarke.

Clarke half heatedly shooed Lexa’s hand away before pulling it back and placing it on her hip. Lexa gave it an affectionate squeeze eliciting another muted laugh from Clarke. “And besides, Anya knows, so basically half of New York City already knows. That’s already about uh…” Lexa paused as she did some quick math in her head. “4.25 million people.” She added with an even bigger smirk.

“Anya likes to talk huh?” Clarke asked with a shy smile.

“She’s a lawyer, of course she loves to talk, or more particularly, hear herself talk, but you know.” Lexa replied and Clarke could only bury her head into Lexa’s chest to keep from laughing out loud. Lexa savored feeling Clarke’s warm breath on her skin. She loved the way their body heat combined to form a warm blanket around their naked forms. How Clarke’s peaks filled perfectly all the valleys of Lexa’s body.

“What about your job?” Clarke mumbled into her skin.

That’s when it clicked for Lexa. “ _That’s_  what you’re worried about?” She asked as she kissed the top of Clarke’s head.

Clarke kissed her collarbone before picking her head up and resting it on her hand. “Aren’t you?”

“No.” And for the first time since this whole thing started, she really wasn’t. In the days that had passed since the incident with her boss, Lexa had found that as important as her career was and as hard as she had worked to get where she was, when she was with Clarke, none of it mattered. All that mattered was the woman who was currently pressing her naked body against Lexa. _She_ was enough, _she_ was more than enough. “I told you, I want to be with you, I don’t care about the consequences.”

“But Lexa, you could lose your livelihood. Your career, everything you worked so hard for.” Clarke’s eyes flashed again with her anxiety.

“Then I lose my job.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders. “Will it suck? Yes of course it fucking will. But I can do other stuff, I had a friend who retired and is a security consultant for a Fortune 500 company, she’s been trying to get me to come work for her for ages, I could do that. Hell, I can do a lot of things. Corrections, Security, Surveillance, I could even work for another department if the reprimand isn’t too severe. Maybe even go federal. I don’t know.” Lexa spent whatever free time she had thinking of employment alternatives. Just in case.

“Or I could support you.” Clarke interjected. “Until you find something, if you get fired.”

“No Clarke.” Lexa shook her head “No I couldn’t let you do that.”

“Babe, this is partially my fault.” Lexa shook her head, but Clarke wasn’t having it. “Lex, yes.” Clarke removed herself from Lexa’s embrace and sat up on her knees before resting back on her haunches. She placed a hand reassuringly on Lexa’s abdomen. The room was warm and comfortable, and Lexa always ran hot, but she could only feel her flesh goosebump under Clarke’s touch. “Let me help you Lexa. Please.” Her eyes were so blue and so honest. Her voice strong but hopeful. And if she was wearing clothes Lexa might say Clarke was pinning her heart on her sleeve for Lexa. As much as Lexa’s pride was screaming at her to say no to Clarke, she knows that she just can’t. She just _can’t_  say no to this woman.

Lexa nodded. “Ok.” And Clarke’s face broke out into the widest smile Lexa had ever seen. “If that’s what happens, and when I run though my savings.” Lexa’s pride added as a caveat and Clarke seemed to accept the terms of their agreement.

“Agreed.” Clarke offered her hand and Lexa took it and gave it a somewhat firm handshake before pulling Clarke in and wrapping her up in an embrace. “Lex!” Clarke laughed as Lexa peppered her neck with kisses, relieved that whatever tension Clarke held within her body finally ebbed away. She also didn’t miss the way Clarke had affectionately called her Lex instead of Lexa this morning. It wasn’t a nickname she was particularly fond of, Monty was the only one who ever called her that, but it sounded magical when it fell from Clarke’s lips.

She upped her attack on Clarke’s neck while her fingers poked at Clarke’s more ticklish areas, pulling more delicious peals of laughter from Clarke. She was still careful not to leave a mark while sucking at the delicate skin of Clarke’s throat. The bruise she had left on Clarke’s chest had turned an ugly shade of yellow, but was thankfully finally healing. Lexa loved what the mark indicated, that Clarke was hers and no one else’s, but the bruise was obnoxiously big and glaring. Lexa couldn’t help but be a little ashamed by her fervor when putting it there in the first place and at the same time, a bit conflicted at her eagerness to see it remain there forever. Her thoughts got the best of her and she remained momentarily distracted at the idea of giving Clarke a permanent token of her affection.

Needless to say Lexa was surprised when she was rolled over on to her back, a smiling goddess looking down at her as Clarke pinned her wrists to the bed above her head. Clarke straddled her, her damp center lingering over Lexa’s in a most seductive manner.

Clarke looked to be very proud of herself for gaining the upper hand in this situation. “My turn.” She offered with a dangerous smile as she leaned down and started kissing Lexa’s neck and chest. Lexa was helpless to resist, not that she would ever want to anyways. She let Clarke have her way with her, enjoying every touch and banking the feeling of them away for when she would inevitably have to leave Australia and go back home.

Clarke relinquished her attack on Lexa’s body and sat back up, releasing Lexa’s arms, which wasted no time in snaking themselves around Clarke’s waist. “Lex?”

  
“Yeah?” Lexa replied, liking the new nickname more and more.

“I wanna try something.”

“Something?” Lexa asked, her left eyebrow quirked in curiosity.

Clarke nodded as she bit her lower lip and Lexa was sure she melted into a puddle of gay goo underneath her.

“Have you ever used a strap-on?”

Lexa paused. No she had not. In her sexual experience, which was rather limited, she had only imagined the prospect of using a strap-on. Octavia had no interest in using one, nor did any of the handful of other women Lex had slept with. Lexa herself often debated the heteronormativity of such devices, not to mention the patriarchal connotations. For example, the thought that a penis of any kind is required to enjoy sex, that sex is not complete or fulfilling or pleasurable without one. That and the fact that penises were just weird to Lexa, probably because the only she’s ever seen in person was the oddly shaped one that a drunk frat boy had decided to leave hanging out of his pants during an arrest. For Lexa, that was one of the advantageous side-effects of being a lesbian, she never had to deal with anyone who had one. But…she did find the prospect of having sex with one conflictingly alluring, and the thought of having sex with Clarke while using one, well, that idea was downright thrilling.

“No.” Lexa’s voice squeaked as she tried to control her excitement at the prospect of taking Clarke that way.

“Ok,” Clarke replied as she extracted herself from Lexa and walked over to her dresser. She pulled out a purple harness and matching realistic looking, albeit purple, dildo. “So Raven got this for me as a joke a few months back, but…” Clarke trailed off as she unfurled the harness, “I saw it the other day when I was looking for a clean shirt and…” Clarke trailed off again as she attached the dildo to the harness before hooking it on her finger and letting it hang, “I thought maybe we could try it out?”

Lexa’s palms started sweating and she rubbed them together to dispel the moisture. “Uhm, sure.” Then a thought popped into Lexa’s head. “Wait do you want me to use it on you or you use it on me?”

Clarke smiled as the harness still dangled teasingly from her finger. “You use it on me?”

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief. Not that she was completely opposed to Clarke using it on her, but she had only very recently become comfortable with any kind of penetrative sex, which was of course, entirely thanks to Clarke. But she also knew she was nowhere even close to being ready to have a seven-inch purple strap-on inside of her. Not yet anyways.

Lexa realized that Clarke was still patiently waiting for an answer. Lexa nodded. “Yes.” Her reply brought an even bigger smile to Clarke’s face.

Lexa stood up and watched as Clarke fitted her with the strap-on. Looking on as Clarke snapped the harness around her thighs and hips, giving it a slight pull on one side and then the other to adjust the fit. Lexa looked down at her new purple appendage and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her at the sight. She gave her hips a wiggle and laughed even harder as the purple toy bounced up and down with her movement. “This is kinda fun.” She laughed even louder as she wiggled and the toy bounced again.  
She stopped laughing when she saw Clarke’s hand wrap around the shaft. She looked up at Clarke, she was smiling, obviously amused with Lexa’s antics, but there was something more behind her smile…desire. “That’s not the kind of fun I was hoping for.” Clarke smirked and Lexa gulped.

Clarke gave the toy an experimental tug, it snapped back into place hitting Lexa in just the right spot. “Oh.” Lexa gasped, not even realizing until right now the full potential of what was currently protruding from between her legs.

“Good?” Clarke asked with a wry smile.

Lexa could only nod her head.

Clarke kissed Lexa, grabbing her ass forcefully and pulling her close, the length of the toy the only space between them. Lexa was kissing Clarke, or more so Clarke was kissing Lexa, it was hot and passionate, her tongue exploring the inside of Lexa’s mouth and then all at once it was gone. Lexa’s brain took a second to catch up to what was happening. She opened her eyes and only saw empty space in front of her. It wasn’t until she caught a tuft of blonde hair in her periphery that she looked down.

Clarke was on her knees in front of Lexa, looking up seductively, but Lexa saw more, saw the hunger, the innate desire to please. Lexa’s eyes opened wide at what she realized Clarke was about to do. Something that she was sure Clarke probably didn’t want to do, but thought she had to do. A part of her felt like it was degrading for Clarke to be in this position, on her knees, _servicing_ Lexa. It made Lexa cringe. Now, all Lexa could think of is how one plastic toy suddenly changed the whole dynamic of their sexual relationship. Lexa needed to stop this. She put a hand tentatively on Clarke’s cheek. “You don’t have to.” She whispered, suddenly afraid of her own voice.

“I know.” Clarke whispered back as instinctively leaned in to Lexa’s touch. “I want to.”

“Clar-“ And with that Clarke took the head of the purple toy into her mouth.

And in spite of herself, Lexa was mesmerized by the sight.

She couldn’t even begin to wrap her head around what she was seeing. Clarke’s lips wrapped around the purple dildo, her eyes staring directly into Lexa’s soul. And when Clarke eased the toy further into her mouth, Lexa couldn’t help the tiny whine that escaped her. Clarke pulled the dildo all the way out of her mouth and smiled as she inspected the toy. Her saliva was glistening off the first four inches of the dull purple faux skin cock. Clarke wrapped her left hand around the shaft and gave it another tug, this time making certain the conveniently placed nub on Lexa’s side of the dildo rubbed up against Lexa’s clit.

“Oh my…” Lexa closed her eyes at the sensation. It was way more than she was prepared for, this whole experiment so far was way more than she was prepared for. She opened her eyes and watched as Clarke’s lips wrapped around the head again as her left hand remained wrapped around the shaft.

Then Clarke began to take more of Lexa’s new appendage into her mouth.

Then her head was bobbing up and down as her hand fisted the purple member.

Now Lexa knew what all the guys made such a fuss about.

She couldn’t feel it, but she could feel it. And the visual, _dear Lord, the visual._ Lexa was sure she momentary blacked out at the sight.

Clarke was the one that had wanted to foray into this new territory and Lexa was embarrassed at how quickly her orgasm was creeping up on her. There was so much going on in Lexa’s head, to Lexa’s body. It was almost too much. And while Clarke looked like she was enjoying what she was doing, Lexa wanted to be certain that this was what Clarke wanted. She wanted to be certain that Clarke got pleasure out of this experience. She put her hand over the one Clarke was using to stroke her fake dick and gave it a gentle squeeze to get Clarke’s attention. Clarke let the dildo fall out of her mouth with a loud pop and Lexa had to tighten her stomach and groin muscles to stop from cumming right there.

She took Clarke by the hand and pulled her back up to her feet. Clarke responded to her chivalry with a smirk, clearly proud of herself for the response she was eliciting from Lexa.

Lexa led her to the bed, but had no idea what to do next. She didn’t want to just throw Clarke on the bed and hump her into oblivion. (But she kind of did want to do that.) Fortunately, Clarke took the lead. She laid down on the bed, scooching her body all the way up the mattress until her head was resting on a mountain of fluffy pillows. “Come here.” She whispered and Lexa immediately complied with her request, laying on the bed next to Clarke. “What do you want to do?” Clarke whispered as she cupped Lexa’s cheeks and gave her a long, slow, tongue filled kiss. Lexa’s brain was racing. There were so many things, so many scenes playing out in her lust filled mind. Clarke on all fours, Clarke on top, Clarke underneath her, Clarke up against the wall, Clarke bent over the desk. There were so many options! Too many for Lexa to vocalize and all she ended up doing was shrugging her shoulders as Clarke continued to kiss her.

Thankfully once again, Clarke took the initiative. She gently pushed Lexa onto her back before straddling her waist, the toy resting in the crack of her behind. She began kissing Lexa’s neck, sucking at her sensitive spots before running her tongue over the column of Lexa’s throat. Lexa closed her eyes and let the sensations overtake her. Clarke’s weight was comfortable on top of her, her kisses and touches further stoked the fire that was already raging in Lexa’s belly. She felt Clarke kiss her chest before latching on to her left nipple. Clarke’s tongue was so skilled, and Lexa was already so turned on. Her hips were moving on their own grinding the toy against Clarke’s marvelous ass. The sensations were so much; Lexa was on the verge of being over stimulated.

She left her hands splayed out on the bed, not sure where to put them. She wanted to direct Clarke, but she didn’t know where exactly. She remained fixed to the bed, letting Clarke do whatever she wanted. Clarke released her nipple and moved back to her face. She looked at Lexa like Lexa hung the moon and stars all by herself. Lexa blushed under her intense gaze, but never broke eye contact with Clarke. Her goddess, her girlfriend. The woman that Lexa was sure was the love of her life. Clarke smiled at her, a knowing smile, like she could read Lexa’s thoughts. She pressed a quick but sincere kiss to Lexa’s lips before raising her hips and reaching between their bodies.

They never broke eye contact as Clarke slowly sank down on the toy. Clarke let out a satisfied moan as she bottomed out. Lexa’s hips twitched, they had a mind of their own right now, all they wanted to do was thrust up into Clarke. Lexa’s hands immediately moved to Clarke’s waist, her grip was firm but not aggressive. She was only trying to stop her instinctive need to move her body against Clarke’s.

Lexa managed to quell her needs for now and let Clarke set the pace. She began grinding on Lexa’s new appendage at a tortuously slow speed. With each thrust, she could feel Clarke’s body become more comfortable with the new intrusion and could feel her own hurtling towards the orgasm she put off earlier. Every time Clarke bottomed out, every little sway of her hips, hit Lexa right in the clit. It was the most delicious torture.

Clarke sat up and rested her palms against Lexa’s rib cage. She upped her pace slowly, every thrust pulling a deep moan from her body, every moan like music to Lexa’s ears, a classical symphony that was composed only for her. It was Clarke’s masterpiece, her opus.

Lexa was beginning to feel more confident and let her left hand wander to Clarke’s nipple giving it a little pinch. Clarke’s head lolled back and she squeezed her eyes shut. “Fuck baby.”

Clarke’s body responded and It was like Lexa could actually feel Clarke. Like she could feel Clarke’s insides clench around the dildo.

  
It felt amazing to be with Clarke like this.

She wanted more, _always_ more.

She smirked as she pinched Clarke’s nipple again and gave it a little pull, knowing exactly what it did to Clarke.

Clarke leaned down and hovered near Lexa’s ear. “I’m going to ride your dick all night.” Clarke husked.

Lexa’s stomach dropped and she almost came right then. “Fuck Clarke, you can’t say shit like that if you want me to last.”

Clarke pulled back and bit her lower lip for a second, knowing exactly what that did to Lexa. “Who said I want you to last?”

Clarke leaned back up and dropped down hard on the strap-on. Lexa let out a gasp which evolved into a full blown pornographic moan as Clarke rolled her hips and ground the protruding nub into Lexa’s clit over and over again. Lexa tensed and her whole body seized as her orgasm overcame her. She saw stars and she felt her fingertips digging into Clarke’s skin, trying to anchor herself to some fixed point in this world because she was sure her soul was trying to escape her body and move on to the next. Her arms and legs went heavy and felt almost numb as they spasmed and tingled. She closed her eyes and felt the pull of sleep tug at her.

Clarke chuckled. “Don’t tell me you’re a one and done type of Sheila?” she asked as she rubbed her palms gently up and down Lexa’s sides.

Lexa’s eyes remained closed. “I just need a few seconds to regroup.”

She felt Clarke’s hip rise up and hears the wet slurp as the dildo slides out from her girlfriend. She can feel Clarke’s juices rolling down her thighs, mingling with her own. Clarke laid down next to her, dropping tender kisses the overheated skin of her shoulder. Her hands wandered, exploring the expanse of Lexa’s body, her touches weren’t sexual, they were reassuring.

Lexa basked in the afterglow, loving that Clarke went from erotic temptress to cinnamon roll in a blink of an eye. Such was the enigma that was Clarke Griffin. She was a puzzle and Lexa wanted to thoroughly examine each piece, run her fingers along each edge and each curve until she figured out how to put it all back together.

But first…

She left Clarke hanging, she got so caught up in her own orgasm, she failed to make sure Clarke was properly satisfied.

She opened her eyes and looked over at her goddess, her cheeks were flushed, her hair still sleep mussed.

She was so beautiful.

And she was all Lexa’s.

Lexa felt a renewed sense of energy flow through her veins.

She felt determined. Determined to make Clarke not only cum, but make this an experience she would surely not soon forget.

Lexa kissed the top of her head and Clarke looked up and smiled at her. Lexa leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Roll over on your belly.” She whispered. Clarke’s eyes grew wide for a second, before realizing what Lexa wanted to do. She smiled as she hastily did as Lexa requested.

Clarke rested on her elbows, her back arched just enough for her perfectly shaped behind to be presented fully to Lexa, and her legs were spread slightly apart.

Lexa moved between them and sat on her haunches admiring the view spread out before her. She ghosted her hand over the firm flesh of Clarke’s rear, letting her fingers dance along the now goosebumped flesh. Every touch was met with an eager reply from Clarke, she arched her back even farther, and with doing so, pushed her behind even higher in the air. “Baby please.” She choked out as Lexa teased her again with barely there touches.

Lexa couldn’t stand how desperate Clarke sounded. She grasped the firm globes of Clarke’s ass and gave them both a gentle squeeze before parting them. Clarke looked over her shoulder to see what Lexa was doing to her and seemed to be surprised when instead of entering her, Lexa leaned down and ran her tongue over Clarke’s folds. “Oh God.” Clarke moaned as her head dropped down into the pillow beneath her.

Lexa mapped Clarke with her tongue, down to her clit and then up her slit, over and over. Clarke started a slow grind, humping into her face. Lexa dipped her tongue into Clarke’s opening, she wanted to work Clarke up nice and easy, but the taste of her girlfriend was addictive. She thrust her tongue in and out, making sure to repeatedly flick the tip over the spongy bump on Clarke’s front wall. Clarke spread her legs wider in and open invitation. “Oh Lexa, oh Lexa.” She moaned into the pillow over and over. At least that’s what it sounded like to Lexa.

Clarke’s legs were trembling and the muscles in her back visibly strained as she arched even more into Lexa’s tongue. A glistening sheen of sweat covered both of them. Lexa strained to reach the deepest parts of Clarke, her jaw beginning to ache. But Lexa’s discomfort didn’t matter.

Clarke began gasping for breath, her skin flushed and sweaty. The “Oh Lexas” devolved into strangled and choked moans and screams that were muffled by the fabric of the pillow her face was currently buried in. Her fists were white as they gripped the sheets that were now tangled beneath them. She was so close.

Lex knew what she needed to push her over the edge. She reached around Clarke’s waist and zeroed in on her target.

Her fingertips drew small circles around the engorged nub as she surged her tongue impossibly deeper. Clarke picked her head back up as she hips pumped into Lexa’s thrusts. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!” She screamed as she came. Lexa was certain everyone staying in this hotel, everyone staying within a city block, heard Clarke’s orgasm, but she could not care. Lexa collected the fruit of her labor on her tongue and drank Clarke in before slowly extracting herself, and after she did, Clarke collapsed into a boneless heap on the bed.

  
But Lexa wasn’t done with her yet.

Lexa sat back on her knees and shuffled up to Clarke’s backside. She spread her open again, but this time she lined up the tip of the strap-on with Calrke’s entrance, rubbing it through Clarke’s abundant wetness to make sure it was properly lubricated. Clarke still lay in a heap on the bed, but her hips rose up to meet Lexa’s intrusion, signaling to Lexa that Clarke was consenting to this activity. Once Lexa felt she was suitably lubricated, she slowly eased in.

Lexa stared in awe as she watched the purple toy disappear inch by inch into Clarke.

“Mmnnn.” Clarke moaned though closed lips as Lexa bottomed out.

Lexa nudged the back of Clarke’s thighs with the fronts of her own, and Clarke opened wider for her. She pulled out slowly, knowing Clarke was probably still sensitive from her orgasm. Lexa held on to the place where Clarke’s thighs met her hips and pushed forward in one long slow thrust.

If she thought the visual of Clarke sucking her off before was amazing, it was _nothing_ compared to this.

Clarke still lay flay on the bed, her arms tucked under the pillow her head was on, her hips canted upwards, meeting every one of Lexa’s slow thrusts. Where Lexa’s eyes were fixed, watching with rapt fascination as she disappeared and reappeared in and out of Clarke.

The strap-on was just missing where Lexa needed it to hit her most, so she decided to change up their positioning. She leaned forward, resting on her elbows on either side of Clarke’s chest. Clarke moaned beneath her and turned her head so she could kiss Lexa. Their mouths met, it was messy, but perfect.

Lexa pulled out and then thrust back in, her eyes snapping shut as she realized the dildo was now lined up perfectly to hit her clit. She thrust again, this time with a little more speed and when she did Clarke let out a sinful moan. “Ohhhhhhh, fucking fuck.” Clarke hisses as Lexa thrust again. “Baby right there. Oh God, right there!” Apparently in this position Lexa was hitting Clarke’s sweet spot as well.

Clarke’s arms moved from under the pillow and she lined them up with Lexa’s, their hands now intertwined. They held onto each other as their rhythm increased. The sound of skin hitting skin echoing throughout the room. Clarke met Lexa’s lips again in another messy kiss. “Oh don’t stop. Don’t stop.” She kept whimpering as Lexa hit the sensitive spot inside of her over and over again. Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke’s sweaty shoulder and doubled her efforts.

The sweat was rolling off both of them now as Lexa pumped with all her might into Clarke. The gasps and moans combined with sharp slap of where their bodies repeatedly met drowned out the thumping of Lexa’s heart.

Clarke writhed beneath her, her hips bucking into Lexa’s with perfect timing. Lexa kissed Clarke’s temple, her blonde hair long matted to her sweaty forehead, but it didn’t matter to Lexa.

This was heaven.

She felt her arms and legs tremble with her exertion, and the burning in her lower belly. The coiled snake that was sexual release, ready to strike out at any minute. She rested her own forehead between Clarke’s shoulder blades as she continued to ram into Clarke.

  
Clarke was going to come first.

“Baby. Oh, Lexa, kiss me.” Clarke asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Lexa picked her head up and leaned down. This kiss wasn’t frantic or rushed. It was filled with every emotion they shared. Their feelings laid bare through the motion of their lips and tongues. Lexa watched as Clarke tumbled over the edge into oblivion. Watched as her body shuddered in pleasure, watched as she took her own tumble over the precipice. Their eyes locked on each other’s, hands joined, bodies joined, as they rode out wave after wave of pleasure together.

Lexa’s body finally gave out and she collapsed on top of Clarke. She tried her best to keep her weight off of her. But Clarke pulled her hands underneath her body, essentially trapping Lexa.

“Don’t pull out yet.” She whispered.

Lexa nodded. “Ok.”

They stayed like that for a while, only exchanging gentle kisses and soft whispers of love and devotion.

Eventually, Lexa’s phone rang, and sliced thought the little insulating bubble they had created.

“Go ahead.” Clarke whispered. “I have to pee anyways.” She smiled.

Lexa slowly pulled out. Her muscles had gone stiff and she was staring to get sore, she knew Clarke definitely had to be sore herself.

And she also had to pee. _Badly_.

But she didn’t want to leave Clarke.

Her phone rang again and she reached over for it as she propped herself up against the headboard.

It was Monty.

She looked over and saw Clarke disappear into the bathroom. It was safe to answer.

“Hey Monty.”

“Hey Lex, not interrupting anything am I?”

“No.” Lexa chuckled. “Find anything?”

“Yes. I know exactly who has been leaking those pics.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Figure 8 pools are real  they are naturally occurring pools that are outside of Sydney.

They are also on my own list for Australia.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also just wanted to say that even tho I may not respond I do read every one of your comments. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Thank you all.


	17. Pics and Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds out who has been releasing the pics and makes a new friend. Clarke has a set back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE!!!! 
> 
> Yaass! An update for you! Finally!!! Updates will be coming at about the same speed for the immediate future. I’m sorry that it’s been taking so long between chapters but life has been getting in the way. You all know how it goes. 
> 
> Trigger warning: Homophobic language appears very briefly. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Clarke walked out of the bathroom to find a beautiful sight, her girlfriend naked as the day she was born, save for the very obnoxious purple dildo that was still protruding proudly from between her shapely thighs. Clarke smiled for only a second before she felt it, the atmosphere of the room had changed. When she left she could only feel the passion and warmth that they shared between them, now she felt a new energy. Rage.

She focused again on Lexa, observing the stiff set of her body that only minutes before had been loose and relaxed. She sat on the bed, hand gripping her mobile like she wanted to snap it in half. Like she _could_ snap it in half with a simple squeeze of her fist.

Clarke took a tentative step back. Something new settled into her stomach, something she had never felt in Lexa’s presence before, something that she had stupidly thought was not possible to feel in Lexa’s presence. _Fear_. She eased back into the doorway of the bathroom. Her old familiar instincts kicked in, if she could only close and lock the door without Lexa hearing her, she could hide in the shower until Lexa wasn’t angry anymore. It wasn’t her best option, there was only one exit to this room and one way out of Lexa’s hotel room and a very livid Lexa was in her way of a clear and safe escape.

“Son of a bitch!” Lexa flung her phone across the mattress, it landed on the floor with a dull thud as Lexa brought her hands to her head and rubbed at her temples.

Clarke didn’t know what Lexa saw on her phone that made her so furious, maybe Lexa saw something bad about her, there were always rumors flying about, who she was dating, who she was fucking, who he spent her time with, always along with a running commentary about her looks, how her hips were too big, her arse too wide, how she gained a little bit of weight, or lost too much. Maybe it was these pictures that kept being leaked, maybe Lexa had decided that it wasn’t really worth it. That _she_ wasn’t really worth it.

Lexa had so much to lose and even though she swore up and down to Clarke that it didn’t matter to her anymore, Clarke knew that it did. It had to. She had worked so hard and for so long to get where she had in her career. Now she could lose it all because of Clarke.

Clarke managed to close the door without a sound and turned the lock with a soft click. She grabbed a robe that hung on the back of the door and quickly wrapped her body in the fluffy cotton before stepping into the shower and quietly closing the glass door.

She sat on the cold marble floor in the corner of the shower. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She placed her forehead on top of her knees, effectively turning herself into a little ball. Clarke learned the hard way that this was the best position in which to protect her face and vital organs. Not that he would ever hit her face, no, he was far too smart for that.

He knew her shooting schedule, what her costumes looked like, how much of her they would and would not cover. He pulled her hair, that was always his first move, the one when he lashed out in his uncontrolled anger. Once he regained his composure, his next moves were much more calculated. He slapped her with an open palm on body parts that might be exposed. Punched with a closed fist on parts that wouldn’t. Every time it would end with him telling her that she brought it upon herself, that she was too stupid, that if she had only not done the things he had instructed her not to do, he wouldn’t need to “correct” her. That she just needed to understand her place, she as the lowly woman and he the alpha male she needed to service and obey.

Clarke shook her head, that was _him_. That was years ago and if Lexa was anything she wasn’t him. She was the complete opposite of him, she was sweet and kind, where he was bitter and cruel. Lexa was everything Clarke could ever want in a partner; Lexa was just _everything_. Clarke hung her head again, now in shame instead of in fear. She had worked so hard for so long to move past him. To slowly build back up what he had broken down. Yet here she was, cowering in a shower, letting her past dictate her present.

Lexa wasn’t him.

Lexa wasn’t him.

Lexa wasn’t him.

It was the mantra she kept repeating in her mind over and over. Lexa wasn’t him and she wouldn’t hurt her. Clarke genuinely believed that, genuinely felt safe in the comfort of Lexa’s arms. Arms strong enough to chase away the demons that followed her like a pervasive black cloud. Arms that she could only hope that when this life ended and she took her last breath, would be gently cradling her, easing her into the next life where she would wait patiently to be reunited with their owner only so she could fall into them again. But here she was, hiding in Lexa’s shower, trying not to let the tears welling in her eyes fall into the billowy fabric of her complimentary Four Seasons robe.

***knock knock***

The knocks were soft and tentative, but still startled Clarke as her body involuntarily jerked in response. She picked her head up and used the cuff of her sleeve to wipe away the mist from her eyes, but her body remained fixed to her spot on the floor.

“Clarke?” Lexa’s voice was a tentative as her knock. She sounded timid, reticent even. Clarke could almost believe Lexa sounded afraid.

Clarke waited. Waited for the shoulder or kick to the door that would break the lock and unhinge the wooden barrier. Even though she knew that wasn’t what Lexa would do, she waited for it nonetheless. Her body rigid as all her muscles tensed in anticipation of whatever she thought was going to come. But nothing came. Not even the cursory rattle of the locked doorknob.

Clarke strained her ears, trying to hear any noise that may give her an indication of what was happening on the other side of the door that separated them. Part of her wanted to stand up, sprint to the door, tear it open and throw herself into the arms of the woman she loves. To beg for Lexa’s forgiveness for whatever sins she may have committed. But another part of her knew she didn’t have to do that because there was nothing to apologize for. She didn’t do anything wrong.

Lexa wasn’t him.

Lexa wasn’t him.

Lexa wasn’t him.

Now it was the guilt eating at her. The flash of fear that overtook her for one second, the one second that squashed down all the progress she had made, that made her contradict her own gut feeling, that made her doubt her own safety in the presence of the person that made her feel the safest.

Her ears perked up as she heard some muffled shuffling on the other side of the door that separated them, then the slide of something moving against the door. “Clarke.” Lexa’s voice was soft, but strong. “I’m going to leave the room and give you some space, ok?” Clarke heard something slide against the door again, Lexa’s hand maybe? “Just text me when you’re ready to talk…I’ll listen Clarke, no matter what it is that has you in this room.” She heard Lexa let out a long sigh. “I’m here for you when you’re ready.”  
Clarke heard the shuffling of Lexa’s feet then the pronounced sound of a door closing. But she sat. The cold of the marble biting at her skin, her legs beginning to cramp from being locked into an awkward position for so long, but she sat.

It was an hour maybe; it was hard to keep track of time when she got like this, before she stretched her legs out in front of her with a quiet groan. Her eyes darted to the door as soon as the noise escaped her, waiting for some response, but she didn’t hear anything. In fact, she hadn’t heard anything except the ambient noise of the hotel for a long time. Did Lexa really leave?

There was only one way to find out.

Clarke wiggled her toes for a few minutes, trying to get the blood circulating in her lower half again before attempting to stand. Her knees were wobbly as she steadied herself against the cold marble wall of the shower. Her back ached but it wasn’t anything that a hot bath and a few Paracetamols couldn’t cure. She took one tentative step out of the shower and on to the cool tile floor.

She inched slowly to the door, ears still straining to hear anything that could possibly present a danger to her, but still, she heard only silence.

She swallowed down the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat as she approached the door and wrapped her hand carefully around the gold knob. She drew in a deep breath as she turned her wrist to the right and opened the door.

She only opened it a crack, enough to peer into the bedroom of the suite. The bed was in shambles, the evidence of her and Lexa’s vigorous sexual activity still remained haphazardly tossed about the room. Her eyes were drawn to the purple strap-on that lay unmanned on the stark white sheet that covered the mattress. An hour and a half or so ago it was buried between her legs, attached on the other end to the woman she loves. Now it lay in a heap on the bed, hastily removed and tossed aside. It’s wearer noticeably absent.

Lexa was gone.

Clarke opened the door fully, half still expecting something to come at her, half still ashamed that her mind was still going to that dark place. Clarke scanned the room, Lexa’s clothes that were on the floor were gone, as was her phone.

“Lexa?” Clarke whispered, her voice cracking.

Lexa was gone.

Clarke sat on the corner of the bed. She ran her fingers through her matted hair and slowly breathed out through her nose.

“Lexa.” She whispered again. “I’m so sorry.”

***

Lexa was fuming. Every time the sole of her shoes struck the pavement beneath her, every step that put her closer to her intended destination only served to fuel her rage even further. She had been walking almost an hour, she needed the walk, or so she thought. Normally walking would clear her head, it was something she had used as a coping mechanism ever since she was a child. When life got to stressful, she would walk. “Go outside and enjoy the day,” her mother would tell her. “Let the fresh air chase the worry away.” Her mother was right because it worked…usually. But today…. today only one thing was going to make her feel better.

Punching Finn the bartender right in his stupid face.

It took Monty all of about twenty minutes to track the leaked pictures. Monty worked his (legal) hacking skills and his plentiful contacts to trace the pictures right back to fuckhead Finn. But that, that wasn’t the worst part. That wasn’t what made Lexa’s blood boil. Oh no… what had her seeing red, what had her ready to physically remove the stupid, charming, boyish grin from his face was how the pics were leaked.

Finn Collins was paid $5,000.00 by a gossip website for those pictures.

$5,000.00 to spy on Clarke.

Five thousand fucking dollars to sell out someone who had been a friend to him.

That was what made Lexa see red.

He betrayed her gentle, kind hearted, girlfriend for a pile of cash.

Lexa cracked her knuckles in anticipation as she reached for the handle to the front door of Surley’s and pushed the door open.

A blonde woman behind the bar turned to greet her as soon as she heard the door close. “Cheers! Welcome to Surley’s.” The woman eyed her carefully. “Hey, you’re Clarke’s mate aren’t you?”

Lexa scanned the near empty establishment looking for Finn. It took her a minute to realize that the woman was talking to her. “I’m sorry?” she replied as she finally fixed her attention on the woman.

“You were here with Clarke a few days ago?” The woman replied in a very proper British accent as she dried a beer glass with a white towel. “Lexa, is it?”

The woman had kind eyes that crinkled when she smiled. “Um, yes.” Lexa found herself disarmed for the moment, not expecting this particular interaction when she stepped foot inside the building. She finally remembered her manners and extended her hand. “I’m sorry yes. I’m Lexa.”

The woman took her hand and shook it heartily. “Niylah.” She replied. “So you’re the one Clarke’s been properly gobsmacked over. Though I’m not surprised she fancies you, you’re quite a lovely.”

“Oh, um. Thank you.” And Lexa was blushing again. No, this was certainly not how she thought her trip to Surley’s was going to go when she left her hotel room.

“Can I get you a pint?” Niylah asked.

“No thank you, I um, I’m actually looking for Finn. Is he here?” Lexa replied, though much more calmly than she had been only moments before.

“Yeah, he’s out back bringing the beer order in.” Niylah replied.

“Thank you.” Lexa’s manners remained intact even though she only had one mission on her mind. She began walking towards he hallway that led to the back entrance of the bar.

“Wait.” Niylah stopped her, as she closed the distance between them.

Lexa stopped and eyed Niylah, she seemed harmless enough, though Lexa did wonder how a proper English lass ended up tending bar in Sydney.

“Listen, Clarke is a good one but she’s had a bit of a rough go of it these last few years. So please be kind. I’d be gutted if anything happened to her.” And with that, Niylah turned back to her chore of wiping down pint glasses.

Lexa eyed her again, she wondered if Clarke knew how much the people in her life cared about her. Well, some of the people at least, as her attention was caught by fuckhead Finn carrying two cases of beer in from the back.

Finn was wearing a shirt with no sleeves and was sure to flex his arm muscles for Lexa’s benefit as he placed the two cases on the top of the bar. As if she of all people would be impressed.

God he was such a douche.

“Hello Lexa.” Finn greeted her with an annoying smirk.

“Finn.” Her blood was back to boiling again at just his mere presence.

He leaned back against the bar smugly. “Here for another hook up?”

“Excuse me?” Lexa asked, not liking already where this conversation was going.

“Veggo Burger? I know you liked it before.” Finn shrugged his shoulders. “But maybe you’ve grown tired of it by now, I know I did fairly quick.”

“What?” Lexa asked stunned before her brain slowly put the pieces together. Clarke and Finn weren’t just friends, they were exes.  
  
You’re just an infatuation you know. She’ll get bored with you and toss you aside.” Finn shrugged his shoulders again, his smirk growing wider. “It’s what she does.”

This motherfuc-

***crack***

There’s nothing quite like the sound of skin hitting skin in a violent manner. The very succinct noise of one person’s body meeting another’s in an expression of sheer rage. It’s a noise that is conflictingly pleasing and frightening all at once. It’s one that in Lexa’s line of work, she in intimately familiar with.

Lexa looked down at her own hands that hung at her sides and realized that this particular expression of rage did not come from her. She looked back up at Finn and saw him holding his mouth, his lip properly bloodied.

“Shut your fucking hole.” Lexa turned and found Niylah pointing her finger at Finn, her knuckles spattered with his blood. “You don’t speak about her like that.”

“Get fucked Niylah!” Finn spun around and picked up the bar rag Niylah had been using to clean glasses and pressed it gingerly to his lip. “I’ll talk about that stupid cunt however I please.”

Niylah took a step towards Finn with another clenched fist, but Lexa stepped in between them. “You want to talk?” She asked. “Fine. Talk about how you sold the pictures of Clarke and I to a gossip rag!”

Finn’s eyes grew wide. “Wha? How?” He realized that he was implicating himself with his questions and grew quiet.

“What are you talking about?” Nilylah asked over Lexa’s shoulder.

“He took pics of me and Clarke and sold them to a celebrity gossip website for $5000.00. Didn’t you Finn?”

“Finn?” Niylah questioner him, but he only looked down at the floor.

Niylah turned to Lexa. “Isn this true?”

Lexa nodded her head. “It’s true. My friend in the Cybercrimes Department back home looked into it. He traced pics from the website back to the original source, a computer registered to Finn. He also traced a wire transfer for $5,000.00 from the website’s expense account directly to a bank account, also registered to Finn.”

“Finn, how could you? After all that Clarke has done to help you?” Niylah asked in disbelief.

“How could I?” Finn asked as he removed the towel from his busted lip. “How could I?” He spat at Niylah. “She left me. Kicked me to the side like I was nothing.”

“She let you work here!” Niylah spat back, “for good wages I might add! She let you stay at her flat when you didn’t have a place to live, she helped your father get in with a specialist when he was sick. How could you do this to her?”

Finn remained silent. Lexa had the urge to add a black eye to his busted lip.

“Answer her.” Lexa growled.

Finn raised his head defiantly. “Because I could.Because the money was easy. Because she didn’t think twice about leaving me. Because she’s out there dyking around with this lezzo instead of being with a real man.”

***crack***

Oh this time, this time... that noise was nothing put sweet music to Lexa’s ears.

But again, it was Niylah meting out Finn’s punishment.

Turns out Lexa really likes this Niylah.

“Get out of this pub, get out of my sight!” Niylah growled at him as the knot below his left eye slowly began to blossom.

Finn used his free hand to brush back his hair as he moved to walk past Lexa and Niylah, but Lexa was not done with him yet. She stepped in his way and leaned into his personal space. “Try anything again, come anywhere near her again and I’ll end you.”

She heard Finn gulp as she pulled back and moved out of his way. She started at his retreating form as it exited Clarke’s bar for hopefully the last time.

“Thank you.” She heard form her left and turned to face Niylah. “For looking out for her.”

Lexa nodded. “I think I should be the one thanking you.”

Niylah stared off at the door. “He deserved it.”

“He did.” Lexa agreed. “Though I was looking forward to knocking his teeth down his throat.”

“He does have a very punchable face.” Niylah laughed.

“Indeed he does.” Lexa agreed again.

“I didn’t know… that he still carried a torch for her.” Niylah confessed. “That he could be so cruel. She was only ever kind to him. Kind to all of us.”

Lexa was sure there was more to Niylah’s words, a sad story lurking beneath the surface. Lexa wondered just how many stray delinquents Clarke had taken in and given a second chance.

“Does she know?”

Lexa shook her head. “I’m not sure, she was upset before I left, so much so that she locked herself in the bathroom. I can only assume either more photos turned up or she figured it out for herself.”

Niylah smiled sadly. “I would offer you that pint, but I think you have somewhere better to be.”

Lexa smiled just as sadly. She turned and made her own exit out of Surley’s, hopefully not for the last time and hailed a passing taxi.

She needed to get back to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trauma is a funny thing. It sneaks upon on you in the strangest moments. For Clarke, seeing Lexa that angry triggered her. The consequences of that will be covered in the next chapter. 
> 
> So I’m not particularly a fan of Finn as I’m sure you can tell. It was pretty easy for me to make him the villain, for now........... (twists mustache maniacally).
> 
> For all my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving!!
> 
> Angeliss, hope it was worth the wait.


	18. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa realizes what prompted Clarke's episode. Clarke makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho! Ho! Ho!
> 
> Alright enough about me, update time! I wanted to get this out before the holiday so I am furiously typing this away at my work desk instead of doing actual work. Thank you all for reading, commenting and sticking with me for well over a year on this story. This story means a lot to me and I'm so happy it means a lot to you as well.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING  
> Clarke will be speaking about her abuse in this chapter.
> 
> Happy Holidays!

Clarke wasn’t weak.

She didn’t think she was anyways. She had come so far in her recovery, worked so hard to build her self esteem back up, to build herself back up. To not blame herself for what happened, to understand that many women like her made the same choices. Stayed when they shouldn’t have, when they knew better.

Love was a fickle thing.

She thought she loved him.

She _did_ love him.

What had started out as friendship, turned into something more after a night with too many drinks.

She didn’t understand then.

He seemed sweet, charming. But he was troubled. The signs were there had she chosen to pay attention to them.

She pays attention now.

He had a quick temper, that much she knew from working with him. He often tore into the writers when his lines seemed out of character, or not what he liked for the scene.

She thought he was passionate about his work.

He wasn’t.

They were together three weeks in before it happened the first time.

He was possessive.

She just thought it meant that he cared for her.

It didn’t.

They were at a work function, a handsome extra came over to her table and chatted her up while he was at the bar getting more drinks.

It was innocent.

The extra was an artist like she was, and was asking her about her favorite painters.

He saw more.

That night on the car ride home was the first time he laid hands on her.

It wasn’t a violent outburst; those would come later.

It was subtle, had nothing else ever happened after that she might even say it was harmless.

He reached over and grabbed her knee to get her attention. He laid out his anger through gritted teeth. With every sentence, every syllable uttered, his grip on her knee closed like a vice.

“You’re hurting me.”

She remembers saying it. She remembers him letting her knee go and apologizing profusely.

She remembers him saying it was her fault.

If only she hadn’t embarrassed him. If only she hadn’t made him feel stupid in front of their friends and co-workers.

It was her fault.

That’s how it began.

That, she knows now, was the first step.

The first step of him grooming her into accepting and allowing his behavior.

He walked her to the door and told her she was beautiful, that she was special, that he would never hurt her again.

She believed him.

She was wrong.

Clarke never thought it would happen to her. She was too strong, too smart.

But it did.

“Ms. Griffin?”

Clarke picked her head up and nodded at her therapist. She was so grateful that the doctor was able to fit her in last minute.

She needed this session to work out everything that was going on in her head.

She looked back down at her phone and sent the text she had spent the last twenty minutes staring at before stepping into her therapist’s office.

**

  
**Future Mrs.Woods**  
**Meet me at my flat in two hours. I promise I’ll explain everything, just please be patient with me.**

Lexa stared at the text. Clarke was ok, she was safe. She just needed some time. Lexa respected that. She still wasn’t sure what triggered Clarke, what had her locked in the bathroom. Lexa second guessed leaving her there alone, what if Clarke needed her? What if Clarke was having a full blown panic attack and Lexa had left her all alone? What if she fell and was bleeding all over the floor?

No, Lexa saw her come out of the bathroom and then retreat back in when Lexa started yelling.

When she started yelling…

_Fuck._

“FUCK!”

Lexa slumped back in the armchair and dropped her phone on her lap. “Fuck.” She whispered again. She knew exactly what happened.

She triggered Clarke

In her experience in dealing with survivors of domestic abuse, she knew that the smallest things could trigger an episode. It didn’t matter how long it had been since the abuse occurred, years, decades even, sometimes the slightest thing could trigger a setback. A smell, a sound, the weather even. Sometimes its someone unrelated to the original trauma getting angry over something.

It’s amazing how the human brain works.

It’s amazing how stupid her own could be.

She knew better, she knew better.

She let her anger for Finn, her anger about what he had done to Clarke over shadow her good judgement. She should have anticipated how her outburst would affect Clarke, it didn’t matter if she knew the details of her abuse or not.  
She knew enough.

She only hoped that Clarke would give her the chance to explain just how sorry she was.

**

Clarke felt better after she left her doctor’s office, lighter almost. Her therapist had explained that her panic attack was perfectly normal, especially considering what had happened to her. In fact, her doctor was surprised that these type of events didn’t happen more often. But Clarke had been managing her depression and anxiety though her art and though her therapy sessions. Her art was an important outlet for her, it always has been. After every trying experience in her life, where some people may have turned to alcohol or drugs, Clarke turned to her art.

For her it was easy, her hands moved and swirled colors and shapes on their own. Blues, blacks, grays, reds, oranges, yellows. Her body was an outlet for her brain. And her brain spilled out all of its anger frustration and pain onto the canvas or the paper. Once she was done creating, she felt drained, both emotionally and physically. She often crawled into her bed and slept for days after some creative sessions. They were therapeutic and cathartic experiences that she couldn’t have survived the last few years without.

  
She traveled and so her art traveled with her, paint, canvas, charcoals, clay, colored pens and pencils, fine paper and cheap sketch pads all accompanied her on her journeys, all littered the rooms of her many residences. For Clarke, a house wasn’t a home unless it looked like an artist’s enclave.

That’s how it happened.

She had invited her manager and publicist over for a lunch meeting in her L.A. home to discuss future projects. She found meetings at a restaurant or an office to be far too impersonal and uncomfortable. So she offered to have the annual meeting at her home.  
Her home in the Hollywood Hills that was located next to Runyon Canyon and overlooked the Sunset Strip. Her home that on a clear day, she could see the blue of the Pacific Ocean. The dark wood and deep earth tone warm Spanish Traditional home that was in stark contrast to the stone and white Modern apartment here in Sydney.

Her publicist had asked to use the toilet. He then wandered off and gave himself a tour of the house, including her pool house. Her pool house that was her safe space, her lair, her creative oasis. It was in that room, she locked herself away from the world for hours in the aftermath of her relationship.

She created some of her best work in that place.

Including the painting that currently hung in her bedroom in Sydney.

An astronaut on the beach next to a tiny campfire.

The beach was practically a second home to Clarke having been born and raised in Sydney. A place where she wasted away the aimless hours of her youth. A place where she had her first kiss, met her first love, experienced her first time. A place that was romantic and whimsical and fun and had always held a special piece of Clarke’s heart.

She remembered the first time she went to the beach after leaving him. She drove up to Zuma Beach, hoping the drive and the water and sand would clear her mind. She thought it would bring her comfort, help her feel more at home.

It was a clear night and the stars were blazing brightly in the deep navy sky. There was a bit of a chill in the air, unusual for Malibu at that time of the year, so she pulled a blanket from the boot of her car and wrapped it around herself.

The beach was deserted. All of the tourists and locals long gone. Clarke slipped out of her shoes and socks, grabbing them with one hand while holding the blanket around her shoulders with the other. The sand was cool and soft. She walked for a little bit, letting the sound of the crashing and rolling waves drown out the thoughts that were sailing through her mind.

She came upon a fire pit and some wood that someone had obviously used during the day. Clarke felt the chill beginning to seep through the blanket and decided that a little fire would be exactly what she needed to warm herself up.  
She sat back on the hollowed out driftwood log that was conveniently placed near the fire pit, pleased that she had remembered everything her father taught her about building a proper fire.

She closed her eyes as they heat from the yellow flames warmed her bones. The wood spitting and crackling as it was consumed by the blaze. She sat and patiently waited for the peace she was so desperately seeking to find her. The peace she had always felt in this place, no matter where in the world it happened to be at.

But she felt nothing.

No not nothing.

She felt _alone_.

Yes, she was technically alone as there probably wasn’t another living person anywhere around her, but it was more than that.

She couldn’t tell people what had happened to her. She couldn’t confide in her mother, her mother would only blame her for the situation. She couldn’t confide in her friends, they wouldn’t understand why she stayed as long as she did, why she put up with what she did. She couldn’t tell her bosses of her co-workers, they all loved him. She knew how it would be spun, she was the jilted ex, angry and jealous, dragging his good name through the mud because of her pettiness.

Then there was the show itself, he was the co-lead, what would they do? Fire him? No, they wouldn’t. He was a critically acclaimed actor with a devoted fan base that helped drive the ratings through the roof. He was a goldmine on social media, constantly promoting the show, doing all the cons and appearances, even the ones he didn’t need to attend. Clarke knew now it was only to feed his ego, but his fans at him up like candy and their bosses worshiped him for it.

She couldn’t do it, as much as she wanted to.

Who would believe her anyway?

She never felt more alienated.

She never felt more out of place.

That painting was created after she came home that night. It took only a few hours for her to spill out everything that she was bottling in.

A beautiful landscape, nature at its most serene and powerful. A place of peace and contentment, and the one thing that did not fit into that scene. The one thing that was so obviously out of place.

She was that astronaut.

“Alone.”

That’s what she titles that painting before she stumbled off and collapsed into her bed.

That was the panting that her publicist found, still on her easel.

Her soul completely bared onto a canvas.

He saw some of the other paintings she had stacked up in the pool house. He snapped a few pics on his phone and sent them to an appraisal house without Clarke’s permission.

  
The pics leaked as they do and the reception was very well received. Her social media blew up and her fans begged her to sell them.

She donated them to an auction for a children’s hospital instead. Her fans got what they wanted and the money went to a good cause.

But, for Clarke, the illusion was shattered.

They were private, very emotional pieces. Pieces that helped put her back together bit by bit. Her safe space so to speak.

Now even that was gone.

Taken from her prematurely, like so many other things in her life.

But not “Alone”, she couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ part with that piece.

That piece was created at one of the lowest points in her life.

It also reminded her of how far she has come since that night on the beach.

That's why she hung it in her bedroom.

To remind herself every day.

_*knock knock*_

She knew who it was by the knock, tentative and soft, like it had been only hours before.

Lexa.

Clarke smoothed out her clothes and checked her face in the mirror quickly before leaving her bedroom to answer the front door.

She paused before she opened the door, she knew she would have to tell Lexa what happened. She steeled her nerves and took a deep breath.

She opened the door and saw Lexa, beautiful as ever, even as she appeared frazzled and panicked.

Clarke launched herself into Lexa’s body, wrapping her arms around the surprised woman.

She tucked her nose into Lexa’s neck and drew in a deep breath, smiling as Lexa’s arms wrapped around her.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.”

She felt the salty tears land on her cheek, but they weren’t hers.

She pulled back, her arms still around Lexa and looked at the woman she loved. Her green eyes sparkled like emeralds as they filled with more tears.

“You called me baby.” Clarke smiled as she reached up and wiped away Lexa’s tears with the pads of her thumbs.

“I did?” Lexa asked confused.

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, you did.”

“Oh,” Lexa replied as she sniffled. “Is that ok?”

Clarke smiled even wider as she caught another tear that escaped down Lexa’s cheek. “More than ok. In fact, I don’t ever want you to stop calling me that.”

“Ok.” Lexa smiled and another fat tear rolled down her cheek, Clarke wiped that one away as well.

“We need to talk.”

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry Clarke, I didn’t even think about how that would affect you, I was so angry when I found out who-, you know what?” Lexa shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Are you alright?”

  
Clarke nodded. “I’m alright.”

“I frightened you, I made you lock yourself in a bathroom and then I left you all alone.” Lexa replied. “You should be mad at me.”

Clarke grabbed her hand and led her over to her couch and sat them both down. She noticed how Lexa sat further away than she normally would, how Lexa didn’t invade her personal space.

“Lexa,” she paused as she collected her thoughts. “You didn’t do those things.” She remembered what her therapist told her, ‘assign blame to the right people, to those who are responsible.’ “You didn’t do anything, _he_ did this, _he_ is the reason why I had a panic attack, not you.”

“But-“

“No. I will not let you blame yourself or feel guilty about this.” Clarke reiterated, but she already knew no words could assuage the guilt that Lexa was feeling.

“He… _he_ hurt me Lexa. _He_ did things that… he knew wouldn’t show, that people wouldn’t see, he forced me to do things.” Clarke dropped her head in shame and stared at her lap.

No.

NO.

She would not let _him_ shame her anymore.

She raised her chin in defiance.

“He forced me to do sexual things, he didn’t hold me down, but he forced me, _coerced_ me. Told me he would hurt people I cared about, expose things to the public about me. I wasn’t out yet. But he knew.”

Lexa gripped her hand and gave her a sympathetic smile, but didn’t interrupt her. She knew Clarke needed to do this.

“He would pull my hair. He knew that people wouldn’t see that, that it wouldn’t leave a mark. He would hit me where he knew it wouldn’t be exposed by my costumes. Slaps mostly, sometimes punches. He was careful, calculating most of the times. There were a few times though, a few times where he couldn’t control himself. But I had access to the best make-up available. You’d be amazed at how much it conceals.” Clarke let out a sad laugh.

“The last time,” Clarke sighed. “The last time, what prompted me to finally leave him.” She squeezed Lexa’s hand and met her gaze. She had the warmest, kindest, most understanding eyes. It gave Clarke the strength she needed to continue.

“I caught him poking holes in his condoms. He thought I wasn’t on birth control. He didn’t know I had been getting birth control injections since I was sixteen. He wanted me to get pregnant, to bring a baby into that… mess.” Clarke shook her head. “That was the last straw for me. There was no way, _no fucking way_ I would ever subject a child to that monster. But I knew he was going to force it one way or another. So that night after… after he fell asleep, I took all my shit and I left.”

“Raven let me crash at her house for a few weeks. I couldn’t go back to my house. He didn’t have a key, but I just didn’t feel safe there alone. Raven didn’t ask, she let me have her spare bedroom and my space. I think she suspected that he wasn’t the great guy everyone thought he was. But she didn’t press the issue and I was grateful for that. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone.”

“Can I…” Lexa stopped, clearly unsure of herself. “Can I hold you?”

Clarke nodded and Lexa opened up her arms as Clarke fell into them.

Lexa held her tightly, but not too tightly. The strong embrace eventually relaxed and Clarke snuggled into her, Lexa didn’t remove her arms, but instead held her softly, one hand stroking her back, one hand playing with Clarke’s fingers. She kissed the top of Clarke’s head and Clarke felt her take in a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you Clarke. I wish… I wish I could take that all away. But you wouldn’t be the person you are right now without that experience, as bad as it is. And I…” Lexa removed her free hand from Clarke’s and tilted her chin up so she could see her face. “I love who you are right now.”

“I love you.” Lexa emphasized. “I know this probably isn’t the right time to say that, but I want you to know, I _need_ you to know that. I know things are moving so fast and-”

Lexa didn’t get to finish her sentence.

Clarke’s lips wouldn’t let her.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They said it!!! Yes they did! A little gift for you guys. Thanks again for reading. 
> 
> FYI- The painting Clarke is talking about is the one at the end of Chapter 3. 
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!


End file.
